Donnie Fatso/Transcript

New Year's Day

Bart Simpson: I don't even wanna smell sparkling apple juice again.

Lisa Simpson: Aw, poor baby. Come on, Bart. Afraid of a little apple juice?

Bart Simpson: Pig in a blanket!

Lisa Simpson: Dad's underwear!

Bart Simpson: Aunt Selma's leg!

Selma Bouvier: I hate new year's eve. I can't believe I made out with Ryan Seacrest on the TV screen.

Bart Simpson: Let's just take it easy. We all make mistakes on new year's eve. There's only one upsideout for today.

Homer Simpson: Come on, just one more drink Marge.

Bart & Lisa Simpson: Happy new year!

Homer Simpson: D'oh!

Marge Simpson: Everyone, shush!

Lisa Simpson: Why are you hangover? I didn't see you drink last night.

Marge Simpson: I didn't. I got second hand wasted from smooching your father. So not a peep out of anyone tell the fiesta ball.

Bart Simpson: That's not for five hours!

Marge Simpson: I know when the freakin' fiesta ball is!

Homer Simpson: Really, relax. Let's just watch some TV.

Guy in the TV: New year's eve might be over in America. But we're still rockin' hard in Samoa. Then here comes the blue angel bringing the shrilling wha-wha birds.

Clancy Wiggum: Well, well. Simpson, You've commited Springfield's first crime of the new year. Write 'em up Lou.

Homer Simpson: Huh? What did I do?

Clancy Wiggum: Failed to separate your bottles and newspapers.

Homer Simpson: Fifty bucks? It was just covered two public nudities and a poop in the park.