That '90s Show/Quotes

Lisa: Mom! I didn't know you went to college!

Bart: Yeah, you always said that after high school, Dad "blessed" you with the unplanned miracle of me!

Marge: Hey, parents are allowed to keep some secrets.

Homer: Yeah, like which kid's their favorite. (whispering) It's Lisa.

Young Comic Book Guy: And that is why The Lord of the Rings can never be filmed!

(Moe is trying stealing a man's watch, but the man sees him.)

Moe: Oh, I wasn't trying to steal your watch. I--I--I was just coming on to you.

Man at Bar: Okay, let's go back to my place.

Moe: Oh, boy.

(The Simpsons are all huddled up near the fireplace.)

Marge: We wouldn't be in this trouble if you just paid the heating bill!

Homer: I thought global warming would take care of it it. Al Gore can't do anything right.

Homer: You applied to college? Why didn't you tell me?

Marge: I did tell you.

Homer: I thought you were telling me you wanted to apply yourself to making a collage! And as I recall, I was against it.

Homer: (narrating) I had finally realized every rock star's dream. Hating being famous.

Marge: Did you know that every U.S. president has been a straight white man?

Homer: Even Walt Disney?

Homer: He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life.

Homer: You know, these Ikea foam futons do velcro together. ..

Marge: I'm sorry, I don't want to do that yet. I want to wait until I'm married, or at least really drunk.

Marge: (gasps as she bursts into Homer's mansion) Oh, my god, you're a junkie!

Homer: (moaning) I need it...

Marge: I'm getting you off this stuff!

Homer: But I need it!

Marge: No, you don't!

(Back to the present)

Marge: Unfortunately, as I later learned, that wasn't heroin. It was insulin. Homer really did need those injections.

Homer: I had become diabetic from drinking too many Frappuccinos.

Marge: There is a part of our past that we haven't told you kids about. A turbulent part.

Bart: Come on. More turbulent than now?

Lisa: We're in every kind of therapy!

Homer: Things happened between your mother and me that we're not proud of. It was the middle of a wild decade known as the 1990's.

Bart: The '90s? Never heard of it.