Homer vs. Patty and Selma

"Sure, Homer, I can loan you all the money you need. However, since you have no collateral, I'm going to have to break your legs in advance."

- Moe Szyslak

"Homer vs. Patty and Selma" is the seventeenth episode of Season 6. It originally aired on February 26, 1995. The episode was written by Brent Forrester and directed by Mark Kirkland. Mel Brooks and Susan Sarandon guest star.

Homer loses all his money in pumpkin stocks and must turn to Patty and Selma for a loan. He tries his best to keep it a secret from Marge. Meanwhile, Bart is late for physical education class sign-ups and has to take a ballet class.

Plot
Homer decides to try his hand in a financial investment by investing in Halloween pumpkins. Thinking that they will peak in January, he does not sell them by Halloween and loses his entire investment. Now short on money and late on a mortgage payment, he tries to borrow it, but with no avail. Meanwhile, Patty and Selma have received a promotion at the DMV and have more disposable income. As a last resort, Homer asks the two if they will lend him the money. They agree, but he must become their loyal servant. Patty and Selma make Homer's life a living hell. Not long afterwards, Marge discovers that Homer borrowed money from her sisters.

To earn more money, Homer decides to become a chauffeur, but is pulled over when he does not have a chauffeur's license. When he goes to the DMV with Marge to apply for one, Patty and Selma are his evaluators. The two mercilessly fail his driving and written test. Just after stamping his test with a large "Fail" stamp, the two light up cigarettes, but are immediately spotted by their supervisor. Their supervisor tells them that smoking on the job is an offense that could cost them their promotions. While initially happy about the situation he notices that Marge is worried about her sisters and to avoid letting her down, Homer acts quickly and claims the cigarettes as his own. The two are grudgingly thankful, and Homer coerces them to clear his debt in lieu of his favor to them.

The subplot consists of Bart taking up ballet. After cutting class, Bart is distressed to discover that students were choosing their physical education classes on that day. The only class with places left available is ballet. At first Bart is embarrassed, as he considers ballet a "girl sport" and is the only male in the class. However, he takes a liking to the class when he discovers that he has a latent talent for the dance form, and the teacher invites him to star in a school ballet performance. Fearful of being taunted by his fellow students he performs while wearing a mask, but takes it off after discovering that his classmates are impressed with his dancing abilities. When several bullies discover that it is Bart they decide to beat him up, and he is forced to run from them. He attempts to escape by jumping a trench, but fails to make it and is injured. When the bullies leave (as Bart got hurt anyway), Lisa comes to console him, but she leaves and doesn't call for medical attention.

Reception
Chris Turner writes in Planet Simpson that the scene where Homer "smashes a dinner plate over his head" is one of his favorite Homer moments. "I'd like to say it's the defining Homer moment, but that would do a grave injustice to the extraordinary dramatic achievement that is Homer J. Simpson," Turner comments. Writing in I Can't Believe It's a Bigger and Better Updated Unofficial Simpsons Guide, Warren Martyn and Adrian Wood comment on the episode "Quite a fun one this", and highlight the machinations of Patty and Selma: "Patty and Selma have rarely been more evil than here - they are fabulously cruel." In a review of the sixth season of The Simpsons, Colin Jacobson of DVD Movie Guide writes: "Homer’s disdain for Marge’s sisters – and vice versa – has always led to terrific sparks, and "Vs." provides another great round in their eternal battle. It’s hilarious to see Homer indebted to the Terrible Two..."

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