The Simpsons Movie/Quotes


 * Ralph Wiggum: (After seeing Bart naked) I like men now!


 * Homer Simpson: (inside a movie theater) BORING!
 * Lisa Simpson: Dad, we can't see the movie.
 * Homer Simpson: I can't believe we're paying for something we can get on TV for free. If you ask me, everybody in this theater is a giant sucker, especially YOU! [points to audience/viewer]


 * [The family is late for Church]


 * Marge Simpson: I hate being late.
 * Homer Simpson: I hate going. Why can't I worship the lord in my own way, like praying like hell on my deathbed?
 * Marge Simpson: Homer, they can hear you inside!
 * Homer Simpson: "Relax, those pious morons are too busy talking to their phony baloney God." [opens door to see everybody looking at him]
 * Homer Simpson: [whispering] How ya doin'? Peace be with you. Praise Jebus.


 * Lisa Simpson: This town is just one piece of trash away from a toxic nightmare! But I knew you wouldn't listen. So I took the liberty of pouring water from the lake in all your drinking glasses! [everyone spits out their drinks in disgust]
 * Moe: See, this is why we should hate kids!


 * [Grampa in church]


 * Grampa Simpson: People of Springfield, HEED THIS WARNING. Twisted tail! A thousand eyes! TRAPPED FOREVER!


 * [Grampa falls down and makes babbling noises (similar to Curly from ]


 * Lisa: Dad, do something!
 * Homer: [flipping through Bible] But this book doesn't have any answers!
 * Grampa Simpson: Beware, BEWARE! Time is short, Eeeepa, Eeeepa, EEEEEPA! Believe me! BELIEVE MEEEEEEE!!


 * Lisa: Milhouse, you don't care about the environment.
 * Milhouse: Hey! I am very passionate about the planet.
 * Nelson Muntz: Say Global Warming is a myth!
 * Milhouse: [startled] It's a myth! Further study is needed!
 * (Nelson punches him in the stomach, Milhouse falls over in pain)
 * Nelson Muntz: That's for selling out your beliefs. [Storms off]


 * Marge Simpson: A thousand eyes... what could that be?
 * Grampa Simpson: Hmmmm, I'm pretty sure a thousand is a number...


 * Homer Simpson: [to the tune of the Spiderman theme song] Spider-Pig, Spider-Pig. Does whatever a Spider-Pig does. Can he swing, from a web? No he can't, he's a pig. Look out! He is Spider-Pig.


 * Marge Simpson: You can take Spider-Pig with you!
 * Homer Simpson: He's not Spider-Pig any more, he's Harry Plopper.


 * [after Springfield has been sealed in a dome]
 * Homer: D'OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME!!!


 * Homer: [looking at the angry mob] Marge! Look! Those idiots don't even know where we live!
 * Mob: [turns around] Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!
 * Homer: D'oh!


 * Lisa: [to Colin] I'd never knew my life would have an absolutely perfect moment, but this ---
 * Bart: [singing] Lisa's got a boyfriend that she'll never see again!
 * Lisa: [punches Bart in the face] Perfect.


 * Bart: [to Cargill] Wait! If you kill my father, you'll never know where the treasure is buried!
 * Cargill: What treasure?!
 * Bart: The-the treasure of Ima Weiner.
 * Cargill: I'm a weiner? [Homer and Bart laugh]


 * Homer: Ok, boy, Time for the ultimate dare. I dare you to skate all the way to Krusty Burger and back... naked.
 * Bart: How naked?
 * Homer: Fourth base.
 * Bart: But girls might see my doodle.
 * Homer: Oh, I see. Then I declare you chicken for life. Every morning I'll say 'Good Morning, Chicken.' Then at your wedding, I'll sing (also holding up the middle finger) "Bawk Bawk Ba-Bawk, Bawk Bawk Baw- (sees Bart skating naked) Bawk?


 * Sideshow Mel: What ruthless madmen could have dones this to us?!
 * Cargill: (over a speaker) The United States government. (appears on a large screen) My name is Russ Cargill, I'm head of the EPA.
 * (Crowd has confused looks)
 * Moe: The what?
 * Cargill: Enviromental Protection Agency.
 * Lenny: Come again?
 * Cargill: Look, I'm a man on a big TV! Just listen!


 * Cargill: Springfield has become...
 * Citizen: Whoo! Springfield!
 * Cargill: ...the most polluted city in the history of the planet.
 * Krusty: Drama queen!


 * Homer: You can't kill him if he's wearing people clothes!


 * Bart: (depressed) This is the worst day of my life...


 * Homer: The worst day of your life so far!


 * Jeffery Albertson: Excuse me!  My heiny is dipping.


 * Ned:(holds a French Fry) But boys, before we eat, don't forget to thank the Lord for this bountiful...
 * (Bart slams on the window of krusty burger near Ned's French Fry)
 * Ned: (surprised) PENIS!?!
 * (Ned looks his sons, Rod and Todd
 * Rod and Tod: Bountiful Penis.
 * Tod: Amen.


 * Martin: I've been taking your crap all my life!
 * (he starts beating up the bullies with a wooden plank)
 * Martin: This feels good,no wonder I can do it.
 * (he continues to beat up the bullies)


 * Chief Wiggum: Wow, it's amazing how no one was hurt.
 * (thud)
 * Dr.Nick: (weakly) Bye,everybody. (dying groan)


 * Marge: (through a mega phone) Somebody throw the goddamn bomb!


 * Marge: Best kiss of my life.
 * Homer: Best kiss of your life so far.