Homer the Moe/Quotes


 * Moe: That's the stupidest story I've ever heard, and I've read the entire Sweet Valley High series.


 * Homer: Geez, Moe. You've been a real crank lately.
 * Moe [takes out a shotgun]: You take that back.
 * Homer: Now, you see. That's what I'm talkin' about. You're always pointing that shotgun at us.
 * Lenny: And callin' us dumbasses.
 * Carl: Which we are so not.


 * Lisa: It's not fair, Dad. Why should an animal die just because you and Moe are fighting?
 * Homer: It's the law. My hands are tied.


 * Homer [to Moe]: Well, you've turned into a big phony!
 * Moe: Hey, nobody calls Moe St. Cool a phony!


 * Homer: I'm sorry I shot you, Moe.
 * Moe: Aw, that's okay. It's like my dad always said, "Eventually, everybody gets shot."


 * [An eagle starts pecking at Moe's face]
 * Moe: Ow, ow! Not the face! [the eagle starts pecking at Moe's crotch] Ooh, ooh, okay the face! [the eagle starts pecking Moe's face again] Ooh. Whoa, that actually feels good after the...after the crotch.