Selma's Choice

"Selma's Choice" is the 13th episode of The Simpsons' fourth season.

Synopsis
After Great Aunt Gladys dies, the Simpsons attend the funeral and subsequent reading of the will. On the video will, Great Aunt Gladys warns Patty and Selma not to die alone without a husband and children as she did. Selma starts to worry that her biological clock may be ticking, and decides to find a way to become pregnant. Selma tries video dating and eventually considers an anonymous sperm donor.

Meanwhile, Homer promises Bart and Lisa that they will go to Duff Gardens, a popular amusement park, but Homer becomes ill after eating a spoiled sandwich. Marge, in an effort to give Selma a chance to experience the responsibilities of motherhood, nominates her to take the two. Bart and Lisa wear Selma out at Duff Gardens. Lisa begins to hallucinate after drinking some "water" in an aquatic ride (at Selma's order) and Bart is detained by park security. After these negative experiences caring for Bart and Lisa for a day, Selma decides she can live without children, and adopts Jub-Jub, Gladys' iguana, instead.

Quotes
Lisa: After drinking tainted water "I am the Lizard Queen!"

Troy McClure: Hey, Lance Murdock, you just jumped sixteen blazing school buses. What are you going to do now? Lance Murdock: I'm going to... Duff... Gardens.

Groundskeeper Willie (watching at the video of Selma): Ough, back to the loch with you, Nessie

Surly: Hey, Surly only looks out for one guy...Surly! Selma: Oh, sorry Surly. Surly: Shut up.

Animatronic puppets in "The Little Land of Duff": Duff Beer for me! Duff Beer for you! I'll have a Duff, You have one too!

Homer (before passing out in the car): Duff... Gardens... HURRAH! (car horn)

Trivia

 * Seven Duffs: Sleazy, Queasy, Edgy, Surly, Tipsy, Remorseful, and Dizzy. Surly is the only one who speaks, and he appears again in Mommie Beerest.
 * Lisa's exclamation of 'I am the Lizard Queen!' and her subsequent trip is reference to 'Lizard King' Jim Morrison of the Doors, she also dances like him.
 * 'Ding Dong, the Witch is Dead' is from The Wizard of Oz.
 * The poem Aunt Gladys starts in her will is Robert Frost's The Road Not Taken.
 * Aunt Selma had four beer smoothies.
 * Marge and Homer are watching Yentl, they then watch the Erotic Adventures of Hercules.
 * The 'Duff beer for me, Duff beer for you' ride is reference to the 'It's a Small World After All' ride at Disneyland.

Characters

 * Captain Lance Murdock
 * Homer Simpson
 * Bart Simpson
 * Lisa Simpson
 * Marge Simpson
 * Maggie Simpson
 * Patty and Selma Bouvier
 * Gladys Bouvier
 * Jacqueline Bouvier
 * Lionel Hutz
 * Jub-Jub
 * Groundskeeper Willie
 * Princess Opal
 * Hans Moleman
 * Dolph Starbeam
 * Jimbo Jones
 * Kearney Zzyzwicz
 * Lou
 * Barney Gumble
 * Carl Carlson
 * The Seven Duffs

Locations

 * 742 Evergreen Terrace
 * Duff Gardens
 * The Buzzing Sign Diner
 * The Lucky Stiff Funeral Home