Stop or My Dog Will Shoot!
24 Minutes
You Kent Always Say What You Want
Principal Skinner: Lord, give me guidance. Yes, the guidance room, the detention center. Thank you, Mrs. Lord.

Bart: Lisa, they're gonna put a stink bomb in the school. I might be able to stop 'em, but I'll need a schematic of Jimbo's house.
Lisa: Jimbo made a couple of drawings of his house in the second grade, but I can't vouch for their accuracy. The teacher gave him a frowny face.

Milhouse: Lisa, if I don't make it, there's a letter in my locker I want you to read.
Lisa: I've read your letter.
Principal Skinner: We've all read it.

Apu: Oh my God, if a dead fish and a homeless person had a baby, and the baby puked, and a dog ate the puke, this smells like the rear end of that dog!

Marge: If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they would have a tummy full of pocket garbage.

(Marge unties Bart and kisses him)
Marge: Oh, my special little guy! I'm so glad you're okay.
(Homer kisses Bart)
Homer: And I'm so glad you taste like hotdogs!

Homer: (goes out of Kwik-E-Mart) Hey, Milhouse! What are you spying at? Those bullies?

Lisa: I've got something! The sixth grade security camera shows three empty desks.
Principal Skinner: Enhance!
(Camera zooms in on desk with "Skinner Stinks" carved into it)
Principal Skinner: Dehance! Dehance!

Jack Bauer: Previously, on 24... I mean "The Simpsons".

Jack Bauer: The following takes place between 2:34 p.m. and 3:04 p.m. Or maybe it's a.m. Whichever one is the morning one. It's not that one.

Jack Bauer: Chloe, I need those schematics now.
Bart: What? Who is this?
Jack Bauer: I'm Jack Bauer. Who the hell are you?
Bart: Me? I'm... Ahmed Adoudi.
Jack Bauer: Chloe, find out all you can about Ahmed Adoudi. Does anyone there know Ahmed Adoudi?
Chloe O'Brian: Ahmed Adoudi, wealthy Saudi financier disappeared to Afghanistan in the late '90s.
Jack Bauer: Really?
Chloe O'Brian: No, Jack, it's a joke name. You're being set up.
Jack Bauer: Damn it!

[Jack Bauer comes in by dropping in from an air vent]
Jack Bauer: [in megaphone] Good work, Lisa!
Bart: What about me?
Jack Bauer: [aims his gun at Bart] Bart Simpson, twelve minutes ago, you made an annoying prank phone call to me. All units move in!
[a group of units move into the gym and they level their guns at Bart, but Bauer puts his away]
Jack Bauer: I pulled ever single field agent off all other cases to track you down and bring you to justice. It was a tough decision, but I think I made the right call.
[A big explosion happens in the distance, and the crowd gasps]
Jack Bauer: It's okay. That was Shelbyville.
[everyone sighs with relief]

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