A Star is Torn/Quotes


 * Bart: From now on, I'm only eating food that I know had a soul.


 * Homer: He's about to learn the most important lesson in the music business: don't trust people in the music business.


 * Homer [to Lisa]: Do you know how many hours I had to work? How many people I had to yell at? How many tires I had to slash?
 * Lisa: No one told you to yell and slash!
 * Homer: It's called schmoozing!


 * Homer: We're going to write and sing our way out of this God-forsaken hell hole.
 * Marge: But your song said you liked Springfield?
 * Homer: I wrote it about Shelbyville, then changed the names.


 * Homer [to Lisa]: The song I wrote for you is so schmaltzy it makes "Moon River" sound like a farting orangutan.


 * (While Apu is being robbed)
 * Apu: Call the police.
 * Homer: I need change for a dollar.
 * Apu: No change without purchase.
 * Homer: What's the cheapest thing you've got.
 * Apu: A 2-ounce pack of chips. $5.99.
 * Homer: $5.99, what a rip-off! Someone should shoot you.


 * Krusty: Every week, we eliminate one contestant based on the votes cast by you, the audience.
 * TV Announcer: Disclaimer: All ballots were lost and vote totals made up.


 * Lil' Starmaker Commercial Announcer: We're not affiliated with American Idol. We've never even heard of American Idol.


 * Lisa: That's Cameron. Girls go crazy over him. He's cute, unthreatening, and his smile brought a puppy back to life.