Treehouse of Horror XIII/Quotes


 * Homer: You guys are nuts! All you can do is eat and sleep and mate and roll around in your own filth and mate and eat...where do I sign up?


 * Lisa: How do you like being a walrus, Dad?
 * Homer: It's great, I haven't been this skinny since high school.


 * Kent Brockman [on TV]: Like comedy clubs in the late '80s, these ravenous clones are everywhere. They destroyed every building in town, except Moe's Tavern, which is reporting record business.
 * [At Moe's Tavern]
 * Moe: All right, who's paying the tab?
 * Homer Clones: LENNY!
 * Lenny: Anything for Homers.


 * Homer: (singing while riding the half-Ned/half-cow creature): In the jungle, the creepy jungle, Homer rides a freak.


 * Professor Frink (as a turkey): Gobble, gobble, gobble, death! [dies]


 * 1987-1989 Homer: Let's all go out for some frosty chocolate milk shakes.


 * Lisa: That's it! I know exactly what we should do.
 * General #1: Thank God! And you said we shouldn't let little girls in the War Room.
 * General #2: Look, I was wrong, okay?


 * Chief Wiggum: Well, well. Not so tough without your gun, are you, Snake? (Snake slaps him on the side of the face) Oh! Ow! I guess you are. That's what I like about this job. You learn stuff.


 * Lisa (counting the number of guns): 28, 29…there's one missing.
 * Homer: Not Mr. Blasty! (strokes his gun) It's okay, boy. You'll be shooting angels in heaven. (sobbing)


 * William Bonney [to Homer]: Play us some pian-ee. (Homer starts playing "Für Elise", and then a bullet ricochets…) That's piano! I said pian-ee!(Homer starts playing western-style music.) You! Play the cell-ee! (Marge starts playing a honky-tonk tune.) [to Bart] You! Sing a song about cattle-russlin'. [to Lisa] And you! Sing one about, uh, robbing banks. (The intro song begins)
 * Bart (sings): Caps in the field, so you sneak up slow, grab 'em by the tail and go man, go.
 * Lisa (sings): Break into the bank and snatch that dough...
 * Bart and Lisa (sings): Please don't hurt our family.
 * (The zombies shoot at the floor directly under Bart and Lisa)
 * Homer: Marge, let me do a solo. This could be my big break!
 * Marge: I very much doubt that, Homer. These are horrible ghouls from the past.
 * Homer: Hey, so are the Grammy judges. [gets grabbed into a room]


 * Lisa [reads William Bonney's grave]: "I dream of a world without guns." Don't we all, William?
 * Bart [taunts]: Lisa has a dead boyfriend!
 * Lisa: He's not my dead boyfriend! He's a dead boy that happens to be my friend.