Snake Jailbird

Chester "Snake Jailbird" Turley is Springfield's resident recidivist criminal, always getting arrested, but never appearing to stay in prison. He speaks with a "Valley Boy" accent and keeps a zippo lighter rolled up in his sleeve. Snake has light brown hair. He is also 43 years old. His occupation is a criminal and a former professor and archaeologist. Snake is partial to fast cars and fast women, and has a knack for reckless abandon.

In "The Otto Show," it is implied by Otto that Snake was the one responsible for ruining Spinal Tap's concert.

In the episode, "Treehouse of Horror IX," it is revealed that Snake played lacrosse at Ball State University. He also attended Middlebury College and repaid his student loans after robbing Moe's Tavern. Snake's car's name is "Lil' Bandit," which is a 1968 Pontiac Firebird. It could be a reference to James Dean's so-called possessed car the "Li'l Bastard." It should be noted that the Lil' Bandit's horn plays the opening line of the tune Dixie, similar to The General Lee from the The Dukes of Hazzard.

Snake has a son, who looks just like him, and a brother (or other male relative), who looks and talks very similarly, as seen in an episode, where the two run a Three-card Monte game. Snake's ex-girlfriend, Gloria, briefly dated Mr. Burns, but then came back to him.

Snake was once held captive by Herman, along with Chief Wiggum (in a spoof of Pulp Fiction), but was eventually rescued by Kirk and Milhouse.

Snake once ran a telemarketing scam, but could not stick to it, because he didn't like bothering people at home. He also wrote the books, "The Ten Habits of Highly Successful Criminals" and "A Criminal's Guide to Hiding in Mexico."

In "Homer and Lisa Exchange Cross Words," Snake had a tattoo on his back, saying "Snake and Gloria 4 Ever," but Homer changed it to "Never".

In "Treehouse of Horror IX," Snake was executed based on a "three-strikes" policy. First, he burned down an orphanage, then he blew up a bus full of nuns (which Snake declared was "totally self-defense"), and finally, he smoked in the Kwik-E-Mart. His hair was then implanted into Homer's head, but it had to be removed, due to issues with the hair, instilling Snake-like characteristics into Homer, e.g. seeking revenge for Snake's imprisonment and execution by murdering Bart, etc. This episode was a parody of John Carpenter's 1993 made-for-Showtime film, Body Bags, which consisted of multiple stories; in one, Stacey Keach receives a hair transplant with an alien parasite within, and in another, Mark Hamill receives an eye transplant and is taken over by the personality of the eye's previous owner.

In the episode, "The Seemingly Never-Ending Story," Snake referred to himself as "Professor Jailbird;" it was also revealed that he was formerly an idealistic Indiana Jones-type archaeologist, until Moe stole the Mayan gold coins, that he had discovered and was going to donate to the museum, and he decided to take his revenge out on society (convenience stores).

In the episode, "The Wandering Juvie," it is stated that Snake had previously spend time in a juvenile facility, suggesting he was a criminal before being an archaeologist.

In the flashback episode, "Springfield Up," a 13-year-old Snake is called "Detention Bird" by a 16-year-old Clancy Wiggum.

In "Pygmoelian," it was also revealed that Snake had a son. "The Seemingly Never-Ending Story" revealed that his son's name is Jeremy Turley. The episode also reveals that Snake has custody issues with Jeremy. Although Snake seems to have committed every crime possible, he is an extremely good father to his son, Jeremy. He points Bart out to Jeremy, saying, "Look, there's a boy, you can play with!". Bart and Jeremy play "Battleship" for the remainder of the episode.

In the episode "Sex, Pies and Idiot Scrapes," Snake and Gloria decide to stop by a condo rental place, being run by Homer, who is now a bounty hunter. Gloria appears to be pregnant, and Snake asks, "Are we telling people now?". It is later revealed that Snake took a year off from Princeton, eventually leading to his criminal lifestyle. He is voiced by Hank Azaria.