To Surveil With Love

"Now just follow a little formula called PB&J, peer at the monitor, be judgmental and jot it down. And one way to remember that is ABC, Always Be Considering PB&J, but the single most important rule is the four 'a's, Always Act According to ABC."

- Clancy Wiggum

"To Surveil With Love" is the twentieth episode of Season 21. It originally aired on May 2, 2010. The episode was written by Michael Nobori and directed by Lance Kramer. It guest guest stars Eddie Izzard as Queen Elizabeth II, Prince Charles, and Nigel Bakerbutcher.

Synopsis
When Homer leaves a gym bag with radioactive waste (planted there by Smithers) unattended in a train station, Springfield has surveillance cameras installed throughout the town. But when citizen video monitor scanner Ned abuses his ability to speak through the cameras' speakers, Homer uses the camera blind spot Bart discovers to the town's advantage. Lisa, having heard one too many dumb blonde jokes, dyes her hair brown.

Plot
Homer, Lenny, Carl and Barney are at Moe's Tavern, when Duffman (with female assistants) bursts in with free duff stuff, including beer cosies, a shirt that says 'Yo!', sassy seat cushions and flash drives. Then Duffman leaves for a date with his estranged daughter.

When Homer comes downstairs the next morning, he tells Bart to "guess which company had a giveaway at Moe's last night", but Bart refuses. Homer tells him to keep guessing, and then holds up Duff bling on his hands and teeth, which says Drink Duff Responsibly. He then asks Bart what it says, but he answers "responsibly". Homer is saddened by this.

At school, Lunch Lady Doris tells Milhouse to pick a gellotine dessert, as he's been starring at them for 15 minutes. He says it's so hard to decide, wondering whether the yellow one is lemon or pineapple. She gives him it, saying it's his pet canary, and Milhouse walks away with his food. Nelson sticks his foot out as Milhouse is walking, and trips him up. He says his catchpharse "Haw Haw!", along with "you're a spaz". Lisa, sitting opposite Nelson, stands up and says that's not true. She says firstly, Milhouse fell because Nelson tripped him. Secondly, spaz is short for spastic depledging, someone who suffers from a serious medical condition. And thirdly, his "Haw Haw" through overuse has lost it's power. Afterwards, Nelson says he bows before Lisa's logic, and then punches Milhouse, who's still lying on the floor, hard on the arm. Lisa and Martin walk over to him, and Martin takes him away for help. A woman, who had been watching Lisa throughout the conversation, walks over, saying she couldn't help but notice how logically she argued. Lisa says she is one, flattered, and two, intrigued. Lisa introduces herself, and the woman introduces herself as Ms. Dubinsky. She invites Lisa to join the school debate team, which Lisa didn't know about. Ms. Dubinksy tells her it's the one curricular activity that can't be cut, because it requires no equipment. Principal Skinner comes in, and says the school is low on funding, so Ralph Wiggum will be standing in as their lecturn. Ralph then says "I'm a furniture".

Later in the day, Lisa discusses why hybrid car buyers should be given rebates payed for by taxes on hamburgers. When she finishes, Skinner comes in saying the podiums (Ralph and Wendell Borton) are needed as easels in the art room. A judge asks Megan for cross-examination. She bullies Lisa because of her blonde hair, and wins.

The next day at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, Smithers informs Mr. Burns that space to store nuclear waste is full, even though there was supposed to be enough space for a million years worth. Mr. Burns asks if they've jumping on the pile to squash it down. Smithers said it didn't work, and they need somewhere to dispose of the plutonium. Mr. Burns says to find the biggest idiot on their payroll and slip it in his bag. He sees Homer replacing a 'Safety First' poster to a 'Duff Zone' poster, and says "That's a bingo!"

At lunchtime, Homer is eating mac and cheese, wearing a lot of Duff stuff. Smithers creeps in wearing a protective suit and holding plutonium with prongs. As Lenny says the best mac and cheese he's ever had was at the train station, Smithers slips the plutonium in his Duff bag. Not realising, Homer says he'll have to check it out some time. "As soon as Humanly possible", Homer is at the station eating mac and cheese. A man sitting next to him says the best mac and cheese he'd ever had was at a bowling alley in Ogdenville. Homer says he's pretty full, but then the man mentions there are breadcrumbs on the top, and he runs out. A woman sees his Duff bag, and says surely it's attended. She waits for a few seconds, and then screams "UNATTENDED BAG!" Everyone runs out, and a train conductor shouts "All panic!"

Later, explosives are attached to the bag, and outside, Chief Wiggum asks what they think is going to happen. An explosives expert thinks they're going to blow it up (and let the liberals ask questions later). He counts down from five, but stops at four saying there's no time for a four countdown, and blows it up. A clock lands next to where Homer is lying on a hammock, and says notices it dinner time (five to six). He leaps out of the hammock humming.

On Channel 6 News, Kent Brockman says that the unattended bag at Springfield Union Station contained deadly plutonium. He says it can only mean one thing: a terrorist plot. There was enough radioactivity released to create seventeen Hulks and a Spider-Man. At artists conception is shown (Spiderman whacking baseball bats at Hulks), which he describes as "quite disturbing".

gay Flanders

At City Hall, the president Quimby admits that everything he said about terrorism was to cause fear, but now he says it's all true. To protect the city from all future attacks, they hired an external consultant from London, England.

When Bart is skateboarding going home, he realizes that the yard is the only place where the cameras can not see and he and Homer begin charging money for people to do whatever they want there. When Flanders realizes he agrees with Homer and start destroying the cameras get to the city as it was before.

In the end, it is revealed that the antics of the citizens of Springfield were broadcast as a reality show in Britain, known as The American Oafs.

Reception
In an effort for more viewers for May sweeps FOX made a week full of musical segments in all the shows called "Fox Rocks". For The Simpsons they had the entire Opening Sequence redone with the characters lip dubbing Ke$ha's song "Tik Tok" for that episode.

The episode received high positive reviews. IGN gave the episode 8/10 and remarked that "Overall, it was a fun episode, hurt only by the uninteresting filler of Lisa dealing with blonde stereotypes. But even that delivered its share of memorable quotes. If the past few episodes are any indication, this season may go out on a very high note."


 * USA: 1st airdate: May 2, 2010
 * UK: 1st airdate: June 3, 2010
 * UK: 2nd airdate: June 6, 2010
 * UK: 3rd airdate: July 23, 2010