Changes: A Star is Burns/Quotes

Revision as of 06:11, 4 March 2019

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◄	Homer vs. Patty and Selma

A Star is Burns

Lisa's Wedding

►

[The citizens of Springfield have a town meeting to discuss improving the town's image and attracting more tourism. Marge suggests hosting a film festival and having townspeople enter their own movies.]

Mayor Quimby: All in favor of Marge Simpson's film festival idea?

Crowd: [chanting in unison] Film festival! Film festival!

Marge: You like my idea? Actually, I have several others--

Crowd: [in unison, cutting her off] Don't push your luck! Don't push your luck!

[On TV, Rainier Wolfcastle is appearing on Coming Attractions, Jay Sherman's show. Wolfcastle talks about his new movie, McBain: Let's Get Silly, which depicts him as a comedian, alternating between telling bad jokes and dispatching hecklers (and many other audience members) with various weapons.]

Wolfcastle: The film is just me in front of a brick wall for an hour and a half. It cost eighty million dollars.

Jay: [disgusted] How do you sleep at night?

Wolfcastle: On top of a pile of money with many beautiful ladies.

Jay: [even more disgusted] Just asking. Yeesh!

[After reading Marge's invite, Jay Sherman is debating whether to travel to Springfield when Rainier Wolfcastle approaches him.]

Wolfcastle: Sherman, I just realized you insulted me. [He pulls out a rifle]. Now you will die!

Jay: Hey, nudnick... uh, your shoe's untied!

Wolfcastle: From here they appear to be tied, but I will go in for a closer look anyway.

[He bends over to examine his shoes.]

Jay: Taxi! [A taxi pulls up and he gets inside.] To the airport!

[The taxi speeds off. Many hours pass until night falls.]

Wolfcastle: On closer inspection, these are loafers.

[At the airport, the Simpsons meet Jay Sherman, who has come to judge the Springfield Film Festival.]

Marge: Hello, I'm Marge Simpson, and this is my husband, Homer.

Jay: Oh, nice to meet you, Marge. I saw your hair from the plane. [to Homer] And this must be the man who didn't know if he had a pimple or a boil.

Homer: It was a Gummi Bear.

[Preparing to make his movie for the film festival, Mr. Burns meets with Señor Spielbergo, his director.]

Burns: Listen, Señor Spielbergo, I want you to do for me what Spielberg did for Oskar Schindler.

Spielbergo: [looking doubtful] Er, Schindler es bueno. Señor Burns es el diablo.

Burns: Listen, Spielbergo, Schindler and I are like peas in a pod: We're both factory owners, we both made shells for the Nazis, but mine worked, dammit! Now go out there and win me that festival!

[At the Simpson house, Jay Sherman talks with Patty and Selma while Homer watches.]

Patty: Okay, Sherman, you're a movie expert.

Selma: So tell us. Who's gay?

Jay: Oh, I don't know ... Harvey Fierstein.

Selma: No!

Patty: Who else?

[Homer whispers into Jay's ear.]

Jay: Oh. MacGyver's gay.

[Patty and Selma growl and advance on Jay, who cowers from them. Homer giggles.]

[The scene shifts to outside. Jay has been stripped to his underwear and is dangling from the rain gutter by the waistband of his shorts.]

Bart: [seeing Jay and laughing] You badmouthed MacGyver, didn't you?

Dr. Hibbert: [walking to the movies in drag, then seeing the film festival is being held] Oh, I thought they were showing The Rocky Horror Picture Show tonight.

[At the film festival, Hans Moleman's film Man Getting Hit by Football has just been shown.]

Homer: [laughing to the point of tears] This contest is over! Give that man the ten thousand dollars!

Jay Sherman: [disapprovingly] This isn't America's Funniest Home Videos.

Homer: But ... the ball! His groin! It works on so many levels! [still laughing] Roll it again!

Mr. Burns: Smithers, are they booing me?

Smithers: Oh, no, sir. They're saying Boo-urns, Boo-urns.

Burns: [to crowd] Are you saying 'boo' or 'Boo-urns'?

Crowd: Boooooooooooo!

Hans Moleman: [to himself] I was saying 'Boo-urns'.

