Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One)/Quotes


 * Grampa: (noticing the dog with a cone on walking past) Hey, the lamp's runnin' away.
 * Bart: That's my dog, man.
 * Grampa: So long lamp.




 * Willie: (ripping off his shirt) "I'LL KILL THAT MR. BURNS!!!! And uhhh, wound ... that Mr. Smithers.




 * EPA Man: As long as Mr. Burns is pumping oil, this bar is closed.
 * Moe: Damn Burns! Just let me get one thing.
 * (Moe pulls his makeshift shotgun from behind the bar and cocks it)
 * Barney: Me too! (pulls out a .38 revolver) Ahh ... now there's the inflated sense of self-esteem!




 * Lunchlady Doris: The cafeteria staff is complaining about mice in the kitchen. I want to hire a new staff! (This was approved)




 * Bart: Skinner said my idea was 'unplausible'.
 * Lisa: Bart, even if they were able to resurrect The Three Stooges, I doubt they'd want to hang out with you.
 * Bart: Yeah, they probably got families or somethin'.




 * Homer: although [ Mr. Burns ] did send us this thank you card.
 * Lisa': (reading aloud) Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie. Dad this doesn't have your name on it.
 * Homer: (angry monotone voice) Kids, could you step outside for a sec?
 * (Bart and Lisa run out of the room)
 * (Homer takes a deep breath, then shouts) FU-
 * (Homer is cut off by a pipe organ. Shocked neighbors look in the Simpsons house)
 * Ned Flanders: Dear Lord, that's the loudest profanity I ever heard!