The Simpsons Wrestling/Quotes

Homer Simpson

 * I'm so mad I could spit flames out of my butt! Arrrgghhh!!
 * You couldn't scare me with the rest of the scariest day of your life if you had an electrified scaring machine.
 * Counseling!? I'll show you some freaking marriage counseling!
 * No use praying Flanders! God can't save you now!
 * I'll teach you to interrupt me while I'm watching the food channel!
 * You su-diddly-uck, Flanders!
 * Urge to kill rising!
 * When I'm done with you there'll be nothing but pork squeezing!
 * I'm gonna crush you with my super sonic lard bomb!
 * You're going down, clown!
 * Okay Barn, if I win you owe me a beer. If you win, you owe me two beers.
 * I am so great! I am so great! G-R-A-T-E! I am so great!
 * Homer! Homer! Homer!
 * I am the champion! I am the champion!
 * Whoo-hoo! I win! I win and whipped you scream! Mmmmmm..... Whipped scream.
 * I'm so talented. And good-looking.
 * In your face! Whoo-hoo!
 * Remember Marge, winning isn't anything. So please let me win this time.
 * This is gonna be sweet!
 * Why you little! I'll teach you to think!
 * Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?
 * Hey, Smithers! I'm gonna turn you into dork juice, and cram it down Burns' throat! HEY, QUIT SMILING!
 * Nothing personal, Barney, but after I hit you with the Iron Pretzel of Death, you are history!
 * I'll teach you to corrupt my kids! That's MY job!
 * Hehe! Look at your face, Red! Looks like somebody beat me to it!
 * In your FACE! WOOHOO!
 * I'm so good, I could kiss myself! Mwah! Mwah! OWW! Alright, already!!

Marge Simpson

 * This is for all those cute, little, three-eyed fish out there!
 * Now here's my recipe for FOOO YAH!!!
 * Hmph, teach you to meddle with a Battling Bouvier!
 * Moe, this time I'm going to be doing some hitting on you!
 * There must be some mistake! I'm s'posed to be playing Bingo right now!
 * Now it's time to take out the trash!

Bart Simpson

 * Cool! Sibling smackdown!
 * Run while you can! Batrunga, lord of the apes is coming!
 * Eat my shorts!
 * Aw, if only I was a vampire, then you'd REALLY be in trouble!
 * Give up, Burns! There isn't enough room in this town for TWO aspiring overlords!
 * Yeah, I'm looking for Moe, last name Ron!
 * You may be my boyhood idol, but I'm still gonna kick your butt!

Lisa Simpson

 * Hmm, my brains against your brawn... SURRENDER, BART!
 * You're nothing but a wee, timid, cowering beastie, Willie!
 * Beware, Mr Szyslak, I hit UNDER the belt!
 * Time to punch a few more holes in your "Holier than thou" philosophy!
 * Yeah, yeah, "Resistance is futile", how cliche!
 * Better luck next time, IN YOUR DREAMS!!
 * Perhaps you might want to rethink your strategy?
 * I thought I couldn't, but I could, I did, AND I COULD DO IT AGAIN!
 * I feel like (name), if only she wrestled!
 * Eye of the tiger, heart of a champion!!

Moe Szyslak

 * Alright Mr. Goody Two Shoes, it's time for Moe 3:16. Where Moe gives Ned a swift kick in the butt!
 * When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna pull out your eyes with a corkscrew!
 * When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna pull out your eyes, and shove em down your pants, uh, so you can watch while I'm kicking your butt!
 * Aw, Marge, this is no place for a lady, so I'm just gonna toss your butt outta here.
 * Your show, it's not funny! All right, maybe a little funny, ALL RIGHT! I watch it every day, but I'm STILL gonna be kicking your butt!
 * Hey, Mr. Burns! I just got elected chairman of the board! And now I'm gonna pund ya with it!
 * Hey, Smithers! Get over here, and say "Yes" to the business end of my boot!
 * Hot damn! The chicks will dig this!
 * I'm normally a tenderhearted guy, but now ya pissed me off!
 * I'm really a sensitive guy, er, when ya get to know me!
 * Gloryoski, I won! I really, really won!
 * Aw, ain't they cute? Ya make me just wanna vomit all over the place!
 * When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna tie your tentacles into a knot and ship ya off to the planet Slimeball, where ya belong!
 * When you get to hell, tell 'em Moe sent ya'll!

