Simpsons Tall Tales/Quotes


 * Hobo: Well, I 'spose I could spin you a few more yarns, but first, who wants to give me a sponge bath. I'm filthy!
 * Homer: All right, but your next story better be good.
 * Hobo: Now, get in there... don't be shy.


 * Hobo: Mornin, folks!
 * Homer: What are you gonna do to us?
 * Hobo: Now don't worry, I'm not a stabbin' hobo, I'm a singin' hobo! (singing) Nothing beats the hobo life! Stabbin' folks with my hobo knife!


 * Homer: Oh, I get it. When I'm crushing and killing you, you don't like me. But when I can save your lives, suddenly I'm Mr. Popular.
 * Lenny: Yeah, that's pretty much it.
 * Homer: Woo hoo! I'm Mr. Popular!


 * Homer: (singing) Cleaning my gun with the safety off, safety off, safety off. Cleaning my gun with the--Whoopsie.
 * (Homer shoots a buffalo.)
 * Lisa: Dad, you just killed a poor defenseless buffalo.
 * Homer: A poor delicious buffalo. He'll be dinner for the whole wagon train.
 * (Homer shoots another buffalo.)
 * Lisa: Why'd you kill another one?
 * Homer: Dessert.


 * Moe: Look, we gotta do something about Bunyan. We're goin' broke just feedin' and clothin' the guy.
 * Carl: Hey! I say we get him drunk and drag him out of town, the same way we got out Laura Ingalls Wilder.