[The jury members are casting their votes for grand prize at the Springfield Film Festival. Jay Sherman is dismayed that Mr. Burns' movie is drawing votes.]

Jay: How can you vote for Burns' movie?

Krusty: Let's just say it moved me ... TO A BIGGER HOUSE! Oops, I said the quiet part loud and the loud part quiet.

[A remake of Hans Moleman's movie is an Academy Award contender.]

George C. Scott: [on screen, getting hit by football] Ow! My groin!

◄ Season 5	Season 6 Quotes	Season 7 ►
Bart of Darkness • Lisa's Rival • Another Simpsons Clip Show • Itchy & Scratchy Land • Sideshow Bob Roberts • Treehouse of Horror V • Bart's Girlfriend • Lisa on Ice • Homer Badman • Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy • Fear of Flying • Homer the Great • And Maggie Makes Three • Bart's Comet • Homie the Clown • Bart vs. Australia • Homer vs. Patty and Selma • A Star is Burns • Lisa's Wedding • Two Dozen and One Greyhounds • The PTA Disbands • 'Round Springfield • The Springfield Connection • Lemon of Troy • Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One)

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 {{Tab|Quo
-|episode=A_Star_Is_Burns
+|episode=A_Star_Is_Burns}}
-}}
 {{PrevNext|Quo |Homer vs. Patty and Selma|Lisa's Wedding}}
-:''[The Springfielders have a town meeting to discuss improving the town's image and attracting more tourism. [[Marge]] suggests hosting a [[Springfield Film Festival|film festival]] and having townspeople enter their own movies.]''
+:''[The citizens of Springfield have a town meeting to discuss improving the town's image and attracting more tourism. [[Marge]] suggests hosting a [[Springfield Film Festival|film festival]] and having townspeople enter their own movies.]''
-:'''[[Mayor Quimby]]''': "All in favor of Marge Simpson's film festival idea?"
+:'''[[Mayor Quimby]]''': All in favor of Marge Simpson's film festival idea?
-:'''Crowd''': ''[chanting in unison]'' "Film festival! Film festival!"
+:'''Crowd''': ''[chanting in unison]'' Film festival! Film festival!
-:'''Marge''': "You like my idea? Actually, I have several others--"
+:'''Marge''': You like my idea? Actually, I have several others--
-:'''Crowd''': ''[in unison, cutting her off]'' "Don't push your luck! Don't push your luck!"
+:'''Crowd''': ''[in unison, cutting her off]'' Don't push your luck! Don't push your luck!
+----
-<hr width=50%/>:''[On TV, [[Rainier Wolfcastle]] is appearing on ''Coming Attractions'', [[Jay Sherman]]'s show. Wolfcastle talks about his new movie, ''McBain: Let's Get Silly'', which depicts him as a comedian, alternating between telling bad jokes and dispatching hecklers (and many other audience members) with various weapons.]''
+:''[On TV, [[Rainier Wolfcastle]] is appearing on '''Coming Attractions''', [[Jay Sherman]]'s show. Wolfcastle talks about his new movie, '''McBain: Let's Get Silly''', which depicts him as a comedian, alternating between telling bad jokes and dispatching hecklers (and many other audience members) with various weapons.]''
-:'''Wolfcastle''': "The film is just me in front of a brick wall for an hour and a half. It cost eighty million dollars."
+:'''Wolfcastle''': The film is just me in front of a brick wall for an hour and a half. It cost eighty million dollars.
-:'''Jay''': ''[disgusted]'' "How do you sleep at night?"
+:'''Jay''': ''[disgusted]'' How do you sleep at night?
-:'''Wolfcastle''': "On top of a pile of money with many beautiful ladies."
+:'''Wolfcastle''': On top of a pile of money with many beautiful ladies.
