Snake Jailbird

Snake Jailbird, also known as Professor Jailbird and Detention Bird, is a recidivist criminal, always getting arrested but rarely appearing to stay in jail. He speaks with a "Valley Boy" accent. He is partial to fast cars and fast women, and has a knack for reckless abandon.

Biography
In a documentary by Declan Desmond showing the pasts of several Springfieldians, a 13-year-old Snake is called "Detention Bird" by a 16-year-old Clancy Wiggum.

Snake referred to himself as "Professor Jailbird;" it was also revealed that he was formerly an idealistic Indiana Jones-type archaeologist, until Moe stole the Mayan gold coins, that he had discovered and was going to donate to the museum, and he decided to take his revenge out on society (convenience stores). It is stated that Snake had previously spend time in a juvenile facility, suggesting he was a criminal before being an archaeologist.

It is implied by Otto that Snake was the one responsible for ruining Spinal Tap's concert.

Personality
Snake is always seen getting arrested, but never appearing to stay in prison. He speaks with a "Valley Boy" accent and keeps a zippo lighter rolled up in his sleeve. Snake has light brown hair. He is also 43 years old. His occupation is a criminal and a former professor and archaeologist. Snake is partial to fast cars and fast women, and has a knack for reckless abandon.

Snake's car's name is "Lil' Bandit," which is a 1968 Pontiac Firebird. It could be a reference to James Dean's so-called possessed car the "Li'l Bastard." It should be noted that the Lil' Bandit's horn plays the opening line of the tune Dixie, similar to The General Lee from the The Dukes of Hazzard.

Snake has a son named Jeremy Turley, who looks just like him. Snake has custody issues with Jeremy. Although Snake seems to have committed every crime possible, he is an extremely good father to his son. Snake's ex-girlfriend, Gloria, briefly dated Mr. Burns, but then came back to him. Snake and Gloria have been seen together many times and she is pregnant once.

Snake can be seen wearing a Middlebury t-shirt under his trademark vest, suggesting he may be an alumnus.

Snake was once held captive by Herman, along with Chief Wiggum, but was eventually rescued by Kirk and Milhouse.

Snake once ran a telemarketing scam, but could not stick to it, because he didn't like bothering people at home. He also wrote the books, "The Ten Habits of Highly Successful Criminals" and "A Criminal's Guide to Hiding in Mexico."

Snake once had a tattoo on his back, saying "Snake and Gloria 4 Ever," but Homer changed it to "Never".

Treehouse of Horror
In "Treehouse of Horror IX," Snake was executed based on a "three-strikes" policy. First, he burned down an orphanage, then he blew up a bus full of nuns (which Snake declared was "totally self-defense"), and finally, he smoked in the Kwik-E-Mart. His hair was then implanted into Homer's head, but it had to be removed, due to issues with the hair, instilling Snake-like characteristics into Homer, e.g. seeking revenge for Snake's imprisonment and execution by murdering Bart, etc.

Other
Snake's real name was revealed to be Chester Turley on a Simpsons collectable card.