Waylon Smithers, Jr.

"That's Homer Simpson, one of your 'condescending noun' from sector 7G."

- Smithers' catchphrase

"All right, that's it. You know, I used to wonder why Mr. Burns hated humanity. Now I know. You open your heart and they mock your very decency."

- Waylon Smithers

"Mr. Burns isn't just my heartless boss, he's also my best friend."

- Waylon Smithers on Mr. Burns

Waylon Joseph Smithers, Jr. (born 1960) (better known as "Mr. Smithers" or simply "Smithers") is Mr. Burns's personal assistant, executive, and self-proclaimed best friend. He has lived with Burns since he was an infant, and though partly raised by him, Burns has never seen Smithers as a stepson, an heir, or generally anything worth his genuine warmth or care; nonetheless, his loyalty to his evil boss is sincere.

Smithers is a gay man; he officially came out in The Burns Cage. Although most people in Springfield were aware he was gay before this. He is allergic to bee stings and has hypothyroidism, both of which can kill him. He is also lactose-intolerant.

Biography
When Smithers was a baby, his father, Waylon Smithers, Sr., was Burns's assistant until he died of radiation poisoning after saving Springfield from a potential nuclear meltdown, making Burns the closest thing to a father figure for him. Smithers never learned the true cause of his father's heroic death, with Burns instead claiming Smithers Sr. was killed by amazonian warrior women. Young Smithers wore spectacles even as a baby. In high school, he was a target for bullies (including Homer Simpson), while he was the announcer for the high school gymnastics competition, giving particular emphasis on the male gymnasts over the female gymnasts. Eventually, he became Burns' personal assistant.

As a (not very well) closeted gay man, Smithers has had a crush on Burns for as long as he has worked for him, but Burns is almost always oblivious. Smithers was once married to a woman, but it fell apart when she wanted to have sex with him, and also referred to Mr. Burns as "awful". At one point it was implied that Smithers was linked romantically to John, the owner of Cockamamie's thrift shop. After coming out he later dated Julio, although Smithers's continuing feelings for Mr. Burns interfered with their relationship.

Smithers collects Malibu Stacy dolls, writes a newsletter about the doll, and was the author of a Malibu Stacy stage musical that played in New Mexico; he played Stacy's boyfriend. In the episode Lisa the Skeptic, when the people of Springfield believe that an apocalypse is upon them, Smithers takes the opportunity to show Mr. Burns how he feels and kisses him. However, when it becomes apparent the 'apocalypse' was just a hoax, Burns still remains oblivious to Smithers's feelings, while Smithers covered up his actions by claiming it was a sign of respect. He also came close to coming out to Mr. Burns during the Do What You Feel Day festivities, though he quickly covered himself by claiming he meant that he loved the Hawaiian shirt Mr. Burns was wearing at that time, and then privately lamented that he should have came out to Mr. Burns in the boat house earlier.

In Future-Drama, Bart comes across Smithers and a blonde woman at Burns' mansion. Smithers reveals that he is straight as long as he keeps injecting himself with hormones every ten minutes. He once owned a Yorkshire Terrier named Hercules. When Mr. Burns convinced Sideshow Bob to run for mayor, it was Smithers who revealed to Bart and Lisa a clue that would lead them to the truth about Bob's not-so-honest victory in the mayoral election, hinting that his reasons were due to Sideshow Bob planning on enacting policies that were oppressive to his orientation. He intended to supply them with the information anonymously, although his efforts were spoiled by Homer Simpson driving up and then activating his headlights.



