I'm with Cupid/Quotes


 * Captain McCallister: (To Apu) Thanks for delivering these copies of Jugs. They'll keep my men from resorting to homosexuality...for about ten minutes!


 * Bart: And thank you God for the bad things adults do, which help distract people from what I'm doing.


 * Homer: Hey! You with the scarf! Stop skywriting!
 * Skywriter: I have to deliver a message. It's the skywriters' code!
 * Homer: I am so sick of that damn code!


 * Homer: Mr. John, I'm your biggest fan. I tape-recorded all your songs off the radio.
 * Elton: Oh, that's very sweet. Have a Grammy. (produces one from nowhere)
 * Homer: Uh … (throws it in a garbage can)


 * Ned: Aw, gee, the man's just trying to show his wife he cares for her. How can we sabotage his labor of love?
 * Homer: I dunno. Gasoline, acid, I got some stuff in the trunk.


 * Homer: This Valentine's crap has gone too far!
 * Male Crowd: Yeah
 * Skinner: Eh, Edna won't even let me clap her erasers.
 * Sideshow Mel: My Barbara will no longer pleasure me with the French arts!
 * Moe: The gal I'm stalking had me bumped back to two hundred feet.
 * Barney: Aw, Moe. That's too far