Burns, Baby Burns

{{episode
 * image=Burns,BabyBurns.JPG
 * productionCode=4F05
 * originalAirdate=November 17, 1996
 * Couch Gag=Balloons resembling the family flaot in, but pop when they reach the couch.
 * specialGuestVoices=Rodney Dangerfield as Larry Burns
 * Written By=Ian Maxtone-Graham
 * Directed By=

Plot
The Simpsons take a trip to an apple cider factory. Meanwhile, Mr. Burns arrives on his his train back home from a college football game. The train is stopped for a few minutes due to a couch being shoved on the tracks. A few yards away from the train, a souvenir stand operator, Larry, sees a perfect opportunity to sell some stuff, until he sees Burns on the train and stands there in shock. He hitches a ride to Springfield from Homer and the family who are driving back from the cider factory. They drop him off at Burn's mansion, wher he meets Mr. Burns and reveals he's is his son, Larry Burns.

Mr. Burns discovers Larry is in fact his son. He tells the story of his birth and where his mother is. Burns takes him to a gala where he insults the people with jokes, which embarrasses Burns. To keep Larry out of his hair, he gives him a job at the plant, where he and Homer become fast friends. Larry invites Homer over for dinner. During dinner, Burns becomes fed up with Larry and starts to hate him as a son. Homer suggests they plan a fake kidnapping, which they go through with.

Homer and Larry hide out in the basment until Burns declares his appreciation for Larry. Marge doesn't want Homer pulling any more fake kidnappings and tells him to bring Larry back, but Homer objects, saying there's cops everywhere and it's broad daylight. She insists he bring him back and he leaves. Just when they go, Marge sees on the news, they have found them out in broad daylight and with cops everywhere. They drive off to find a hiding spot. They hide in a movie no one will see, but Hans Moleman calls the police when disrupt his viewing. When the theater is surrounded, Homer explains that it was an attempt to earn a father's love. Burns tells Larry he can't be the family he needs, which doesn't upset him, since he has a wife and kids he should get back to (it's been a week). Larry declares since everyone is there, they should start a party. A party ensues, complete with alcohol and music, which confuses Marge.

Quotes

 * Larry: "Wow, this guy is loaded. I mean sheesh. I've never seen a guy with a walk-in mailbox. I mena he's rich. Hey, who am I talking to?"