The Otto Show/Quotes


 * Otto's apartment. Otto cannot open the door, and is oblivious to the sign on it.
 * Sign: EVICTION NOTICE.YOU ARE ASKED TO VACATE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY.
 * Otto: Hey landlord, some clown changed my locks.
 * Landlord: Yeah, can't you read? The sign says eviction notice. I am evicting you on account of you losing your job and you can no longer afford rent.
 * Otto: Well, can't I at least get stuff?
 * Landlord: I already got all your personal possessions for you. Your entire inventory consisisted of a couple of psycho magazines and a jar of mustard.
 * Otto: I do not believe it!...I have mustard?


 * Marge: Otto, you can't watch TV all day.
 * Otto: You're right. I should do some reading. You got any "Where's Waldo" books?
 * Marge: No.
 * Otto: A book from a vampire’s point of view?
 * Marge: No.
 * Otto: Anything where guys send in naked pictures of their chicks?
 * Marge: Otto, I think you should get a job.
 * Otto: The only job I was good at was driving a bus, and now "the man" says I need a piece of paper to do that.

(Otto starts playing guitar loudly.)
 * Homer: Will you knock it off!? I can't hear myself think.

(Otto stops.)
 * Homer's Head: I want some peanuts.
 * Homer: That's better.


 * Patty: Hello, my name is Patty. I will be testing you. When you are doing well I use the green pen. When you are doing poorly I use the red pen. Any questions?
 * Otto: You were a man once, were you not? You can tell me, I am open minded.
 * Patty drops green pen.
 * Patty: I will not be needing this.


 * Homer: Of course I'm not mad. If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing!


 * Homer: All right, he can stay. But I get to treat him like garbage.
 * Otto: Wow! What's the catch?


 * Bart: Mom, I thought you might forget our little conversation this afternoon, so I took the precaution of recording it.
 * Marge: What conversation?
 * Bart: (on tape) Mom, can Otto live in our garage for as long as he wants? (impression of Marge) He sure can!
 * Homer: Marge! What were you thinking?
 * Marge: That's not my voice!
 * Homer: Oh, everybody says that when they hear themselves on tape.


 * Marge: I know we did not ask for this Homer, but does not the Bible say "Whatsoever you do unto the least of my children, that which you do unto Me?"
 * Homer: I think it also says "Thou shalt not...take moochers into thy hut."


 * Skinner: It's a miracle nobody was hurt.
 * Otto: I stand on my record. Fifteen crashes and not a single fatality