In 1995, when Mr. Burns attempted to block the sun from Springfield after stealing oil from the elementary school, Smithers objected and was fired. This drove him into a nightmare of alcohol abuse and Comedy Central viewing. He was the main suspect in the subsequent shooting of Mr. Burns, but he was cleared due to it becoming clear that, as he had been watching Pardon My Zinger at the time of the shooting, he couldn't have been the one who done it. However, he did, in a drunken stupor, shoot Jasper in his wooden leg while trying to rush home to watch his favorite TV show. No charges were pressed in this case, mostly because Jasper already forgot about it. After Burns is shot, Smithers goes to church where he admits to God he is not a Catholic, although he did try to march in the Saint Patrick's Day Parade. Chief Wiggum was listening due to it being a police trap and arrested Smithers, who was later exonerated. He also went behind his boss's back earlier, although a lot more reluctantly, regarding Sideshow Bob as aforementioned. Similarly, after Mr. Burns rejected Smithers' feelings for him despite the latter coming out to him, Smithers quit on Mr. Burns and, due to having come up with the traps in Mr. Burns' office in the first place, also outwitted Mr. Burns by not only dodging all the trap doors Mr. Burns placed in his floor, but also manipulated him into dropping himself.

In Midnight Rx, Burns cancels his employees' prescription medication plan, after awhile Smithers' thyroid starts to swell because he can't afford his medication. Burns accompanies Homer to Canada in his airplane in order to get Smithers's medicine before he passes on.

Smithers' official job at the power plant appears to be that of executive assistant, which he says is "actually about 2,800 smaller jobs", responsible for monitoring employee attendance, is often a disciplinarian and has won dozens of "Employee of the Month" awards. He has often hinted at wanting to be promoted to the position of executive vice president, but Burns has repeatedly squashed this dream, while whimsically bestowing the vice presidency on Homer and a dog.

He was once, however, made the CEO of the Nuclear Power Plant in Burns' stead when Mr. Burns was arrested for stealing paintings from an art museum, a position that is arguably better than vice president, although he hints that he didn't want the job. He initially tried to be an employee-friendly boss, but after overhearing a conversation between Lenny, Carl and Homer while meeting at Moe's Tavern that revealed that they were abusing his employee-friendly nature to in essence goof off, he became a worse CEO than Mr. Burns (even going as far as to release wolverines in the house instead of hounds). He eventually gave up on the position willingly after Burns was released by Lenny, Carl and Homer.

Smithers has the largest collection of Malibu Stacy dolls in the World and is the president of the Malibu Stacy fan club.

It was implied once that something laid eggs in Smithers's brain and was considered serious enough of a medical issue that Mr. Burns, who had himself been discharged from the Mayo Clinic with a clean bill of health (relatively speaking) apologized to Smithers about his news, with Smithers himself stating that, since he considered the mere fact that even one egg was laid in his brain was "too many," he would "prefer not knowing" how many eggs were in his brain.

Aside from his suspected shooting of Mr. Burns, as well as any acts he did on Burns' behalf, he also did a very bad thing in a park during the night at one time while Chief Wiggum had been on patrol, although the latter did not arrest him during this time. Wiggum later alluded to this incident when Smithers was unable to wear a hat despite one of the old laws mandating that he wear a hat during the day time, citing that if he didn't arrest him for "that night in the park", he certainly wouldn't have arrested him for what was implied to be a misdemeanor by comparison.

Although he is the sidekick of one of the biggest villains on the show, Smithers has a relatively friendly relationship with the Simpson family. He gets along well with Lisa, and is good friends with Marge, with whom he has a lot in common.

The Simpsons Arcade Game
Smithers acted as the main antagonist of The Simpsons Arcade Game by Konami, where he abducted Maggie (due to her taking a diamond that he had stolen during a heist at a jewelry store). After a prolonged chase (including initially losing his quarry in the mountains before retrieving her via a hot air balloon), Smithers proceeded to fight them in Mr. Burns's office, using various bombs. After being defeated, he reveals lots of bombs in his coat, only to express shock when they are lit, exploding and presumably killing him, or at the very least severely injuring him. Mr. Burns, who had been watching the entire fight from a painting and who had orchestrated the heist (and by extension, the kidnapping), then proceeded to personally deal with them in a mecha, although he was soundly defeated.