-:'''Jay''': ''[even more disgusted]'' "Just asking. Yeesh!"
+:'''Jay''': ''[even more disgusted]'' Just asking. Yeesh!
+----
+:''[After reading Marge's invite, Jay Sherman is debating whether to travel to Springfield when Rainier Wolfcastle approaches him.]''
-<hr width=50%/>:''[At the airport, the Simpsons meet [[Jay Sherman]], who's come to judge the Springfield Film Festival.]''
+:'''Wolfcastle''': Sherman, I just realized you insulted me. ''[He pulls out a rifle]''. Now you will die!
-:'''[[Marge]]''': "Hello, I'm Marge Simpson, and this is my husband, [[Homer]]."
+:'''Jay''': Hey, nudnick... uh, your shoe's untied!
-:'''Jay''': "Oh, nice to meet you, Marge. I saw your hair from the plane. ''[to Homer]'' And this must be the man who didn't know if he had a pimple or a boil."
+:'''Wolfcastle''': From here they appear to be tied, but I will go in for a closer look anyway.
-:'''Homer''': "It was a Gummi Bear."
+:''[He bends over to examine his shoes.]''
+:'''Jay''': Taxi! ''[A taxi pulls up and he gets inside.]'' To the airport!
-<hr width=50%/>:''[Preparing to make his movie for the film festival, [[Mr. Burns]] meets with [[Señor Spielbergo]], his director.]''
+:[''The taxi speeds off. Many hours pass until night falls.]''
-:'''Burns''': "Listen, Señor Spielbergo, I want you to do for me what Spielberg did for Oskar Schindler."
+:'''Wolfcastle''': On closer inspection, these are loafers.
-:'''Spielbergo''': ''[looking doubtful]'' "Er, Schindler es bueno. Señor Burns es el diablo."
+----
-:'''Burns''': "Listen, Spielbergo, Schindler and I are like peas in a pod: We're both factory owners, we both made shells for the Nazis, but mine '''worked''', dammit! Now go out there and win me that festival!"
+:''[At the airport, the Simpsons meet [[Jay Sherman]], who has come to judge the Springfield Film Festival.]''
+:'''[[Marge]]''': Hello, I'm Marge Simpson, and this is my husband, [[Homer]].
-<hr width=50%/>:''[At the Simpson home, [[Jay Sherman]] talks with [[Patty]] and [[Selma]] while [[Homer]] watches.]''
+:'''Jay''': Oh, nice to meet you, Marge. I saw your hair from the plane. ''[to Homer]'' And this must be the man who didn't know if he had a pimple or a boil.
-:'''Patty''': "Okay, Sherman, you're a movie expert."
-:'''Selma''': "So tell us. Who's gay?"
+:'''Homer''': It was a Gummi Bear.
+----
-:'''Jay''': "Oh, I don't know ... Harvey Fierstein."
+:''[Preparing to make his movie for the film festival, [[Mr. Burns]] meets with [[Señor Spielbergo]], his director.]''
-:'''Selma''': "No!"
+:'''Burns''': Listen, Señor Spielbergo, I want you to do for me what Spielberg did for Oskar Schindler.
-:'''Patty''': "Who else?"
+:'''Spielbergo''': ''[looking doubtful]'' Er, Schindler es bueno. Señor Burns es el diablo.
+:'''Burns''': Listen, Spielbergo, Schindler and I are like peas in a pod: We're both factory owners, we both made shells for the Nazis, but mine '''worked''', dammit! Now go out there and win me that festival!
+----
+:''[At the Simpson house, [[Jay Sherman]] talks with [[Patty]] and [[Selma]] while [[Homer]] watches.]''
+:'''Patty''': Okay, Sherman, you're a movie expert.
+:'''Selma''': So tell us. Who's gay?
+:'''Jay''': Oh, I don't know ... Harvey Fierstein.
+:'''Selma''': No!
+:'''Patty''': Who else?
 :''[Homer whispers into Jay's ear.]''
-:'''Jay''': "Oh. MacGyver's gay."
+:'''Jay''': Oh. MacGyver's gay.
 :''[Patty and Selma growl and advance on Jay, who cowers from them. Homer giggles.]''
 :''[The scene shifts to outside. Jay has been stripped to his underwear and is dangling from the rain gutter by the waistband of his shorts.]''