Apu Nahasapeemapetilon

 * Excuse me while I beat you silly, Mr. Krusty! And please come again!
 * Ah, Mrs. Homer. Can I interest you in a fight to the death?
 * THANK YOU, PLEASE COME AGAIN!!
 * This victory is the one thing you cannot steal from me, you little hoodlum!
 * I am opposed to interrupting your youth, but PREPARE TO MEET YOUR MAKER, YOU CHEESE-EATING MONSTER!!
 * How can I hurt the man whose lust for beer and pornography kept me in business that first, difficult year? Oh, well, I'll manage!
 * I am afraid I will have to kill you now.
 * Shiva H. Vishnu! My jubilation knows no bounds!
 * Hello, valued customer! We have a special on beatings today!

Groundskeeper Willie

 * Do ya worse! You can't scare Willie!
 * Unfurl the bagpipes, and commence the tootling!
 * Dinnae feel bad about losing. I was wrestling wolves back when ye were at yer mother's teat!
 * There's nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman!
 * Ach, go on, the two of ya, before ya make Willie crack a rib!
 * I'LL KILL YOU, MR. BURNS! AND WOUND YOU, MR. SMITHERS!!
 * I'm gonna stuff yer head in tha saxophone! This is a mercy killing, I tells ya!
 * Ok, fancy boots! Let's go!
 * NOW Willie's gettin' jiggy with it!
 * Ach, I took care of a whole hive of ya this afternoon. One or two more doesn't make a difference.
 * If it was up to me, I'd let ya go, but the cafeteria served creamed corn today, and I've been drinking like crazy!!

Barney Gumble

 * Raaahhhhh! I'm angry now! Arrggghhhh!!! I'm gonna trample you into jelly! Tra-la-la-la-la-da-da!
 * Waaaaaarrgggghhhhh!!!! I'm seeing clowns! MUST KILL CLOWNS!!!
 * Hey, I know you! You're Krunchy the Clown! I hate you!
 * Alright! A local boy!
 * There's not enough beer in this town for the both of us. You must die!
 * Kill Moe! Get all the beer!
 * Can you do that water into wine trick? No wait, water into beer! Or I'll KILL YOU!
 * I'm gonna stretch you like a rubber band and play Danny Boy on your tonsils!
 * Hey, you're one of the Seven Duffs! Gimme a beer.
 * Hey, you're one of the Seven Duffs! Where's my free beer?!
 * Another victory for the Drunkinator!
 * Maybe now I can finally be able to wrestle Duffman!
 * All right! Ugh, I think I'm gonna puke...
 * Ugh, I could really use a beer!
 * Here Comes The Beer Train!
 * It's jerks like YOU who drink all the beer and kiss all the ladies! Hey, who ARE you??
 * It's time for Barneys super airplane spin! It makes me puke, but it's effective!
 * Hold still, all of you!
 * Now that's what I call fun!
 * WHO'S SORRY NOW!!
 * ABDUCTED BY ALIENS?! Not again...
 * Uh, hey! It's Santa Claus!!

Professor Frink

 * Finally, we shall answer the question that has plagued mankind for centuries: GOD OR SCIENCE!!
 * Give up, Burnsie! My patented cryogenic chamber is your best shot at seeing the 22nd century!
 * Run along, little girl! You can't POSSIBLY be as smart as I am!
 * Yes! YES YES!! Survival of the nerdliest!
 * Professor Frink, Professor Frink, he makes you laugh,he makes you think, he likes to run, and then the thing with the... person...
 * Good LORD this should be easy! According to my calculations, you shouldn't be alive right NOW!
 * There seems to be some muistake, here. I seem to have been put in the ring with a hairless gorilla...
 * Wait a moment! My Frinkatronic mind reader appears to be on the fritz! I'm not picking up a thing!
 * "How am I going to beat you", you ask? Well, it should be obvious to even the most dim-witted individual that I... oh, never mind. BUH HUY!
 * Some nice equipment you have there, buy huy... Relinquish it or die!

