Million-Dollar Abie

Million Dollar Abie is an episode from the seventeenth season of The Simpsons. It originally aired on April 2, 2006.

Synopsis
When it is announced that the commissioner of Pro Football (Bud Armstrong) wants to expand the league, Homer leads the charge to get the new franchise in Springfield. At first his family doesn't think he could do it, but Homer manages to put forth a surprisingly strong package for the Springfield Meltdowns and the new Duff Beer Krusty Burger Buzz Cola Costington's Department Store Kwik-E-Mart Stupid Flanders Park.

The commissioner narrows down the choice of the two cities to either Springfield or Los Angeles. L.A. puts forth an anti-Springfield video hosted by Rob Reiner and features a song sung by celebrity impersonators that ends with them singing "Springfield Blows". All the owners decide that Springfield is the lesser of two evils, and the Commissioner awards the new team to Springfield. The town gets "Meltmania" and "Down syndrome" and quickly builds Homer's new park and paints the town in the team colours (orange and purple) and changes all of street names to football related names.

On the day when Springfield is officially announced as the new team, the Commissioner gets confused by all of the new street names and gets lost. He stops for directions at the Simpsons' house and is greeted by Grampa Simpson, who welcomes him in. However, Grampa starts to fear that the commissioner is a burgler and attacks him and ties him up. The rest of the family arrives home disappointed that the commissioner didn't show and is shocked to find him tied up in their living room. The commissioner is so angry that he declares that the Meltdowns will never be and leaves, never to return.

The entire town starts to hate Grampa, and the expensive stadium has to be used for farmers' markets. Grampa is so depressed that he decides to seek out a doctor who will help him commit suicide. The doctor tells Grampa to reconsider, and Grampa decides that if anyone calls him in the next 24 hours, he won't go through with his plan. The call never comes and Grampa goes back to the clinic the next day. Grampa comes very close to being killed but the police show up just in time to stop it.

Grampa thinks he's dead and runs through the town, seeing "Hamburger Heaven" and a Charlie Chaplin impersonator. He soon learns that he isn't dead, gets a new lease of life and decides to live it up. Meanwhile, the city decides to turn the unused football stadium into an arena for bull fighting. Despite Lisa's protests, Grampa decides to become a matador. Grampa wins his first fight with a bull, but he decides that killing bulls isn't his forte and talks to Lisa about giving up. Grampa isn't sure, but in the next fight he sees the bull that he's about to kill and decides to spare its life. He releases all the bulls, which immediately start running through the streets of Springfield, causing a great deal of destruction. Lisa is proud of Grampa and the two reconcile.

Trivia
1. Power tool whirling 2. Hammering 3. Typewriter key clanking, return carriage dings 4. Pinball machine jingling 5. Bowling pins falling 6. European siren wails 7. Children in a ghostly voice saying "Ring around the rosy." DUFF BEER KRUSTYBURGER BUZZ COLA COSTINGTON'S DEPARTMENT STORE KWIK-E-MART STUPID FLANDERS PARK
 * The teaser for the upcoming The Simpsons Movie, which had previously only appeared during the previews for Ice Age: The Meltdown, made its TV debut during this episode. Homer's dialogue is different: in the movie he expressed uncertainty; in the TV airing, he says "I forgot what I'm supposed to say!" Both versions end with him saying "Uh oh, we better get started" when the movie's release date of July 27, 2007 is given.
 * When Abe is waiting for someone to call him, the simulated time lapse effect and music parody the movie Koyaanisqatsi, a movie parodied seven years earlier in the episode "Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder".
 * The bodies of the Blue Man Group can be seen in the Las Vegas garbage barge.
 * During the scene where the citizens of Springfield are running from the bulls, you can see a bearded man with a hat in the corner. He is modelled after long time Simpsons writer George Meyer and has appeared in several episodes, notably as one of the writers in "The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show" and one of the bachelors in "Special Edna".
 * An outtake shown during the closing credits shows a young Abe "naming names" to the House Un-American Activities Committee.
 * The sounds that can be heard in the basement when Homer was in there are:
 * The full name for the new Springfield Stadium is (as shown on Homer's model):
 * The names Rob Reiner covered up with his first and last name in the video are Carl Reiner, his father, and Rob Lowe.
 * The euthanasia machine Abe is hooked up to is called the diePod, an obvious spoof of the ever popular iPod series of MP3 players created by Apple.
 * This was the fourth episode of The Simpsons to be classified M in Australia. It received an advisory notice for "Adult themes". The episode premiered on Network Ten at 8.30pm, Tuesday 8th August, followed by a re-run of Treehouse of Horror XV.

