The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace/Quotes


 * Homer: They won't let me in the big people library downtown. There was some...unpleasantness. I can never go back.




 * Marge: I brought you a tuna sandwich. They say it's brain food. I guess because there's so much dolphin in it, and you know how smart they are.




 * (Bart, visiting Homer in the basement)
 * Bart: Hey Dad, heard you swearin'. Mind if I join in? Crap, boobs, crap!




 * (Kent Brockman, delivering his nightly broadcast)
 * Kent: Authorities say the phony Pope can be recognized by his high-top sneakers and incredibly foul mouth.




 * Homer: Marge, that's it! That's why I haven't done anything with my life! I need to be more like Thomas Edison!
 * Marge: Whatever.
 * Homer: And I'm starting right now! No more damn pajamas!
 * (Homer gets out of bed, takes off his pajamas, and throws them out the window. Homer stands naked, calling out)
 * Homer: From this day forward, I am an inventor!
 * (A man walking his dog calls up to Homer)
 * Man: Do us a favor. Invent yourself some underpants.




 * (Homer sits at a card table in the basement, smoking a cigar, trying to think of inventions)
 * Lisa: You started smoking, Dad?
 * Homer: Yes, Thomas Edison smoked several cigars a day.
 * (Bart holds up Homer's empty notepad)
 * Bart: Yeah, he invented stuff, too.
 * Homer: Shut up.