Ned Flanders

 * Aw, Marge, you know I can't hit a lady! I suppose, I'll just have to kick ya, instead!
 * Apu, you silly little man! Hinduism is just Satanism with 4 extra arms! Fraid I'll have to kill ya!
 * Oh, you better run before I go all Old Testament on you!
 * Oh, goody! Two fatheads for the price of one! Double the trouble means double the fun!!
 * Well, if money is the root of all evil, then I'm, the gopher who's gonna gnaw that root right off! If ya know what I mean...
 * Oh, you're done-diddly-one for!
 * Oh, I'm gonna kill-diddly-ill ya!
 * I told you to turn the other cheek!
 * Thank ya, Lord, for giving the eensiest taste of bloodlust!

Bumblebee Man

 * (Ay yi yi! Your hair is big!)
 * (The fame of the chupacabras does not compare to the fame of Bumblebee Man!)
 * (Your breath alone is reason to destroy you!)
 * (You may be funny, but I am more funny!)
 * (To commemorate my victory, you will give me one Squishee!)
 * (Long live Bumblebee Man!!)

Charles Montgomery Burns

 * Smithers, why do they all... hate me so?
 * Hop to it, Smithers! Dispatch that homely troll before I get dyspeptic!
 * OHH, so you actually think you can WIN? EXCELLENT!
 * Come over here, perhaps I can find something to SCALD you with!
 * I'm going to flay you alive, and no court on this Earth would convict me- I'm far too RICH, nyahehehe!
 * I'm going to boil your flesh in a nuclear stew and wear your bones for a necklace!
 * Smithers, you infernal ninny! Reach down the throat and pull out the HEART, you stuporous funker!!
 * This plebian pastime certainly has its rewards!
 * That'll teach you, you jackanape, now GET OUT!!
 * I haven't felt so much pep, since the night I cold-cocked Calvin Coolidge!
 * Why, I feel like a spry, 65 year old again!
 * Muhahah, ahahah, AAAHA-EXCELLENT!
 * Who's your daddy?
 * Ahoy, hoy, lowly mortal! Quit toying with them, Smithers!

Kodos

 * Hmm, we won't NEED to catch 40 humans if we can bag THIS chunky looking individual...
 * Ned-diddly Flanders! We are your new gods! Bow down before us!!
 * Foolish girl! You are no match for a healthy Rigellian!
 * After we violently humiliate you, we will spray you with rum, so nobody will believe your story!
 * Hmm, your comedic stylings are not unlike (Name), the entertainer, on our own hilarious planet!
 * This winged specimen merits further study. On second thought, let's just pull his wings off!
 * I can't understand you, red one. Speak Rigellian or English at least!
 * Hey, Two Eyes, come and get some!
 * Muhahaha, oh, my, yes!
 * That was like taking crystalluine sucra from a larva!
 * Your planet is doomed! DOOMED, I SAY!!

Krusty the Clown

 * I am smooth in the groove and I have nothing to prove.
 * Now you wouldn't hit a clown, now would ya?
 * Come here loser. I'm gonna autograph your face with my boot!
 * I'll give you a Krusty-brand butt-kicking! (Laughs)
 * Hey Jumbo, what beer truck did you fall out of?
 * Wa-hoo! Beauty isn't the eye of the beer holder. Whatever that means. Stupid writers.
 * Let's do it, fat boy!
 * Woa-hoah! Welcome to the inconvenient store, Squishee Boy!
 * Your act stinks! This is your final performance, booby!
 * And Now Folks, I'm Celebrating by Going to Krustyland!
 * Another small Slick for clown kind. Thank You! Thank You Very Much.

Hans Moleman

 * This should prove exciting...
 * KILL THEM, KILL THEM, YOU IDIOT!

Timothy Lovejoy

 * If anyone asks, I'm just here to spread the word of God to these wayward wrestlers.
 * This truly is a haven of the damned. (I'm gonna go get some popcorn...)