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The Day the Violence Died
A Fish Called Selma
Bart on the Road
Lisa: Dad, what's a Muppet?
Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop and it's not quite a puppet, but, man... So, to answer your question, I don't know.

Troy: That's right, boys. Troy's back from the gutter, and he's brought someone with him!

Parker: Troy! Mac Parker. Ever hear of...Planet of the Apes?
Troy: Uh... the movie or the planet?
Parker: The brand-new multi-million dollar musical, and you are starring...as the human.
Troy: It's the part I was born to play, baby!

Selma: You know, smoke actually smells good when it's coming outta you.

Troy: My good looks paid for that pool, and my talent filled it with water.

Troy: Yeah, that's a good idea, Homer, but they've already made some movies about World War II.
Homer: Aw, hell! Well, what about Dracula?

Marge: Oh, Homer, that's just an urban legend. People don't do that type of thing with fish. Troy McClure's a perfect gentleman, like Bing Crosby or J.F.K.

Selma: Is this a sham marriage?
Troy: Sure baby, is that a problemo?

Troy: That's too funny! I can't remember when I've heard a funnier anecdote! Okay, now you tell one.
Selma: Well, not much happens to me, but I once had dinner with a movie star and it was the most wonderful night of my life.
Troy: Really? Who was it? George Segal? I hear he plays the banjo.

Homer: Why does a great guy like you want to marry a guy like Selma?

Selma: Come on Jub-Jub, lets go home and I'll heat you up a nice roach.
(Jub-Jub Chirps)

Troy: Think what it'll mean. Not just the McBain movie, but maybe my own fragrance: "Smellin' of Troy"!

Louie: Hey I thought you said Troy McClure was dead.
Fat Tony: No, what I said is that he sleeps with the fishes! You see...
Louie: Uh, Tony, please, no. I just ate a whole plate of dingamagoo.

Troy: Hello, Selma Bouvier, It's Troy McClure. You might remember me from such dates as last night's dinner.

Troy: You wouldn't ask a handsome man like me to wear glasses! It'd be a crime against nature!

Marge: I've never seen Selma happier.
Homer: That reminds me... Troy said something interesting last night at the bar. Apparently, he doesn't really love Selma and the marriage is just a sham to help his career. Well, enough talk. Let's snuggle.

Troy: So, working at the D.M.V. must be very interesting.
Selma: Well, I think I'm getting Repetitive Stress Disorder from scratching my butt all day.

Selma: Are you gay?
Troy: Gay?! I wish! If I were gay there'd be no problem! No, what I have is a romantic abnormality, one so unbelievable that it must be hidden from the public at all cost. You see...
Selma: Stop!

Selma: Look, I'm sorry. A loveless marriage is one thing. We're not hurting anybody. But bringing a child into a loveless family is something I just can't do.
Troy: Oh, great! We'll adopt.

Parker: Paramount wants you for a buddy comedy with Rob Lowe and Hugh Grant.
Troy: THOSE SICK FREAKS?!?

Chief Wiggum: Oh! I'm seeing stars here!
Troy: (to Chief Wiggum) No, just one. Hi I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such films as "The Greatest Story Ever Hula'd" and "They Came to Burgle Carnegie Hall".                   


Season 6 Season 7 Quotes Season 8
Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two)Radioactive ManHome Sweet Homediddly-Dum-DoodilyBart Sells His SoulLisa the VegetarianTreehouse of Horror VIKing-Size HomerMother SimpsonSideshow Bob's Last GleamingThe Simpsons 138th Episode SpectacularMarge Be Not ProudTeam HomerTwo Bad NeighborsScenes from the Class Struggle in SpringfieldBart the FinkLisa the IconoclastHomer the SmithersThe Day the Violence DiedA Fish Called SelmaBart on the Road22 Short Films About SpringfieldRaging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"Much Apu About NothingHomerpaloozaSummer of 4 Ft. 2
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