Bart vs. Australia/Quotes


 * Bart: I can't get a straight answer out of this crazy hemisphere.
 * (he calls another number and reaches a car phone in Argentina)
 * Adolf Hitler: Eine Minute, eine Minute! Ach! Das Wagen-phone ist ein...Nuisancephone! ("One minute, one minute! Alas! The carphone is a...nuisancephone!")
 * Man: Buenas noches, mein Führer! (Good night, my Führer!)
 * Hitler: Ja, ja. (Yeah, yeah.)




 * Homer: (looking at globe) There it is! Aus-tra-li-a. I'll be damned. (laughs) Look at this country:U-R-Gay!"




 * Conover: Mr. Simpson, shush! Disparaging the boot is a bootable offense! It's one of their proudest traditions!
 * (he points it out using the Australian Flag, which inaccurately shows a boot kicking the buttocks)




 * Lisa: Bart, water will only go the other way in the southern hemisphere.
 * Bart: What the hell is the Southern Hemisphere?
 * Lisa: Haven't you ever looked at your globe?
 * (tears off wrapping paper on a gift with a tag reading "Happy Birthday! Love Grampa" on it)
 * See, the Southern Hemisphere is made up off everything below the equ... (stares at Bart) this line.
 * Bart: So say in Argentina, and Rand McNally (pointing at Rand McNally logo on globe), all their water goes backwards?
 * Lisa: Uh-huh. In fact, in Rand McNally, people wear hats on their feet and hamburgers eat people.
 * Bart: (impressed) Cool!




 * Marge: I'll just have a cup of coffee.
 * Bartender: Beer it is.
 * Marge: No, I said coffee.
 * Bartender: Beer.
 * Marge: Cof-fee.
 * Bartender: Be-er.
 * Marge: (spells) C-O...
 * Bartender: (spells) B-E...




 * Aide: Please to repeat again and I will translating for the el Presidente.
 * Bart: (slowly) Which way does the water turn in your toilet?
 * Aide: (in Spanish) He says the tide is turning!
 * Presidente: (in Spanish) Ay, caramba! Then the rebels will soon take the capital. I must flee! (dives out window)




 * Bart: Hey, I think I hear a dingo eating your baby.




 * Homer: Hey, do we get to land on an aircraft carrier?


 * Helicopter pilot: No, sir, the closest vessel is the USS Walter Mondale. It's a laundry ship. They'll take you the rest of the way.




 * Australian man: You call that a knife? This is a knife!
 * Bart: That's not a knife. That's a spoon.
 * Australian man: Alright, alright, you win. Heh. I see you've played knifey-spooney before.




 * Homer: When will you Australians learn? In America, we stopped using corporal punishment, and things have never been better. The streets are safe. Old people strut confidently in the darkest alleys. And the weak and nerdy are admired for their computer-programming abilities. So, like us, let your children run wild and free! 'Cos as the old saying goes, "let your children run wild and free".