Homer: Lisa, when you get to be our age, you learn a few things. Like when a sign says 'Do not feed the bears' (holds up his arm with a bear cub having its claws and teeth sunk into it) man, you better not feed the bears.
Marge: (Quizzing Bart) Who was George Washington Carver?
Bart: The guy who chopped up George Washington?
Bart: Mrs Krabappel, I can't take the test, I have a stomach ache.
Grampa: Well, it does! [points at Maggie] Aaaahhh! Gah! There it is! DEATH!
Lisa: It's only Maggie.
Grampa: [chuckling] Oh, yeah. You know, at my age, the mind starts playing tricks. So...AAAAAHHHH! DEATH! [points at Snowball II]
Lisa: That's only the cat.
Grampa: Oh. [points at Maggie again] AAAAAAHHHH! DEATH!
Lisa: That's Maggie again, Grampa.
Grampa: Oh. Where were we. [points towards something, probably the door] AAAAAAAHHHH! DEATH!
Krusty the Clown: I contend the tourists were decapitated before they entered the Krustyland House of Knives. Next question.
Homer: Lisa, honey, if you really want to preserve his memory, I recommend getting a tattoo. [rolls up his left sleeve] It preserves the things you love. [notices his tattoo] Starland Vocal Band? They suck!
Grampa: [outside, still obsessed over death "stalking him", pointing at the bird bath] AAAAAAAAHHHH! DEATH!
Homer: And I won't rest until I've gotten a hot dog!
Bill Cosby: You see, the kids, they listen to the rap music which gives them the brain damage. With their hipping and the hopping and the bipping and the bopping. So they don't know what the jazz is all about. You see, jazz is like a Jell-O Pudding Pop. No. Actually, it's more like Kodak film. No. Actually, jazz is like the New Coke. It'll be around forever.