The Simpsons: Bart vs. the World
Smithers was responsible for ensuring the art contest on The Krusty the Clown Show was rigged in Bart's favor as part of Burns' murderous vendetta against the Simpson family, and also reminded him that he wanted the Simpsons wiped off the face of the Earth. He was also tasked with contacting each family relative of Mr. Burns for the various locations in the tour, and also cutting ties with each of his family members (in particular, crossing Abomnible Snow Burns from the Christmas card list and writing Ramses Burns out of his will, in particular being bequeathed his salad bowl). He later proceeded to arrive with Mr. Burns when the latter was forced to arrive on the show to personally congratulate Bart, and got pelted with cream pies alongside his boss.

The Simpsons Road Rage
Smithers doesn't actually have any speaking roles, although he does appear in the opening scene where he is at City Hall near the speech podium as Mr. Burns gives his speech unveiling the Nuclear Powered Megabuses. He is also seen during gameplay where he acts as the driver for Burns' limo.

The Simpsons: Hit & Run
Smithers appears in the first level, where Homer has to deal with him twice. The first time, he was to oversee an inspection at Sector 7G, Homer's workplace, for a worker evaluation. Homer ended up destroying his car via the Plow King (which he borrowed from Barney). He later ended up driving away when Homer tried to find Mr. Burns, with Homer needing to race him to Burns Manor so he could extract a confession from Mr. Burns regarding the emergence of mysterious satellite vans. However, upon Homer learning they were actually pizza vans and Burns had absolutely nothing to do with the vans at all, Smithers was ordered by Burns to release the hounds on him, and presumably fire him in the event Homer had been one of his employees.

He later appears as the bonus level character for the final level, "Flaming Tires." Homer begs for his help regarding the "frightening, odd, godless fascinating stuff" that is occurring in town, but Smithers declines as he has to do errands for Mr. Burns, even though those errands were occurring the same time as a brunch date with someone (Smithers implies that this was typical). Homer then proceeds to aid him in finding various items for Burns. The first being Alan Porterhouse's keep-em-up Sock Garters (Mr. Burns' favorite brand), which Burns needed due to his socks pulling at his ankles for several days. He then tasks him with finding "Dr. Wunderstein's Tooth Powder" (which Mr. Burns needs despite not actually having teeth anymore due to it making him feel young again when rubbed against his gums, with Smithers implying he only does it because he loves Mr. Burns and not because he enjoys the activity, to Homer's disgust). After that, he then tasks Homer with finding the vinyl record "Yes, We Have No Bananas" (according to Smithers, Burns needs it to bolo the exercise every morning, specifically to ensure his muscles don't fall off the bone). Unlike other characters, Smithers does not actually state he'll help Homer via a call, though they nonetheless unlock "his" vehicle, Mr. Burns' limo.

The Simpsons Game
He appears in the ending of Lisa the Treehugger, where he drives Mr. Burns' limo and apologizes for the loss of the woodcutting industry, and also proceeds to phone some of Burns' goons to beat up Al Gore to make him feel better.

Smithers appears during the Mob Rules level, where he is one of the members "recruited" into Marge's mob protest against Grand Theft Scratchy: Blood Island throughout the level. It is heavily implied that he only participated in the mob because he thought it was meant to be a mob trying to bring about gay marriage, or at least something in honor of Mr. Burns.

He, or at least sailors modeled in his likeness, were also prevalent in the final mission for the Medal of Homer level as enemies. According to Sergeant Abe Simpson, the Smithers sailors that act as the crew for the U.S.S. Reel Crazy aircraft carrier served "neither god nor country -- they fight for love". Similar to the main timeline Smithers, the sailors had a fanatical amount of loyalty to Private Burns, as he gave an order to "defend our fearless leader" as well as declaring for Homer and Bart's surrender and "Mr. Burns for ever!" Some of Homer and Bart's dialogue indicated that one of the sailors was in fact Smithers' grandpa. Unlike his implied grandson, however, it is heavily implied that these Smithers sailors were not homosexual, as Bart when interacting with them will sometimes yell "Your grandson's lifestyle will sicken you."

