Jerk of All Trades

From 'The Homer Book'.

Homer Simpson's Rezoomay
Dear Potential Employer,

My current job as safety inspector at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant affords me lots of time to pursue other occupations. Here is a list of jobs I have held in the not too distant past. Most, if not all, ended neatly with no lasting consequences.

Sincerely, Homer J. Simpson
 * Capital City Capitals Baseball Team Mascot (Dancing Homer)
 * Shopping Mall Santa
 * Car Designer
 * Kwik-E-Mart Employee - Graveyard Shift
 * Olde Springfield Towne Guide (Candle Maker)
 * Slash-Co Knives Salesman
 * The Pitiless Pup Attack Dog School Dummy
 * Gulp 'N' Blow Employee
 * Astronaut
 * Manager of country music singer Lurleen Lumpkin
 * Snow Plow owner/operator Mr. Plow
 * Monorail Conductor
 * Power Plant Union Representative
 * "The Be-Sharps" Barbershop Quartet Member
 * Student (Springfield University)
 * Blackjack Dealer
 * Personal Assistan to C. Montgomery Burns
 * Adult Education Teacher
 * Sugar Salesman
 * Barney's Bowl-O-Rama Employee
 * Krusty the Clown Impersonator
 * Electronic Solicitor (Via Telephone Autodialer)
 * Town Crier in Springfield Parade
 * Voice-over Artist (Poochie)
 * Alcohol Bootlegger ("Beer Baron")
 * Peewee Football Coach
 * Carny
 * Internet Entrepreneur
 * Navy Reservist
 * FBI Informant
 * Springfield Sanitation Commissioner
 * Grease Waste Salesman
 * Inventor
 * Assistant to Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger
 * Curator of the Museum of Hollywood Jerks
 * Bodyguard to the Mayor of Springfield
 * Trucker
 * Consultant on Remake of "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington"
 * Pop Artist
 * Fish Gutter
 * Food Critic
 * Tomacco Farmer
 * Horse Trainer (Furious D.)
 * Missionary
 * Diner Employee
 * Prank Monkey
 * Tonic Salesman
 * Grifter
 * Chirporactor
 * Daycare Center Owner
 * Bar Owner
 * Fortune Cookie Fortune Writer
 * Sugar Bootlegger
 * Oil Field Worker
 * Roadie
 * CEO of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant
 * Panhandler
 * Hullabalooza Freak Show Performer
 * Globex Corporation Employee
 * Head of Security for Springfield
 * Boxer
 * Limousine Driver