Ned's Daily-Diddly Diary!

Ned's Daily-Diddly Diary is a diary belonging to Ned Flanders, mentioned in Flanders' Book of Faith.

Summary
In the book, the diary accounts for one day:

Ned wakes up at 5:30 A.M., prays, then, at 5:50, does a workout, serving the boys oatmeal (thinned with water instead of milk), crackers, and toast for breakfast an hour later.

An hour later, Ned drives the boys to school while listening to a song called "Mornin' Glory with Gloopy and Morrie."

At 8:30, Ned picks up trash in Springfield Park, shines a statue of Jebediah Springfield, and stands on the corner of Main and Elm in case anyone needs directions.

An hour later, Ned arrives at the mall and has a cup of hot water with Bagda, the proprietor of an organisation called Global Shawarmin'.

At ten, Ned opens up The Leftorium, sets up a display for a left-handed mousepad, discounts left-handed canoe paddles, and sells a left-handed weed-whacker to a landscaper who lost his right arm.

At one, Ned has his lunch break, re-opening the store at 1:20 and brainstorms a campaign about ambidexterity.

At four, Ned talks to Rev. Lovejoy for crisis counselling after feeling guilty about "cussing" after dropping a bowling ball on his foot, even though what he said was "snickerdoodle", which isn't a cuss word.

At five, Ned starts making boiled potato sandwiches for dinner, saying grace at 5:30, and having dinner at six.

At seven, the Flanderses clean up while listing things they're grateful for. Todd claims to be grateful that he has the capability for gratitude.

At 7:30, Ned reads his sons a Harry Potter fanfiction and puts them to bed.

An hour later, Ned prays, gets sentimental over Todd's comment on gratitude, and counts his blessings before falling asleep.

At 9:27, Ned is woken up by Homer Simpson, who has parked his still-running car in Ned's drive, is singing about how he can't drive, and has stolen a bunch of pizza. Ned drives the car into the Simpsons' garage, carries Homer home, and returns the pizza.

At midnight, Ned goes back to bed and realises that he smells of pepperoni due to the pizza fiasco but is happy that he could smell worse.