The PTA Disbands
'Round Springfield
The Springfield Connection
Homer: Lisa, when you get to be our age, you learn a few things. Like when a sign says 'Do not feed the bears' (holds up his arm with a bear cub having its claws and teeth sunk into it) man, you better not feed the bears.

Bart: Mrs Krabappel, I can't take the test, I have a stomach ache.
Mrs. Krabappel: Well, that's a lame excuse for an excuse - Ha!
Bart: Look, if you ignore me and I die, you'll get in a lot of trouble.
Mrs. Krabappel: Read page six of the School Charter.
Bart: No teacher shall be held accountable if Bart Simpson dies.
Mrs. Krabappel: We're also absolved if Milhouse gets eaten by the school snake.
(Cut to Milhouse, who has been eaten by the school snake.)
Milhouse: Hey, cool, there's a rabbit in here!

Homer: What I'm saying is, all we have to do is go down to the pound and get a new jazzman.
Lisa: [Cries And Weeps] Oh, Dad! (she runs off crying and weeping again)
Homer: Oh, I blew it again. What? [Maggie shuts Homer up with a pacifier and he makes sucking noises] Mmmmm...

Krusty: It wasn't my fault. It was the Percodan! If you ask me, that stuff rots your brain. And now a word from our new sponsor: PERCODAN?! Aw, crap!

Grampa: Death stalks you at every turn!
Lisa: Grampa!
Grampa: Well, it does! [points at Maggie] Aaaahhh! Gah! There it is! DEATH!
Lisa: It's only Maggie.
Grampa: [chuckling] Oh, yeah. You know, at my age, the mind starts playing tricks. So...AAAAAHHHH! DEATH! [points at Snowball II]
Lisa: That's only the cat.
Grampa: Oh. [points at Maggie again] AAAAAAHHHH! DEATH!
Lisa: That's Maggie again, Grampa.
Grampa: Oh. Where were we. [points towards something, probably the door] AAAAAAAHHHH! DEATH!

Homer: Lisa, honey, if you really want to preserve his memory, I recommend getting a tattoo. [rolls up his left sleeve] It preserves the things you love. [notices his tattoo] Starland Vocal Band? They suck!
Grampa: [outside, still obsessed over death "stalking him", pointing at the bird bath] AAAAAAAAHHHH! DEATH!

Homer: And I won't rest until I've gotten a hot dog!
Marge: Homer, this is a cemetery.
Hot Dog Vendor: Hot dogs! Get your hot dogs here!
Homer: Woo-hoo!
Marge: What do you do, follow my husband around?
Hot Dog Vendor: Lady, he's putting my kids through college.

(After Bart's surgery)
Marge: How's my special little guy?
Lisa: How're you feeling, big brother?
(Maggie sucks on her pacifier)
Homer: Aw, this is wonderful! You're alive!
Bart: (hatefully) No thanks to you, Homer.
Homer: Why, you little-- (chokes Bart for a while)
Dr Hibbert: Now, Homer, please. The boy's just had a very serious operation.
Homer: (moodily) All right.
Season 5 Season 6 Quotes Season 7
Bart of DarknessLisa's RivalAnother Simpsons Clip ShowItchy & Scratchy LandSideshow Bob RobertsTreehouse of Horror VBart's GirlfriendLisa on IceHomer BadmanGrampa vs. Sexual InadequacyFear of FlyingHomer the GreatAnd Maggie Makes ThreeBart's CometHomie the ClownBart vs. AustraliaHomer vs. Patty and SelmaA Star is BurnsLisa's WeddingTwo Dozen and One GreyhoundsThe PTA Disbands'Round SpringfieldThe Springfield ConnectionLemon of TroyWho Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One)
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