The Homer of Seville/Quotes

Dr. Hibbert: Homer, you have a mild back sprain. And you also ingested a dangerous quantity of grave dirt.

Homer: Well, you're always telling me I should eat more dirt.

Dr. Hibbert: Not dirt, vegetables!

Homer: Which grow in what?

(Placido Domingo towel snaps Homer in the locker room after a performance.)

Placido Domingo: Nice set, Homer. That was a hot one.

Homer: Wow, praise from Placido Domingo.

Placido Domingo: Just call me P-Dingo.

Homer: Ehh, I'll think about it.

Mr. Burns: My boy, you are a star.

Homer: Woo-hoo!

Mr. Burns: An opera star.

Homer: (disappointed) Oh.

(Homer warms up his voice before a performance.)

Homer: (singing) D'oh, d'oh, d'oh, d'oh, d'oh, d'oh, d'oh, d'oh. Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo-hoo. Stu, stu, stu, stu-pid Flanders.

(Ned Flanders peeks in the dressing room.)

Ned Flanders: Why the crescendo, my dear, old friend-o?

Homer: (singing) Get lost, you waste of a mustache.

Ned Flanders: Okily-dokily.

(In the dressing room after Homer's first performance.)

Bart: Dad, you were great!

Lisa: And you contributed to our culture!

Homer (worried) Well, I didn't mean to.

Lisa: No, no. It's a good thing.

Homer: (relieved) Oh, good. This makes up for me showing up drunk to the father-daughter dance.

Lisa: The dance isn't till next week.

Homer: Sorry, Lisa. Can't change the future.

(Mr. Burns and Smithers visit the morgue.)

Mr. Burns: Ah, nothing lifts my spirits like shopping. Let's see, (points) I'll take his liver, a case of Adam's apples, (points) that motorcycle man's mustache.

Smithers: Oh, the money you've contributed to anti-helmet laws has really paid off, sir.

Mr. Burns: Well, young people are my future.

(Homer and Marge enjoy the buffet at a wake.)

Marge: Oh Homer, you gotta try this roast beef au jus.

(Homer takes a bite.)

Homer: Mmm! Au jus! Not quite gravy, not quite blood.

Homer: (to Julia) So, did you see the show tonight? Remember the part where I forgot the words and I just sang "Uh-oh Spaghetti-os"? I'm hoping they send me a case.

Homer: That church service was so boring! I did a whole book of find-a-words.

Lisa: Dad, all you circled were the I's and A's.

Homer: Those are words.

Marge: Homer, we're trapped! Your fans will rip us to pieces!

Homer: Not me. They love me.