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A Father's Watch |
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- (In Froggy Heaven...)
- Elderly Frog: George, I'm sorry to see you up here.
- George: Well, yes, but I died for a worthy cause; as we speak, my body is about to be dissected by a budding young scientist.
- Elderly Frog: Let's observe the dedication to learning of this ten-year-old scholar by the name of Bart Simpson.
- (Down there, Bart starts "work" on the dissection:)
- Bart: (sing-songily) Stab-stab-stab-stab-stab-die/Stab-stab-die-die-death-kill!
- (The frogs from above are aghast)
- Elderly Frog: ...well, his... passion is undeniable.
- George: Yes. Very... very impressive.
- (Springfield Elementary: tonight's presentation - "Successorizing Your Child".)
- Dr. Clarity: Getting your child established on the path to success isn't easy. I was driving my daughter from her falconry tournament to lute class, when she turned to me and asked... (speaking Mandarin) ...which is Mandarin for, "How do you do it?" She and I are learning Mandarin. The answer? (speaking Mandarin) Positive reinforcement.
- (The crowd murmurs, with Marge taking notes)
- Dr. Clarity: In a recent study... (slide shows a sad mouse) this mouse was denied food whenever he failed to find his way through a maze. (the maze is shown...) The mouse ended up dying... (...and then the mouse, all covered up) of low self-esteem.
- (The crowd is shocked, then takes pictures)
- Marge: I had a nightmare where that happened to Bart, but I never told you about it.
- Homer: I love it when you don't tell me things...
- (Dr. Clarity has shown that praise can motivate a child to do better.)
- Luanne: (gasping) Trophies! So that's the easy answer.
- Chief Wiggum: If Ralphie's shelf says he's a winner, then he'll be one!
- Moe: And Moe yells a third thing to feel part of the group!
- (Homer has just arrived home with the watch...)
- Homer: Oh, Bart, look what Daddy's got now!
- (As he prepares to kick down the door, he realizes that Bart is crying. Inside, the boy is with Santa's Little Helper...)
- Bart: Grampa was the only person who believed in me... but when he finds out I lost the watch, even he'll give up!
- Homer: Stay strong, Homer. Don't go soft on him now... this is a once-in-a-lifetime face-rubbing-in! (he struggles to kick down the door) Come on, foot...! Kick, damn you!