User:`Count Olaf



Dear reader,

'''There is nothing anywhere if you scroll down. So don't.'''

With no due respect,

COUNT OLAF

'''¡¡¡WARNING!!! This page is extremely miserable and unfortunate. You will be a lot better off reading The Littlest Elf. You have been warned.'''

=Introduction - About me, Count Olaf=

'''No! You scrolled down! I asked you not to!'''

I am the best actor ever.

I've finished all the released ASoUE books.

Whatever you do, do NOT read about my dastardly schemes here!

And you definitely may not view my website at www.countolaf.com!

=WARNING: WANTED - BY OTAL FUCON=

'''Count Olaf is wanted for committing murder, trying to commit murder, hurting people, trying to hurt people, causing fires, trying to cause fires, stealing fortunes, and trying to steal fortunes. If you know him, please contact the authorities, Mr. Poe and/or me at once.'''

P.S. I enclosed a description of Count Olaf so Mr. Helquist can make some perfectly drawn "Wanted" posters about him.

Count Olaf has:


 * A tattoo of an eye on his left ankle with the insigna of V.F.D. cleverly hidden inside.


 * One long eyebrow instead of two.


 * Shiny, shiny eyes .

You may, if you wish, see more devestating information here.

=V.F.D. - COMPETITION= I telegramed this section using the Very Fast Delivery service, and have just escaped from the back of a Volunteers Fighting Disease van. I was in the Villain Fun Day last week, and a friend of mine named Veronica Fiona Dale (who worked in the Volunteer Fire Department) told me to go to the Ventilation and Fan Dealers, so I did and they gave me a Very Funny Debit card. The question is, which V.F.D. will help me out? Post it on my talk page.

=Theater Troupe= Those of you who can read will notice you can easily join my theater troupe. Think about it...you do not have to go to a job interview...

=Things in other languages= Add to these and watch the collection grow!

A Series of Unfortunate Events
English: A Series of Unfortunate Events French: Des désastreuses aventures des Orphelins Baudelaire German: Ratselhafte Ereignisse Spanish: Una Serie de Catastróficas Desdichas

Information: The French version means 'The Disasterous Adventures of the Baudelaire Orphans', the German version 'Mysterious Happenings', and the Spanish 'A Series of Catastrophical Misfortunes'.

SpongeBob SquarePants
English: SpongeBob SquarePants French: Bob l'éponge German: SpongeBob SchwammKopf Spanish: Bob Esponja

Information: Both the French and Spanish versions mean 'Bob the Sponge' and the German 'SpongeBob SpongeHead'!

The Simpsons
English: The Simpsons French: Les Simpson German: Die Simpsons Spanish: Los Simpsons

Information: All the versions mean the same as the English.

Spider-Man
English: Spider-Man French: L'Homme Araignée German: Spider-Man Spanish: El hombre araña

Information: The French version means 'The Man Spider', the Spanish 'The Spider-Man' and I imagine you know what the German does!

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
English: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy French: Le Guide galactique German: Per Anhalter durch die Galaxis Spanish: Guía del autoestopista galáctico Finnish: Linnunradan käsikirja liftareille Dutch: Het Transgalactisch Liftershandboek

Information: The French version means 'The Guide Galactic', the Spanish 'The Guide for the Galactic Hitchhiker' and I'm working out the rest!

=Locked= LOCKED UNTIL 13th OCTOBER 2006

* This page will view/work better with the "MonoBook" format.