Homer Scissorhands
500 Keys
The Ned-liest Catch
Bart: Time is get my mischief on. (Bart holds a key belonging to U.S. Mail.) Let's starts with a little federal crime.
(Bart opens a mail box.)
Random Guy: Oh man, thank god. I can get back that angry letter I wrote to my boss.
Random Woman: I really didn't want that subscription to The Atlantic.
Professor Frink: Yes, and this patent application for a robot dog could use a bit more tinkering. With the biting and chewing on my tuchus. (Robot Dog shoots lasters.) Oh, the laster eyes! Why did I give them to him?
Bart: What the...? I tried to bad and I did good.
Lovejoy: Haw-haw!

Rod: Daddy, did you make that devil's music?
Ned: It wasn't me, boys. It was the train.
Todd: What train, Daddy?
Ned: It-It was right there. With the and the, you know.
Rod: Jesus cries blood every time you lie.

Clancy Wiggum: Things on the ground are out of my jurisdiction.

Chalmers: I oversee fourteen schools and I always find myself at yours discussing a Simpson kid.

Gil Gunderson: I'm alive and you're my naked fairy god boy!

Bart: (on a window washing platform) The last place anyone would expect to see a moon - the sky. (drops his shorts to the windows as the platform rises)

Homer: When we see each other again, you'll be an old man and I'll be a baby!

Homer: First the good news: two of your kids are not locked in the car.

Homer: Cake, will you make my stomach the happiest bag of acid in the world?

Lisa: [gasps] Otto? Are you the one that left the message on the blackboard?
Otto: Yeah. It was me. I was the bus driver, when those sweet young angles were swallowed up by the river. [sobs, unbuckles the belt to his coat, and walks towards the river] Now I'm gonna join them.
Lisa: OTTO! They're just mannequins!
Otto: Then...I'm not responsible for a horrible tragedy! And I didn't do anything wrong by fleeing the scene, and not reporting it, and killing that hobo with the big mouth! [the Simpsons look at him strangely] I might've imagined that last part.

Season 21 Season 22 Quotes Season 23
Elementary School MusicalLoan-a LisaMoneyBARTTreehouse of Horror XXILisa Simpson, This Isn't Your LifeThe Fool MontyHow Munched is That Birdie in the Window?The Fight Before ChristmasDonnie FatsoMoms I'd Like to ForgetFlaming MoeHomer the FatherThe Blue and the GrayAngry Dad: The MovieThe Scorpion's TaleA Midsummer's Nice DreamLove is a Many Strangled ThingThe Great SimpsinaThe Real Housewives of Fat TonyHomer Scissorhands500 KeysThe Ned-liest Catch
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