Ned Flanders

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Nedward "Ned" Flanders, Jr. is The Simpsons family's next door neighbour. He is, like the rest of the Flanders family, very religous and a devout Christian.

Growing Up
Ned was raised by two nihilistic beatniks (Mona Flanders & Nedward Flanders Sr.) whose terrible parenting skills made him a childhood terror. He was eventually put on an experimental eight-month spanking therapy program (the University of Minnesota Spankological Protocol) which taught him to suppress all feelings of anger.

Jobs
He first worked as a pharmacist and opened a store in the mall called The Leftorium, which specializes in products for left-handed people.

Appearance
Despite an outward appearance of exceeding meekness, Ned has an exceptionally well-built physique under his sweater. This is even more impressive upon considering that Ned is actually a very young-looking senior citizen at the age of 60

Religious Beliefs
Despite his firm religious beliefs, Ned is quite timid and often insecure. He is obsessed with following the Bible as literally as possible, "even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff" and is easily shocked when someone challenges his beliefs. This leads to his frequent calls to Reverend Lovejoy ("I... I think I'm coveting my own wife!") who gets increasingly frustrated with Flanders ("Ned, have you tried any of the other major religions? They're pretty much the same"). His sons are very sheltered and raised in an extremely strict climate of Christian morality. Most entertainment enjoyed by the family involves religion in some way. For instance, the family has at least five different Trivial Pursuit sets relating to different versions of the Bible."He is a real Christian. He stinks!" said Homer Also, all of the family's board games contain no dice, as Ned believes that dice are "wicked". Rod says that they just move one space at a time, as it is "less fun that way".

Relatives
There was a relative of Flanders who served in World War II. He was a superior to Sgt. Abe Simpson. (Note: When Abe threatened to report Pvt. Burns to Flanders, Abe indicates that his rank was commander, which isn't a rank in the United States army)

The Flanders Clan has members around the globe, who convened at the Flanders Family Reunion BBQ. Relatives included Jose Flanders ("Buenos ding-dong-diddly dias, señor") and Lord Thistlewick Flanders ("Charmed...[and when promted by Ned]...a-googily-doogily").

Ned has a sister that has been mentioned but never seen. In episode 7F23 "When Flanders Failed", Ned and family plan on moving in with his sister in Capital City after the loss of their home and business in Springfield.

Name origin
Inspired by the character, Brianists use the term "Ned" to refer to Christians in general and Protestants in particular. A "Head Ned" is a pastor or priest. "Flanders" is the name of a street in Portland, Oregon. Groening named It can be presumed the street owes its name to the Flanders region in Belgium.

Personality
Ned is a genuinely well-meaning and good-natured person, one of the few in Springfield who can make that claim. Though firmly religious, he can be timid and something of a pushover. He is also often insecure. He is obsessed with following the Bible as literally as possible and is easily shocked when challenged on any point of dogma. This has led to his frequent calls to Reverend Lovejoy ("I... I think I'm coveting my own wife!"), who has become increasingly frustrated with Flanders and passive-aggressively avenges himself by encouraging his Olde English Sheepdog to defecate on Ned's lawn.

Future
At age 80, Ned got laser eye surgery. At age 82, he lives with his sons, Rod and Todd, who are cross dressers. At age 90, his eyes fell out from his laser eye surgery.

Appearance
Despite a meek outward appearance, Ned hides an exceptionally well-built physique under his pink shirt and green sweater combination. When he is revealed to be in his early 60s in "Viva Ned Flanders" Ned claims his deceptively youthful appearance is due to his conformity to the "Three Cs": "Clean living, Chewing thoroughly, and a daily dose of vitamin Church!" This age would seem to be contradicted in the episode "Hurricane Neddy", where it's revealed that he was in a mental hospital "30 years ago," and is shown a video in which he appears to be a child.

Both Ned and his family rarely refer to his moustache as such, preferring nicknames such as "Nose Neighbour," "Mr. Tickles," "The Soup Strainer," "The Cookie Duster," "The Pushbroom," and "Dr. Fuzzenstein." He once shaved it off, after Homer implied that people were mocking Ned's facial hair behind his back. Ned's moustache would also affect his decision to move to the fictional town of Humbleton, PA. After being hired at the town's Humble figurine manufacturing factory in "Home Away from Homer", Ned was ordered to shave his moustache, due to an unofficial ban on facial hair. Ned defiantly refused to shave his moustache for which he was labeled a troublemaker.

