Love Is a Many Splintered Thing/Quotes


 * Bart: Everything I know about women can be summed up by a jump-rope rhyme: "Girls go to Mars to buy candy bars, boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider." Except I didn't have to go to Jupiter to get stupider.


 * Bart: And then I ran right home to you.
 * Milhouse: You did everything great, Bart. Then you told me all about it like a true gentleman. I can't wait to use your moves on Lisa.
 * Lisa: Ew! On every level, ew! Bart, you have to treat girls like they matter, not like they're a bunch of Milhice. What? It's the plural of Milhouse. Look it up.
 * Homer: Listen to your sister, boy.
 * Lisa: What I'm saying applies to you, too, Dad.
 * Homer: What are you talkin' about? Marge and I are goin' great.
 * Marge: Homer Simpson! Did you take Maggie to Moe's?
 * Homer: It was during Happy Hour. Don't you want our baby to be happy?


 * Mary Spuckler: Bart Simpson, you get out of that gosh-darned fugue state this instant. Lift my spirits!
 * Bart: Um... lifting people's spirits is an interesting topic. For centuries, Neanderthal and astronaut alike have enjoyed lifting spirits.
 * Mary Spuckler: You're givin' me book report talk.


 * Mary Spuckler: Bart, you're a good duck, but we wouldn't last.
 * Bart: But I'm the main guy in this story. Things are supposed to work out for me.
 * Brazilian record producer's son: Everyone is the main guy in their own story. My friend, welcome to my story.


 * Woody Allen: Well done, Bart. You played that like a combination of Willie Mays and Paul Cézanne.
 * Bart: Who are you?
 * Woody Allen: I... you know, I-I played the ant in Antz, the lesser known of the ant movies.
 * Bart: Oh, yeah.