Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington/Quotes


 * Homer: Mmmmmm… promo. EEWWW!!! Fox!!!!


 * Channel 6 TV Announcer: You're watching Channel 6, Springfield's home for Krusty the Clown, now on 3 times a day. Because at Channel 6, we got nothin' else!


 * Marge: There has to be a solution that pleases everyone, from ducks and trees to you's and me's.


 * Professor John Frink: (pedalling a flying contraption in the air) If I stop pedalling, I'll die! But it still beats U.S. Air!


 * Grampa: (moving across the floor on a toliet) I've had this dream before.


 * Lisa: Krusty, I don't usually give advice to Republicans. But it would be nice to be on the winning side…for once.


 * Bart: Krusty, I thought you'd make a difference, that's why I voted for you!
 * Krusty: How could you vote? You're only 10!
 * Bart: This is not about me, or how many times I voted.


 * Krusty: I vow to reach out to the Latino community! (in Spanish) Voy a vomitar en la tomba de tu madre!
 * (the crowd gasps)
 * Bumblebee Man: Ay yi yi!
 * Krusty: What'd I say? What'd I say?
 * Bumblebee Man: You said you were going to vomit on their mothers' graves!
 * Krusty: Oh! So that's why my maid quit.


 * Krusty: I could even tell the FCC to take a hike. Look at this list of words they won't let me say on the air.(hands Bart a piece of paper)
 * Bart: Aww! All the good ones. Hmm, I never even heard of number nine.
 * Krusty: That's 2-ing 13 while she's 11-ing your 5.
 * Bart: Can I keep this?
 * Krusty: Sure, no 12 off my ass.


 * Homer: I guess there's only one way out of our problems: a murder-suicide pact.
 * Marge: How can you say that?
 * Homer: It's just an expression, Marge.


 * Krusty: Are you guys any good at covering up youthful and middle-aged indiscretions?
 * Mr. Burns: Are these indiscretions romantic, financial, or treasonous?
 * Krusty: Russian hooker. You tell me.


 * Kent Brockman: This is Kent Brockman, with a special live report from the headquarters of Krusty opponent John Armstrong. How can I prove we're live? Penis! Now here's the candidate.


 * Ralph [to Homer]: I'll give you a milk and 3 crayons for your house.
 * Cookie Kwan: It's a good deal. I advise you to take it.
 * Homer: Make it a chocolate milk and you got a deal.
 * Ralph: I'm walking away. [walks away]


 * Mr. Burns: Welcome, fellow Republicans. To start with the old business, Brother Hibbert will read a report on our efforts to rename everything after Ronald Reagan.
 * Dr. Hibbert: All Millard Fillmore schools are now Ronald Reagans, the Mississippi River is now the Mississippi Reagan...
 * Dracula: And my good friend Frankenstein is now Franken-reagan. Blah!
 * Mr. Burns: Excellent!