Speech patterns
Ned has the odd habit of attaching "diddly," "doodly" and other nonsensical phrases to his sentences. "Hi-diddly-ho, neighborino," is a common example. This is the result of sublimated anger caused by his upbringing, anger which has no other outlet.

His extreme prudishness makes him averse to saying "sex" aloud, even when there are no children in sight &mdash; he either spells it out or sheepishly calls it "doodily." Ned also uses the word "doodle," "flander-doodle" or "shrinky-dink" when referring to his penis. In the Simpsons Road Rage game, when you scroll over him, he says, "Ned Flanders at your ser-diddly-ervice!"

Religious beliefs Part 2
Flanders is a devout Christian. Ned's sons have been raised in a strict climate of Christian morality, to which they willingly conform. In one episode, it is revealed that they "don't believe in flu shots," much as their father considers insurance to be a "form of gambling" and dice games to be "wicked". Rod and Todd go to bed several hours before sunset and are not allowed to consume sugar.

Most of the entertainment enjoyed by the family involves religion in some way. For instance, the family uses at least five different versions of the Bible to play "Bombardment...of Bible Questions!" ("The bridal feast of Beth Chadruharazzeb!?"), and are part of a competitive bowling team called the Holy Rollers (their uniform consisting of a Franciscan Friar's robes). Ned seems to sense that he cannot completely shield his family from the vagaries of popular culture, but does his best to mitigate the effects; one of his children's stories concludes "...and Harry Potter and all his wizard friends went straight to Hell for practicing witchcraft." Though they have satellite TV, nearly all of the 230 channels are blocked out &mdash; likely for the best, as one episode of Itchy & Scratchy was enough to more or less permanently scar Rod and Todd. Todd used to watch "Davey and Goliath," but, finding the idea of talking dogs to be blasphemous, he has since stopped.

Ned is willing to fight for what he believes in. For example, he once attempted to forcibly baptise the Simpson children, using his portable baptisin' kit, after finding out that they had never undergone the ritual. In "The Father, The Son & The Holy Guest Star", Ned reminds himself to get his hand "re-blessed" after shaking a Catholic priest's hand (odd, considering he keeps a Latin Vulgate Bible in his home).

Despite occasional antipathy toward Judaism and Hinduism (he once compared worshipping Shiva to asking for help from Hawkman, and he fears that his children will grow up to become Jewish Hollywood producers), Ned is honest and sincere in carrying out the Christian doctrines of charity, kindness and compassion. He is frequently shown doing volunteer work, and is rigorously honest and upright, even going so far as to spend an entire day tracking down a Leftorium customer in order to give him the extra change that he had forgotten to hand over. Similarly, after winning football tickets by answering a radio trivia question, he immediately asked for the cash value so he could report it on his income taxes. He also is a good neighbor to the Simpsons, regularly offering his assistance &mdash; and then suffering the consequences often paid to those with good intentions.

Ned was cast as the Devil in "Treehouse of Horror IV" ("It's always the one you least expect!") and as "unquestioned Lord and Master of the world" (in a parallel universe) in "Treehouse of Horror V", in which he instituted Orwellian "Re-Neducation" facilities for those with impure thoughts culminating in frontal lobotomies. In other Halloween episodes he proclaimed his preference for "wanton carnality" as an early Pilgrim immigrant to the New World, only to be vetoed by Maude; been transformed into a werewolf; been murdered by Homer Simpson (who used the rise of a zombie horde as an excuse for killing him) (Homer Simpson: "He was a zombie?"&mdash; Homer didn't care if Ned was actually zombie or not), a clone of Homer Simpson, and an evil bus-gremlin whom he attempted to adopt. He has also been seen participating in the "Walk for the Cure to Homosexuality."

Relationships
Ned’s dogged friendship inspires the loyalty of others; when his Leftorium appeared on the verge of bankruptcy shortly after it opened, Homer arranged a Frank Capra-esque George Bailey-bailout with the help of many people in Springfield.

Romantic relationships
At some point before or after college, Ned met and married the equally meek and religious Maude. They had two children together; the sheltered and naïve Rod and Todd. Maude dies an untimely death in a freak accident involving a t-shirt cannon in the episode "Alone Again, Natura-Diddily", leaving Ned alone and grieving. He is technically still married to a woman named Ginger, whom he married on a drunken bender in Las Vegas in "Viva Ned Flanders". Ginger comes to live with Ned and his sons for a brief period following Maude's death in "Brawl in the Family", but she quickly grows tired of the Flanders' sickly-sweet personalities and flees. Also since Maude's death, Ned has been connected romantically with a beautiful Christian-rock singer, Rachel Jordan (voiced by Shawn Colvin), and a movie star, Sara Sloane (voiced by Marisa Tomei).

