The Heartbroke Kid/Quotes


 * Homer: Little kids aren't supposed to have heart attacks! They're supposed to skin their knees, or poke their eyes out, or get smothered by cats!


 * Marge: Homer, maybe you could ask Mr. Burns for a raise.
 * Homer: Even better, I'll ask him for my job back!


 * Superintendent Chalmers: It's not my birthday, Seymour. You know I'm a Sagittarius.
 * Principal Skinner: Really? I'm a Libra. There's a lot of compatibility there.
 * Superintendent Chalmers: Skinner, be gay on your own time.


 * [After Bart collapses from his heart attack]
 * Homer: Do the Bart Man! Do the Bart Man! (Bart groans) Why won't you dance? Dance!


 * Dr. Hibbert: Now when Bart goes home, he's going to have to follow a program of strict diet and exercise. Dammit, I will not bury another patient!
 * Marge: Doctor, you're a pediatrician!
 * Dr. Hibbert: Yeah, but my head's been somewhere else this year.


 * Spangler [to Homer]: Mr. Simpson, you're suffering from PSI. Poor self esteem. That's not I! (yelling) Every sign is wrong!


 * Spangler [to Bart]: Come on, let’s look for your dad. And if we have some time, maybe we'll look for mine.


 * Kent Brockman: Kent Brockman, Channel 6 News. I gorge on kettle corn during the sports and weather.
 * Spangler: We know. Your side fat's starting to spill over to channel 5 and 7. I hope you're getting 3 paychecks.


 * Spangler [to Bart]: Son, I'm gonna tell you a story about a young man who came here and failed. Well, that is the story. I shouldn't call a sentence a story. Anyway, it's you!


 * Homer: Marge, can you cut back on your makeup budget?
 * Marge: But I already use crayons for lipstick and fireplace soot for eyeliner.
 * Homer: So that's where my soot went.


 * Spangler [to Bart]: Young man, there's something I have to show you. In one hour. We have to drive there. No talking along the way, it'll hurt the drama.
 * Bart: Can I just...
 * Spangler: Shh, drama!


 * Spangler [to the Simpsons]: Folks, you have three weeks left on a non-refundable weight loss treatment, so if anybody else in the family wants to use it, use it now.
 * Homer: But who else needs to lose weight? Maggie, Grampa, my seldom seen half brother, Herb? [the rest of the family looks at him] What are you all looking at me for?


 * Bart: I've learnt that even made up corporate shills can lie to you.
 * Homer [holds a stuffed fox animal]: Did you hear that, Foxy, the Fox Network fox?


 * Spangler [to Homer]: What are you eating now?
 * Homer: Cheeseburger.
 * Spangler: You're a catastrophe. Let me have half of it.
 * Homer: I don't wanna.
 * Spangler: I just want the cheese, I don't want the meat. I do want the meat.
 * Homer: Here's a corner.
 * Spangler: Let me just bite it, don't rip it! Let me have the whole thing, you'll get some later.
 * Homer: You're a selfish jerk.
 * Spangler: I've smelled it, it has to be eaten!
 * Homer: But it's my burger!
 * Spangler: I'm driving. I'll kill us!
 * Homer: Fine, I'd rather die!