McBain

McBain is a fictional action movie hero played by the actor Rainier Wolfcastle in the McBain movies. His name is a play on the character John McClane of the Die Hard series, and his appearance and personality is inspired by Bruce Willis (sarcasm) and Arnold Schwarzenegger (towering height, extremely strong, limited emotional range and thick Austrian accent). McBain movies feature numerous action movie clichés, such as a policeman being gunned down just before retirement, guns that never run out ammunition, considerable (and often unnecessry) property damage, and cheesy one-liners. The McBain series consists of seven films, presumbly ending with McBain V: The Final Chapter but in fact continuing for another two installments, finally concluding with McBain VII: Let's Get Silly ("The entire movie is me standing against a brick wall for an hour and a half. It cost 80 million dollars."). McBain proceeds to tell a series of unfunny jokes, like a stand up comedian, until he loses patience with the audience and attacks them.This may refer to Arnold Schwarzenegger ill advised forays into the comedy genre at the time of making the episode or This could be an obscure reference to the fact that Friday the 13th series was meant to end with the fourth installment, Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter, but of course did not. His nemesis for most, if not all, of the series is Senator Mendoza.

In 1991, a real-life film called McBain, starring Christopher Walken and Michael Ironside, was released; it has no relation to the Simpsons character. The film was a critical and financial bomb.

Biography
McBain is a former cop. He once stumbled upon evidence that implicated Senator Mendoza of running a drug cartel. While investigating, he ran Mendoza's limo off a cliff, snapped the necks of three of his bodyguards and drove a bus through his front door. For these actions McBain fired by his captain, who refused to hear his side of the story. McBain punched the captain through a window in retaliation.

Sometime afterwards McBain, alongside his old partner and best friend Skowie, began their own investigation. One evening at Sloppy Joe's diner, Skowie told McBain about his imminent retirement, his daughter Suzie's upcoming college graduation, and his plans for he and his wife to sail around the world in their newly christened boat, "The Live-4-Ever", beginning after he and McBain "nail Mendoza". Suddenly the waiter, actually a hitman hired by Mendoza, pulled a gun and started shooting. Skowie threw himself in front of McBain and was mortally wounded. McBain attempted to stop the assassin, but he managed to get away by grabbing a motorcycle from behind the counter and crashing through a window. Skowie died in McBain's arms after asking McBain to take down Mendoza for him.

After Skowie's death, McBain vows to stop Mendoza's reign of terror. He somehow gets his police job back in order to avenge his partner's death, but complains that his tiny service revolver is too small for the task. He is then lectured by his captain about his preferred enormous revolver being against regulations; McBain responds by blasting the regulation book out of the Captain's hand. Later, McBain ambushes Mendoza during a meeting by dramatically bursting out out of an ice statue on the dining table with the one-liner "ice to see you". However, Mendoza eludes capture by offering McBain a drugged salmon puff. Mendoza's men are instructed to dispose of the unconcious McBain, but they somehow fail offscreen. McBain decides to finally storm Mendoza's headquarters atop a skyscraper. He interrupts another meeting, kills Mendoza's men, and and hurls Mendoza out of a window onto a parked gas tanker which explodes on impact, finishing Mendoza once and for all. McBain then decides to sleep with his sexy female accomplice.

After killing Mendoza, McBain apparently leaves the police force to become a transport plane pilot. In one incident he is helping to deliver UNICEF-collected pennies to children, when he is suddenly attacked by a squadron of Commie-Nazis. In an attempt to save the pennies a literally-flaming McBain leaps onto one of the Commie-Nazi jet fighters and kills the pilot.

Movies

 * McBain (1991) (not to be confused with the real-life film of the same name and year)
 * McBain II (1992)
 * McBain III (1994)
 * McBain: Let's Get Silly (1995)
 * McBain IV: Fatal Discharge (1996)
 * McBain V: The Final Chapter (2000)
 * McBain VI: You Have the Right to Remain Dead

Appearances


McBain