Sexuality
Smithers frequents Springfield's gay section. He is arrested for trying to obtain opium for Mr. Burns. Burns says to Homer "I've never seen someone take to a Turkish prison so quickly." Smithers once went on vacation to a male-only resort. He is passionate about Mr. Burns and has at least occasional fantasies about the older man. In one, Burns appears flying through Smithers's bedroom window as a large predatory bird, or jumping out of a birthday cake and singing "Happy birthday, Mr. Smithers". When Smithers powers up his computer, the screensaver is clearly a de facto nude Mr. Burns saying "Hello Smithers. You're quite good at turning me on".

On one occasion, Smithers is forced to go to Dr. Nick's "no questions asked clinic", having apparently put something in his butt which was now stuck there. Smithers has declared his love for Burns on some occasions, such as kissing Mr. Burns on the lips after saying "Oh, what the hell!", believing the world was ending, later explaining it to him as "merely a sign of my respect". Smithers once said; "I think women and seamen (semen) don't mix".

Burns himself has been involved with several women, much to Smithers's frustration, such as Marge Simpson's mother, Jacqueline Bouvier, Marge herself, and Gloria. He was disgusted by strippers who danced in front of him in a strip club. Smithers was noticeably disgusted when Burns started looking for a female companion. Burns, for his part, views (and refers to) Smithers as a lackey, albeit a highly valued one for his competence and toadying. He has "rewarded" Smithers's devotion with the future "honor" of being buried alive with him after he dies. Smithers has been shown to be somewhat dependent on his relationship with Burns, like the occasion when Burns orders Smithers to take a vacation and Homer is hired as a temporary replacement. When Homer loses his temper and punches Burns in the face, Mr. Burns learns to become self-reliant and this results in Smithers being fired. Smithers chooses that he needs to be Burns' assistant and eventually gets his job back. For all his sycophantic devotion to Mr. Burns, Smithers has been willing to challenge him on some occasions. When he opposed his employer's various evil schemes, Burns fired him. As a result of his firing, Smithers became a "hideous drunken wreck" and when Mr. Burns was shot later, Smithers thought he might have done it while he was drunk. When it was proven that he had not, Smithers seemingly forgave Burns and demanded that the culprit be brought to justice, offering a reward for the capture of the perpetrator. A lesser demonstration of this challenging him was when he aided the Simpson children in giving a vital clue towards how Sideshow Bob won the mayoral race, with his reasoning behind this being implied to be disagreement with Sideshow Bob about restricting those of his "sexual lifestyle."

In Squeam, Smithers plans to ditch his own "gay ways", and is the main guy who dresses up like ghost face along with Lovejoy every 15 seconds. It reveals he loves Fox shows and hates that they got canceled and kills Lovejoy by accident. He is later killed by the real killer and falls on Lovejoy as if kissing.

As seen on Professor Frink's future machine, at age 43, Smithers has to inject himself with some concoction every 10 minutes with a syringe to be heterosexual (upon taking the injection he waves his arms in the air and shouts "I loves boobies!"). At age 50, he thawed out Mr. Burns and had his seventeen stab wounds to the back cured. He attended Lisa Simpson's wedding with him. At age 1035, Smithers's head is on a robotic dog body and follows Mr. Burns's head everywhere.

Smithers appears in The Simpsons Arcade Game as the first boss of the final level, as well as one of the main antagonists. Smithers, presumably under Mr. Burns' command, broke into a jewelry store to steal a diamond. As he and his fellow henchmen were making their escape, he (quite literally) bumped into the Simpsons family, causing him to lose the diamond, and for Maggie to catch it. Due to this setback, Smithers ends up kidnapping Maggie, and, after a few misadventures, he makes it back to the Nuclear Power Plant, although not without the Simpsons family following him. He then fights the family, remarking "Welcome to my world!" He lobbed several explosives at the family. When sensing that he would soon lose, he opened his cape, revealed to be filled with explosives, cackling maniacally only to react in shock as he discovers that the explosives had activated, causing him to be caught in the explosions. For unknown reasons, Smithers in this game actually sounds much higher pitched than in the regular series (most of the other characters usually have more or less the same voices in the game).

