The Last Temptation of Homer
$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)
Homer the Vigilante
Smithers: Even so, sir, we could stand to lay off a few employees.
Mr. Burns: [enthusiastically] Oh, very well! [points at some monitors] Lay off him, him, him, him...
[Mr. Burns sees several power plant employees hard at work whom he chooses to fire, but then a monitor shows Homer staring into space, but wearing glasses.]
Mr. Burns: Hmm, better keep the egghead. He just might come in handy.

Springfield Airport. Bart is there to intercept Robert Goulet, who was intended to play at Mr. Burns' Casino.
Robert Goulet: Are you sure you are from the casino?
Bart: I am from a casino.
Robert Goulet: Good enough. Let's go.

[Bart takes Robert Goulet to his treehouse]
Robert Goulet: Are you sure this is the casino? I think I should call my manager.
Nelson brandishes his fist at Goulet.
Nelson: Your manager tells you to SHUT UP!
Robert Goulet: Vera said that?

Robert Goulet: {singing} Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg. The Batmobile lost a wheel and Joker got away. Hey!
Kids applaud.
Robert Goulet:{speaking} Thank you! Thank you very much.
Goulet swings his microphone which accidentally hits Milhouse.
Milhouse: OW!
Robert Goulet: Oh, I'm sorry, kid.

Marge: Oh no, Lisa's geography pageant! How did it go?
Cut to Springfield Elementary. Lisa is wearing Homer's crudely made Florida or "FLOREDA" costume, while Ralph taped a piece of paper to himself with "IDAHO" written on it.
Principal Skinner: And this award goes to two students who clearly had no help from their parents whatsoever, Lisa Simpson and Ralph Wiggum!
Ralph: I'm Idaho!
Principal Skinner: Yes, of course you are.

[Lisa walks into Homer's bedroom]
Lisa: Mom!
Homer: Huh -- wha -- Lisa! What's up?
Lisa: I just had a bad dream!
Homer: Oh, sure. You just lie down and tell me all about it.
Lisa: Well, I know it's absurd, but I dreamed the bogeyman was after me, and he's hiding under --
Homer: AAAHHHHH! BOOGIE MAN! You nail the windows shut, I'll get the gun!
[Homer kicks open the door to Bart's room]
Homer: Bart, I don't want to alarm you, but there may be a bogeyman or bogeymen in the house!

[Homer finds Henry Kissinger's glasses in the men's room toilet, puts them on, and puts his finger on his temple like the scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz.]
Homer: The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side.
Man in stall: That's a right triangle, ya idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Season 4 Season 5 Quotes Season 6
Homer's Barbershop QuartetCape FeareHomer Goes to CollegeRosebudTreehouse of Horror IVMarge on the LamBart's Inner ChildBoy-Scoutz 'n the HoodThe Last Temptation of Homer$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)Homer the VigilanteBart Gets FamousHomer and ApuLisa vs. Malibu StacyDeep Space HomerHomer Loves FlandersBart Gets an ElephantBurns' HeirSweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss SongThe Boy Who Knew Too MuchLady Bouvier's LoverSecrets of a Successful Marriage
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