Friendship with Homer Simpson
In the early years of the show, Homer Simpson generally loathed Ned, because Ned's family, job, health and self-discipline are of higher quality than he could ever hope to attain himself. Marge Simpson's enduring fondness for him did not help the situation, either. Homer tells Ned to "shut your stupid face" on a regular basis, and has even prayed for his ruin and death &mdash; "I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another, until you just wish Flanders was dead." Ironically, in Homer Loves Flanders, Homer becomes Flanders' best friend, but becomes so annoying that Flanders starts to hate him, but eventually things go back to the way they were. As the show progressed, though, Homer and Ned's relationship was more thoroughly explored; they appear to be good friends, and Homer seems to genuinely care for Ned, despite still expressing (and often acting on) feelings of loathing. Examples of this include Homer comforting Ned following Maude's death (seconds after preparing to bash Ned's head in with a rock), and helping Ned build Praiseland Amusement Park. Despite their friendship, Homer wrote the song "Everybody Hates Ned Flanders", and even sang and produced it with David Byrnes.

Friendship with Bart Simpson
This was strongly portrayed in The Simpsons Movie, when Bart was starting to disown Homer after his maltreatment of his own son.

The Leftorium
In the third season episode "When Flanders Failed," it was revealed that Ned worked as a salesperson in the pharmaceuticals industry for the bulk of his adult life. Having saved much of his earnings, Flanders announced during a barbecue he was throwing for his family and friends that he had quit his job and planned to invest the family's life savings into a new business. After burning his necktie, he proclaimed his intent to open a store in the Springfield Mall called The Leftorium specializing in products for left-handed people: everything from left-handed can openers to an entirely left-handed car, of which only three were ever made. Many of the Leftorium's products are merely labeled as "left-handed," such as pens and nunchucks. He does not sell, however, left-handed eyelash curlers.

The Leftorium was originally shown on the second floor of the Springfield Mall, at the top of an escalator, but in the episode "Last Tap Dance in Springfield" it was shown to be on the first floor. The Leftorium faces stiff competition from Leftopolis and Left-Mart; however an unusually large proportion of Springfield's citizens are left-handed, including Bart Simpson, Principal Skinner, Mr. Burns, and Moe Szyslak.

Other jobs
Ned began an internet company called Flancrest Enterprises (which deals in religious hook-rugs) and founded a Bible-themed amusement park called Praiseland, in honor of his late wife. (That he would go to such lengths to fulfill her last wish is unsurprising, as Ned had previously exerted himself a great deal in order to avoid disappointing Maude &mdash; after accidentally killing Maude's prized ficus plant, he attempted to bury and secretly replace it rather than explain the situation). Ned also spent a stint as principal of Springfield Elementary School, replacing Seymour Skinner (Armen Tamzarian).

"The Adventures of Ned Flanders"
The Adventures of Ned Flanders was a short that appeared at the end of the episode The Front. Entitled Love that God, it highlights the Flanders' dedication to religion and perfect family niceness, yet again. Ned nearly scolds Rod and Todd, who are busy praying, after they refuse to get ready for church &mdash; only to be told that it is, in fact, a Saturday. Ned laughs at his mistake with a trademark "okelydokely!" According to commentary on 22 Short Films About Springfield, The Simpsons team wanted to do more "Adventures of Ned Flanders" shorts. Time limitations have prevented them from producing more.

Episode Appearances
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 * Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire
 * The Call of the Simpsons
 * The Telltale Head
 * Dancin' Homer
 * Dead Putting Society
 * Bart the Daredevil
 * Itchy & Scratchy & Marge
 * Bart Gets Hit by a Car
 * One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish
 * Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment
 * Bart's Dog Gets an F
 * Old Money
 * The War of the Simpsons
 * Homer Loves Flanders
 * Hurricane Neddy
 * Alone Again, Natura-Diddily
 * Midnight Towboy
 * The Simpsons Movie
 * Sex, Pies and Idiot Scrapes
 * Treehouse Of Horror XIII
 * Bart Has Two Mommies
 * Bart Of War

Video Game Appearances

 * The Simpsons: Hit and Run
 * The Simpsons Game