Welcome to Moe's

Welcome to Moe's is a song sung by Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Moe in the episode Mommie Beerest. The music was composed by Alf Clausen and the lyrics by Michael Price. It is the twenty-fifth track on the album The Simpsons: Testify.

Lyrics

 * Marge:
 * Maybe some cheerier pink would make this place less of a dive.


 * Moe:
 * Marge, my customers don't like themselves, therefore, they seek the darkness.


 * (patrons groan)


 * Marge:
 * Well, as fabulous as your regulars are, a remodel might bring in a higher class of lush.


 * Moe:
 * Look, I like Moe's the way it is, alright, and I ain't changin' it for any dames, skirts, Suzy Qs, or facemacer.


 * Marge:
 * I had a feeling you'd say that. So I prepared something that might help you change your tune.


 * This place is a diamond,
 * But it's trapped in the rough.


 * Moe:
 * Yeah, well the sign still says "Moe's,"
 * So enough of your guff.


 * Marge:
 * Here's my new idea
 * To sell both beer and grub:
 * We will turn this filthy dive
 * Into a proper old-time British pub.


 * Moe:
 * A British bar?


 * Bart and Lisa:
 * (to the tune of "Rule Brittania)
 * Guards and meat pies,
 * And lager in pint glasses.
 * What a classy way
 * To get drunk off your asses!


 * Moe:
 * Hey, hold the phone! An English pub!  That just might work!


 * All:
 * In song!


 * Moe:
 * Oh, my bar could be British instead of arm-pittish
 * So why don't we all--
 * Ah, screw it, let's get renovating.