Homer's Paternity Coot

"Homer's Paternity Coot" is the tenth episode of The Simpsons '  seventeenth season. It first aired on January 8, 2006. It was the first episode of the year.

Synopsis
After Marge and Lisa see a commercial for a store that sells damaged items from fires for cheap prices, they set off immediately. However, when they're on the highway, they see that there's a new toll booth that charges seventy-five cents. Not wanting to pay, Marge takes a backroad. Other drivers see her doing it and follow her. Mayor Quimby is angry that no one is using the toll booth and blocks off the backroad. The next week, Marge is back driving and sees that she now cannot avoid the toll. Also, she can't back up because of tire spikes on the road. When she finally gets to the booth, she refuses to pay and backs up. The bumper backs into the car behind her, and soon, everyone's tires run into the spikes. The damaged tires are taken to the Springfield Tire Fire, and the smoke travels to Mount Springfield, causing some snow to melt. On the news, it is revealed that a frozen mailman from 1966 was trapped in the mountain for forty years. The old mail is delivered, including one for Mona Simpson, Homer's mother. It is from her old lifeguard boyfriend, whose name begins with an M, who writes that if Mona replies to the letter, she has chosen him, and if she doesn't, she is choosing to stick with Abe. But he also writes that "in his heart he'll know that the baby in her belly is his."

Homer goes to the library to find his supposed father by looking in "Lifeguards of Springfield in the Twentieth Century." The only person in there whose name begins with M is Mason Fairbanks. Homer goes to his relatively large house pretending to be a reporter. He tells him that he's interviewing people who wear sweaters, and he is let inside. Mason shows him around his home, and he even shows him his ship, The Son I Never Knew. Homer eventually tells him that he thinks that he is his father, and Mason is delighted. He takes Homer and the rest of the family (excluding Grampa) on a ride on his ship and tells them the story of a lost emerald treasure. The family is impressed with him, but when they come home, Grampa is angry that Homer would even think that Mason could be his real father. They decide to have a DNA test, and after a suspenseful wait, it is revealed that Homer's real father is Mason Fairbanks.

While Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie are having an awkward, uneventful visit with Grampa, Mason and Homer are underwater (which is terribly polluted by nuclear waste) in their own individual submarines looking for the lost treasure. Homer gets separated from Mason, and he follows a small light that he thinks is him. It is actually a glowing fish, but it's too late, because Homer gets stuck in some coral. His oxygen begins to run out, and he starts to see flashbacks including him and Abe. When his last bit of oxygen runs out, the last thing he sees is Mason heading towards him. When he wakes up, he's in the hospital, and Bart tells him that he's been in a coma for three days. When they all leave, Grampa comes in the room and tells Homer that he switched the labels on the DNA samples, and that he wanted Homer to be happy. They share an emotional moment, and it is official: Abe is Homer's real father. The episode ends with Mason teaching Homer not to touch the stove.

Trivia

 * This episode's name was unknown for a while when Season 17 was being aired.
 * This is the second episode of Season 17 that has a full title sequence.
 * It's revealed that Jasper's last name is Beardly, there is a Jebediah Springfield IV alive, and Marge was born in February.
 * The couch gag goes as follows: 2006—the Simpsons are sitting on the couch; 2007—the family is one year older; 2008—Homer is absent and Marge is wearing a black dress; 2009—Lenny is in Homer's place; 2010—Carl is in Marge's place; 2011- Marge is back and Jimbo takes Homer's place. 2012—Homer is back and has become a robot; 2013—the entire family has become robots.
 * This episode confirms that Grampa Simpson is Homer's biological father, something the entire series before this had actually taken for granted.
 * This being the 366th episode, one episode can be shown per day in leap years with no repeats.
 * Grampa calls Mason Fairbanks Horatio Homewrecker which is a reference to the classic fictional British Naval Hero Horatio Hornblower.
 * "Piso mojado" ("The famed emeralds of Piso Mojado") is Spanish for "wet floor."

Cultural References

 * The episode references the film The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou in that Homer thinks he found his biological father. In The Life Aquatic Ned Zissou experiences the same. Also the episode references the underwater exploration team that is in the film.

Goofs

 * When Dr. Hibbert says "Homer's Biological Father is Mason Fairbanks", Mason stands up with a Blue Coat on and Black Jeans. Then Homer says "Who's Mason Fairbanks" and Dr. Hibbert points to Mason with his usual dress on.

Quotes

 * Commercial: How often have you driven by a fire and thought 'How can this benefit me?'
 * Homer: To hell with that paternity test and its 99.99997% accuracy!
 * Sideshow Mel: (after his tires are ripped) My tires have been severely damaged! The prophecy has been fulfilled! (pointing to sign that reads "Do Not Back Up - Severe Tire Damage")
 * Sign: Springfield Tire Fire. Now smelled in 46 states.
 * Quimby: People aren't taking the tollbooth! We need those seventy-five centses to de-python the town fountain! Get them through that tollbooth by any means necessary! Wiggum: Gotcha. No survivors. (gets out a shotgun and cocks it) Quimby: No Shooting. Wiggum: But it's already cocked. Quimby: Okay. Shoot into the fireplace. (Wiggum does so and laughs)
 * Marge: Let's go there before the next commercial tells me to do something else.
 * Homer: Who could my father be? Moleman? Mr. Burns? (gasps) M. Night Shyamalan? That would be a twist worthy of his increasingly lousy films! audio clip
 * Ralph: (with a tuba on his head) I'm C3-D2!
 * Homer: (Looking around Mason's study, which is decorated with various adventurer's items) So, I infer from all the knickknacks you're some sort of..fruitcake?
 * Homer: I'm sure my listeners will be pleased about that. Mason: Listeners? Didn't you say you work for a newspaper? Homer: Uh, no I didn't. I says I work for a radio station. WXI 940. Number one with our viewers. Mason: Viewers? Wouldn't that be a TV show? Homer: Uh, well, um, oh what the hey. I think you're my pappy! Mason: Ga-whaaa?!
 * Moe: Sitting in a rocking chair, eating baby crackers ticktock, ticktock, ticktock banana A-B-C-D-E-F-G wash those june bugs off of me.
 * Marge: Lisa, I'm not sure that letter is age-appropriate reading. Why can't the government edit our mail like other countries?
 * Reverend Lovejoy (heading for the toll booth) Don't worry, this one's on Jesus. (He takes out the church collection plate which is full of coins. The Jesus figurine on his dashboard looks as if it's about to cry) Lovejoy: Oh, be cool for once.
 * (Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie are at the retirement home visiting Grandpa) Marge: See, Grandpa, you still have a family. We still visit you. Grandpa: So, Homer couldn't make it? Lisa: No, but he told us to say hi. Hi! (long pause) Lisa: So...what setting is that fan on? (pause) Grandpa: Medium. (pause) Lisa: I would've guessed low. (pause) Grandpa: You would've guessed wrong.

Broadcasting Information
USA/Canada UK Australia
 * 1st Airdate: Sunday, January 8, 2006
 * 2nd Airdate: Sunday, April 30, 2006
 * 3rd Airdate: Sunday, July 2, 2006
 * 1st Airdate: Sunday, February 12, 2006
 * 2nd Airdate: Friday, February 17, 2006 (Encore Screening)
 * 3rd Airdate: Friday, April 21, 2006
 * 4th Airdate: Sunday, June 18, 2006
 * 5th Airdate: Sunday, August 6, 2006
 * 6th Airdate: Friday, August 25, 2006
 * 1st Airdate: Tuesday, June 13, 2006