Anchormom

Anchormom is a comic in Simpsons Comics 103 and The Best of the Simpsons 58.

Plot
At the Channel 6 news studio, Kent Brockman is angry that the weather girl is quitting. He then gets all the weather information off the Weather Girls home page. Later, Kent does the weather and states on live TV that its going to rain men; and sings the lyrics to the Weather Girls' "It's Raining Men". Outside the Simpson house, Selma, Mrs. Krabappel and John (from Homer's Phobia) glaze into the sky looking for men falling, while John looks for man clouds. Marge then exclaims that she doesn't need the weather to tell her if its going to rain; her hair's wilting, the birds flying low and Grampa's trick knee is acting up. While the rain pours outside, Bart and Lisa head to go out. Marge then hands both of them Strawberry Shortbread umbrellas. Bart then gives his to Hans Moleman, as he thinks Strawberry Shortbread is a girl's character. The strong wind lifts Moleman up, and down into Selma's arms, who offers to take him home. Upstairs, Maggie starts crying. Apparently, Homer is eating a jerk chicken in the closet, which he bought in Jamaica, where he went last week. The Next day, Principal Skinner is making a speech for Sports Day. Bart, Milhouse, Martin, Jimbo, Sherri, Terri and Nelson are competing in the sack race; Lisa, Rod, Todd, Ralph and Jessica are competing in the tug of peaceful co-existence and Lewis, Uter, Kearney, Jimbo and Dolph are competing in the egg and spoon race. After all the events, Kent Brockman introduces an advert from Krusty Burger. Krusty then makes that people try the new high-fibre Krusty Burger; and says that all Krusty restrooms have pay toilets, while Gil and Bumblebee Man hurry through their wallets for coins. Kent then reutrns with the weather saying it should be sunny and warm, which Marge interrupts saying the right weather: rain. As the rain pours down, Kent asks if Marge wants to be the new weather girl. Marge agrees to this and addresses the weather for today. After the news, the Squeaky Voiced Teen hands Kent the ratings. At home, Marge hears Maggie cry again, which is actually Homer screaming at the TV, where Kent Brockman is asking the question "Can pork chops hurt you?". Marge then walks to the studios in anger, while she escorts Homer to the kitchen table which lies his dinner: Pork Chops. Marge returns to the studios stating that Kent is saying the questions to scare people into watching. Kirk Van Houten then enters and introduces him to Marge, as the person who writes the headlines. He then shows Marge the network's nightly terror rainbow, which is currently standing at "Be Careful". The Next Night, Kent then asks the question "Is Cuba planning an invasion of Springfield?", which Marge enters showing the phone which stands Fidel Castro on the line, a sailer from Cuba. After the news, Kent threatens to fire Marge, which then the Squeaky Voiced Teen shows the ratings, which have improved. As a complement, Channel 6 makes Marge co-anchor of the news. In the next room, Homer has a plate of pork chops. The next day, Kent says that Apu was shot (again) during an afternoon robbery. Marge asks why he always starts with the violent news and hands over a faxed new story about kittens singing. Later, Bart and Milhouse visit their parents, where Marge asks why they're not at school. Bart explains that Willie was using the school boiler as a still and it exploded, so they got the day off. Marge then introduces to them her new friend, Rhoda. Kent enters telling that there's no-one to do the weather. Bart and Milhouse volenteer in which Kirk can get their dog, Scruffy, out of the pawn shop. In the next show, Marge recaps the top story saying the baby panda who got lost in China found its mother. She then introduces Bart and Milhouse, the new weather team, which is called by Bart "Bart and the gang". He then says the wrong weather, just to play a prank on Skinner, Agnes, and Superintendent Chalmers. At the next newscast, Bart playing another prank saying that Edna Krabappel turns 100 today. The police arrive at the school arresting Krabappel for failure to adhere to madatory retirement-age law. Shortly, all the residents at the Springfield Retirement Castle flirt over her, while she says that she will get revenge on Bart for doing this. Back at the Channel 6 studios, Marge addresses the next news story: a dog who plants tree. Meanwhile, over at the Motherloving Sugar Company, Garth Motherloving, Krusty the Clown and Little Dolly attempt to get revenge on Marge for decreasing the sales of their sugar; which they do by putting signs all over Springfield, which read a question that terrorizes the residents of Springfield that Marge is a danger. When she returns home, Homer screams that "It's her!". While Homer hides behind the couch, an advert on TV says that is Marge Simpson to blame for millions of people dying each year. She phones the TV station, which they fire for being to scary. Bart and Lisa find out that the line "The Answer Surprise You" which was in the advert is Kirk Van Houten's line, which he confesses, as he was hired by the National League of Comfort Food. Bart and Lisa go there, which they attempt to put up an advert about Homer on the couch asleep eating their food, which they attempt to put two up for every ad they see about Marge. Later, Kent then welcomes back Marge on the news, which she refuses, because she needs to spend time with the Simpson family, and says that viewers should hug the person next to if people are still scared of her. So, Lisa and Maggie hug Bart, Grampa hugs Mrs. Krabappel (who is trying to get her birth certificate so she can get out of the retirement centre) and Comic Book Guy hugs the pizza delivery man. Later Marge explains to Bart that he is fired for playing a prank on the news, and give Bart a severance package on their behalf, and umbrella which has Marge's head on, which makes Bart to guilty to misbehave.