Lisa's Substitute/Quotes


 * Miss Hoover: He didn't touch my lesson plan. What did he teach you?
 * Lisa: That life is worth living.


 * Miss Hoover: You see, class, my Lyme Disease turned out to be (Spells on blackboard) psychosomatic.
 * Ralph: Does that mean you're crazy?
 * Janey: No, that means she was faking it.
 * Miss Hoover: No, actually, it was a little of both.

(Bart shows the whole classroom the tape for his project called, "How Kittens Are Born: The Ugly Truth")
 * Bart: …and here comes Snowball II. This is the one we kept.
 * All: EWW!!
 * Bart: We were gonna keep the gray one, but the mother ate her.
 * All: EWWWWW!!
 * Martin: Mrs. Krabappel, he's traumatizing the children!
 * Mrs. Krabappel: As usual, I agree with you, Martin. Bart, shut that off and take your seat immediately!
 * Bart: Oh, look! This is really cool. When I hit reverse, I can make 'em go back in.

(The whole classroom screams)


 * Homer: Lisa, don't hold anything back, you can tell me. Are you crying 'cause you called daddy a baboon?
 * Lisa: No!
 * Homer: Nuts.


 * Lisa: You, sir, are a baboon!
 * Homer: (gasp) Me?
 * Lisa: Yes, you! Baboon! Baboon! Baboon! Baboon!
 * Homer: I don't think you realize what you're saying…
 * Lisa: BABOON!