Hans Moleman

"My name is Hans. Drinking has ruined my life. I'm 31 years old!"

- Hans Moleman Hans Moleman (also known as Ralph Melish) is a 4ft 4 in, 140lb mole-like man with extremely bad luck. There is a running gag in the series of him seemingly being killed by accidents, yet returning unharmed later on.

Biography
Although appearing elderly, Hans Moleman once claimed that he was only 31 years old, but due to his heavy drinking,however he may have been lying as he says he drinks a lot, he appears much older but in a different episode it reveals that he is over 70 so his actual age is uncertain. He has cataracts and is almost entirely blind (which has severely impaired his reading ability) and has used medical marijuana. He carries a brown cane with him everywhere, which was once shown to contain a hidden sword. He is also known to be a war veteran.

Hans was once mistaken for Bart and accidentally "de-programmed" (Homer and Marge had hired a cult de-programmer, hoping to convince Bart to move out of Mr. Burns' mansion and back in with them), apparently leading him to believe he is the son of Homer and Marge. At one time, it was revealed that Hans Moleman slept with Lars Ulrich's grandmother, and is considered by Metallica to be a "real fan".

Homer once stumbled across Hans Moleman as the leader of a race of Mole People in an underground fortress complete with earthquake machines. In the opening credits for The Simpsons, Moleman is hit by a car by Marge. He has some jobs such as a mail man and a janitor (in the episode where Homer gets good luck).

His home address was 920 Oak Grove, Springfield.

Apparently, he had a father who lived at Springfield Retirement Castle.

Hans Moleman once attended Springfield University for a short time, only so that he could have somewhere to sit. One of the college girls refers to him as an "80 year old man" only referring to his old appearance. It is unknown how long he attended the school and whether he gained any credits.

Trivia
be confused about his age, saying he is both 26 and 31. However, this is non-canon, too.
 * His license plate says that his name is "Ralph Melish".
 * In early episodes, his skin color was inconsistent and would range from yellow to brownish-yellow.
 * He had an affair with Lars Ulrich's grandmother.
 * He has a knife in his cane.
 * Kissing him is similar to kissing a peanut.
 * He is one of the Springfield residents to appear in a Tracey Ullman short, the others are Krusty and Abe.

Behind the Laughter
Moleman first appeared in the short, Scary Movie without glasses sleeping in the cinema, but wakes up when Bart screams. He was silent by then. He looked different in that short, showing a prototype version of him. He was officaly introduced as a speaking, unlucky character in Principal Charming.