In The Simpsons Game, level "Lisa the Tree Hugger", Smithers was involved in Mr. Burns's plan of trying to cut down the entirety of Springfield Forest, and is comforting him about doing better next time when the plan fails due to Lisa and Bart's interference, as well as phoning some goons to beat up Al Gore. In Mob Rules, he appears as one of the people Marge can use to protest the sales of the Grand Theft Scratchy videogame to minors. In Medal of Homer, a squad of sailors resembling Smithers protects Private Burns on board his personal naval carrier where he protects the stolen paintings from the village of St. Capitulons. According to Abe Simpson during the briefing for the level, the sailors in question fight neither for country nor for God, solely for love.

Waylon Smithers was partly based on how numerous Fox executives and staff members acted towards Barry Diller. The idea for Smithers's orientation came from Sam Simon, who proposed that Smithers should be gay, but the writers should never draw too much attention to it and should try to keep it in the back of their heads. The script for "Blood Feud" originally featured Smithers saying "Just leave me enough to get home to my wife and kids," but the line had to be cut for time. Smithers is voiced by Harry Shearer, who is also the voice of Mr. Burns. Shearer is often able to perform dialogue between the two characters in one take. Dan Castellaneta occasionally fills in for Shearer at table reads and voices Smithers.

Smithers made his first appearance in "Homer's Odyssey," which was the third episode of the first season, although he can be heard over a speaker in The Simpsons series premiere "Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire". In his first visual appearance in "Homer's Odyssey", Smithers was mistakenly animated with the wrong color and was made African American by Gyorgi Peluce, the color stylist. David Silverman has claimed that Smithers was always intended to be "Mr. Burns's white sycophant," and the staff thought it "would be a bad idea to have a black sub-subservient character" and so switched him to his intended color for his next episode. The first appearance of yellow Smithers was "There's No Disgrace Like Home", the fourth episode of the first season.



Smithers's relationship with Mr. Burns has long been a running joke on The Simpsons. Smithers is an obedient and sycophant assistant to Mr. Burns. There have often been strong hints about Smithers's true feelings for his boss, with one of the earliest references being in the season one episode "The Telltale Head". Smithers's sexual orientation has often come into question, with some fans claiming he is a "Burns-sexual" and only attracted to his boss, while others maintain that he is obviously gay. During the Bill Oakley/Josh Weinstein era, they still tried to keep his sexuality difficult to pigeon-hole. There was debate among the writers about his orientation. Al Jean, who thinks of Smithers as being a "Burns-sexual", felt that had Mr. Burns been a woman, then Smithers would not be gay. David Silverman, a former supervising director has said, "[Smithers] seems to be focused on one particular human, as opposed to anything beyond that. [Rather than being gay], he's sort of 'Burns-sexual'".

"Waylon Smithers" is actually an anagram of "Wants him sorely". In a 2006 study conducted by the "Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation", it was determined that nine of the 679 lead and supporting characters on scripted broadcast television were gay or lesbian. Smithers was not included among these nine characters, and it caused a mild online controversy. Patty Bouvier, Marge Simpson's lesbian sister, was included on the list. The debate is referenced in "The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular", when the episode host, Troy McClure is answering viewer questions, and one that is asked is "What is the real deal with Mr. Burns's assistant Smithers? You know what I'm talking about." A montage of various clips that shows Smithers's lust for Mr. Burns follows, and in the end, McClure says "as you can see, the real deal with Waylon Smithers is that he's Mr. Burns's assistant. He's in his early forties, is unmarried, and currently resides in Springfield. Thanks for asking!"