-:'''[[Bart]]''': ''[seeing Jay and laughing]'' "You badmouthed MacGyver, didn't you?"
+:'''[[Bart]]''': ''[seeing Jay and laughing]'' You badmouthed MacGyver, didn't you?
+----
-<hr width=50%/>:'''[[Dr. Hibbert]]''': ''[walking to the movies in drag, then seeing the film festival is being held]'' "Oh, I thought they were showing [[wikipedia:The_Rocky_Horror_Picture_Show|The Rocky Horror Picture Show]] tonight."
+:'''[[Dr. Hibbert]]''': ''[walking to the movies in drag, then seeing the film festival is being held]'' Oh, I thought they were showing [[wikipedia:The_Rocky_Horror_Picture_Show|The Rocky Horror Picture Show]] tonight.
+----
-<hr width=50%/>:''[At the film festival, [[Hans Moleman]]'s ''[[Man Getting Hit by Football]]'' has just been shown.]''
+:''[At the film festival, [[Hans Moleman]]'s ''film [[Man Getting Hit by Football]]'' has just been shown.]''
-:'''[[Homer]]''': ''[laughing to the point of tears]'' "This contest is over! Give that man the ten thousand dollars!"
+:'''[[Homer]]''': ''[laughing to the point of tears]'' This contest is over! Give that man the ten thousand dollars!
-:'''[[Jay Sherman]]''': ''[disapprovingly]'' "This '''isn't''' [[wikipedia:America's_Funniest_Home_Videos|''America's Funniest Home Videos'']]."
+:'''[[Jay Sherman]]''': ''[disapprovingly]'' This '''isn't''' [[wikipedia:America's_Funniest_Home_Videos|''America's Funniest Home Videos'']].
-:'''Homer''': "But ... the ball! His groin! It works on so many levels! ''[still laughing]'' Roll it again!"
+:'''Homer''': But ... the ball! His groin! It works on so many levels! ''[still laughing]'' Roll it again!
+----
-<hr width=50%/>:'''[[Mr. Burns]]''': "Smithers, are they booing me?"
+:'''[[Mr. Burns]]''': Smithers, are they booing me?
-:'''[[Smithers]]''': "Oh, no, sir. They're saying "Boo-urns, Boo-urns."
+:'''[[Smithers]]''': Oh, no, sir. They're saying Boo-urns, Boo-urns.
-:'''Burns''': ''[to crowd]'' "Are you saying 'boo' or 'Boo-urns'?"
+:'''Burns''': ''[to crowd]'' Are you saying 'boo' or 'Boo-urns'?
-:'''Crowd''': "Boooooooooooo!"
+:'''Crowd''': Boooooooooooo!
-:'''[[Hans Moleman]]''': ''[to himself]'' "'''I''' was saying 'Boo-urns'."
+:'''[[Hans Moleman]]''': ''[to himself]'' '''I''' was saying 'Boo-urns'.
+----
-<hr width=50%/>:''[The jury members are casting their votes for grand prize at the [[Springfield Film Festival]]. [[Jay Sherman]] is dismayed that [[Mr. Burns]]' movie is drawing votes.]''
+:''[The jury members are casting their votes for grand prize at the [[Springfield Film Festival]]. Jay Sherman is dismayed that [[Mr. Burns]]' movie is drawing votes.]''
-:'''Jay''': "How can you vote for Burns' movie?"
+:'''Jay''': How can you vote for Burns' movie?
-:'''[[Krusty]]''': "Let's just say it ''moved'' me ... '''TO A BIGGER HOUSE!!''' Oops, I said the quiet part loud and the loud part quiet."
+:'''[[Krusty]]''': Let's just say it ''moved'' me ... '''TO A BIGGER HOUSE!''' Oops, I said the quiet part loud and the loud part quiet.
+----
-<hr width=50%/>:''[A remake of [[Hans Moleman]]'s [[Man Getting Hit by Football|movie]] is an Academy Award contender.]''
+:''[A remake of [[Hans Moleman]]'s [[Man Getting Hit by Football|movie]] is an Academy Award contender.]''
-:'''[[wikipedia:George_C._Scott|George C. Scott]]''': ''[on screen, getting hit by football]'' "Ow! My groin!"
+:'''[[wikipedia:George_C._Scott|George C. Scott]]''': ''[on screen, getting hit by football]'' Ow! My groin!
-{{Season 6|Quo}}
+{{Season|6|Quo}}