Cultural References

 * The title of this episode is a play on the 2004 movie, Million Dollar Baby
 * The celebrities who appear in the "Springfield Blows" video include Michael Jackson, Jack Nicholson, Steven Spielberg, Jim Jam Bonks (The Simpsons' parody of Jar Jar Binks), The Who, Bono, Sting, Barbra Streisand, Sylvester Stallone, Freddy Krueger and El Kabong.
 * The euthanasia center is a spoof of the one in Soylent Green.
 * One of the options on the diePod's menu is "Megadeath", an allusion to the thrash metal band Megadeth.
 * The Doctor that helps Grampa try to kill himself an obvious reference to Dr. Jack Kevorkian.
 * The name of the Glenn Miller Orchestra song that Grampa requested may be pennyslvania 6-5000.
 * The song that plays when Abe 'lives it up' is Superman by R.E.M. from their 1986 album, Lifes Rich Pageant.

Goofs

 * When Marge makes her comments about the bull taunter and bull stabber, she points to them conversely. When she mentions the bull taunter, the picador who lances the bull is shown.
 * After the diePod is hauled away, there is junk on the floor. In the next shot of the floor, it is clean.
 * When Maggie's words are translated it is revealed that she thinks Homer is her "bald mommy." However in Lisa's First Word she clearly knows who Homer is, as her first words were "Daddy."

Quotes

 * Grandpa: I thought he was gonna rob the house and steal all them pictures of Bert and Lucy!


 * Dr. Egoyan: As you surrender your body, what musical and visual orientations would you like to experience? Abe: I want to hear the Glenn Miller Orchestra and see cops beating up hippies!


 * NFL Commissioner: (looking at street signs) The names on this map say Main Street and Evergreen Terrace, but all I can see are Two Point Conversion Avenue and Off-Season Knee Surgery Boulevard.


 * Homer: You're a useless old man. Name one thing you do for this family! Grandpa: I watch the baby. Marge: Where is the baby? Grandpa: You left me with a baby?!


 * Maggie (in baby talk with subtitles): Bald mommy is sure to fail!


 * Grampa: If I knock him out, I'll be a hero. And people will listen to my loose-brained nonsense.

''L.A. makes great movies And awesome TV shows Springfield don't make nothin' 'Cause Springfield blows Springfield blows (3 times) Yes, Springfield blows ''
 * Lyrics to "Springfield Blows":

Homer: Lisa's right! It is a cool, super sport!
 * Lisa: No wait, wait! Bullfighting is a cruel, pseudo-sport!


 * Homer: I've come up with our team — the Springfield Meltdowns! And here is our stadium, sponsored by corporate naming. It's the Duff Beer Krustyburger Buzz Cola Costington's Department Store Kwik-E-Mart Stupid Flanders Park! So, Homer do good? Marge: Homer do great! (they kiss) Uh, maybe Homer brush teeth first.

Speaker: You're just here to test the microphone. Young Abe: Fred Wilson, my brother Bill, Dom DiMaggio, the paper boy, Howdy Doody, Josef Stalin... (gets removed by security guards)
 * Young Abe: (at an HUAC meeting) I would like to name the following friends of mine as members of the Communist party.

Jimbo: Who ya talkin' to? Your imaginary girlfriend? Sideshow Mel: Oh! Isn't your mother a well-known whore? Jimbo: (gasp) You win this round, Mel.
 * Sideshow Mel: "Touchdown Avenue"? Delightful!


 * Dr. Egoyan (waiting for Grandpa to die): One more minute. (Chief Wiggum, Eddie, and Lou burst in) Wiggum: Freeze! The voters just overturned the assisted suicide law! Dr. Egoyan (getting handcuffed): I'll kill you all!...when the law is reversed. Wiggum: I'd like to see you try!...when the law is reversed.


 * Souvenir Jacket Guy: We should make the stadium a bull fighting ring. If the bull dies, the crowd goes wild. If Grandpa dies, the crowd goes wild. Either way, we make a fortune.


 * Lenny (after Grandpa opens the outer gate): I don't know what he's doing and I'm smart. Not book smart or street smart or brain smart, but something.

Broadcasting Information
USA/Canada UK Australia
 * 1st Airdate: Sunday, April 2, 2006
 * 2nd Airdate: Sunday, June 4, 2006
 * 1st Airdate: Sunday, April 30, 2006
 * 2nd Airdate: Friday, May 5, 2006 (Encore Screening)
 * 3rd Airdate: Monday, August 7, 2006
 * 4th Airdate: Tuesday, August 29, 2006
 * 1st Airdate: Tuesday, August 8, 2006