Several of the allusions to Smithers's sexuality have turned into battles with the censors. For example, in Smithers's fantasy of a naked Mr. Burns popping out of a birthday cake in "Rosebud", the censors had not wanted Mr. Burns to be naked. Another example is "Marge Gets a Job", which has a dream sequence where Smithers is sleeping and Burns flies through a window. The sequence shows Burns flying towards him and Smithers looking happy, but originally it went on for a few seconds longer. It had to be trimmed down due to scenes that showed "Mr. Burns landing on a particular position on Smithers's anatomy". There were also issues with "the lump in his bed", which the animators had been drawn as his knee, but the censors had misinterpreted.

In the early seasons, Smithers has an occasional catchphrase, which comes from a recurring joke that Mr. Burns never remembers who Homer is. In some scenes, Smithers and Burns would watch Homer over a security camera Burns will ask, "Who is that man?", to which Smithers would reply, "That's Homer Simpson, sir, one of your [insert drones, organ banks, carbon blobs, etc.] from sector 7G."

In the second season, the writers started to enjoy writing about Smithers and Burns's relationship, and the writers often pitched episodes with them as the focus, but many never came to fruition.

In 2004, Simpsons producers announced that one of the characters was going to come out of the closet. Speculation on who it would be was printed in newspapers throughout the United States and Canada (even claiming Smithers's "sexual orientation was about the worst-kept secret in Springfield,") as well as in Australia, New Zealand, Ireland, (the Irish Independent called Smithers "too obvious" a choice) and the United Kingdom. Despite Matt Groening joking that it would be Homer, The Boston Herald calculated the odds of several characters being gay with Smithers at a million to one. PlanetOut hosted an online poll in the weeks prior to the episode to determine based on "cartoon gaydar" who was gay on the Simpsons, with 97% of the respondents choosing Smithers. Jenny Stewart, the entertainment editor at the site said of the poll, "We've never had such an avalanche of people voting in any of our polls as we did on The Simpsons." After the guessing, it was Patty Bouvier who came out.

Reception
In a 2007 article, Entertainment Weekly named Smithers the sixteenth greatest sidekick of all time. They have also described Smithers and Mr. Burns as being "TV's most functional dysfunctional couple". Star News Online named "Smithers's fey way" as one of the four hundred reasons why they loved The Simpsons. In a 2003 article, Entertainment Weekly named the Who Shot Mr. Burns? duo of episodes, in which Smithers was prominently featured, 25th best episode.

Smithers was made into an action figure, and four different versions were included as part of the World of Springfield toy line. The first shows Smithers in his normal attire with a picture of Mr. Burns at his feet and was released in 2000 as part of "wave two". The second, released in 2002 as part of "wave ten", is called "resort Smithers" and shows him dressed as he was at the resort in the episode "Homer the Smithers".

In 2003, a series of figures exclusive to Electronics Boutique was released, and a set of one Mr. Burns figure and two different Smithers toys based on the episode "Rosebud" were included. One, called "Bobo Smithers" shows Smithers dressed as Mr. Burns's teddy bear Bobo; and the other, known as "future Smithers", shows him as a robotic dog. A "Future Burns" was included in the set as a companion to "Future Smithers" and depicts Burns as how he appeared as a robot at the end of the episode.

Trivia

 * Marge once disguised herself as Smithers in the episode "At Long Last Leave"; later in the same episode, Mr. Teeny did the same thing.
 * Slithers is a parody and a pun on Smithers; he appears in "Treehouse of Horror XII".
 * He co-owned Moe's Tavern in its gay version Mo's in "Flaming Moe".
 * He has a superhero alter ego Kid Sourpuss.
 * He is 35 years old.
 * He is right-handed.
 * He was revealed to be allergic to bees when he was stung by a bee in "22 Short Films About Springfield".
 * He needs to take medication for his thyroid, or else he will die, as seen in "Midnight Rx".
 * He is lactose intolerant, which is revealed in "The Kid is All Right".