A Star is Torn/Quotes

Episode	References	Gags	Appearances	Gallery	Quotes	Credits

◄ The Heartbroke Kid

A Star is Torn

Thank God It's Doomsday ►

Bart: From now on, I'm only eating food that I know had a soul.

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Homer: He's about to learn the most important lesson in the music business: don't trust people in the music business.

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Lisa: Dad, I'm sorry you're hurt but you left me no choice. You were obnoxious at a level not even permitted in show business.

Homer: Do you know how many hours I had to work? How many people I had to yell at? How many tires I had to slash?

Lisa: No one told you to yell and slash!

Homer: It's called schmoozing!

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Homer: We're going to write and sing our way out of this God-forsaken hell hole.

Marge: But your song said you liked Springfield?

Homer: I wrote it about Shelbyville, then changed the names.

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Homer [to Lisa]: The song I wrote for you is so schmaltzy it makes "Moon River" sound like a farting orangutan.

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(While Apu is being robbed)

Apu: Call the police.

Homer: I need change for a dollar.

Apu: No change without purchase.

Homer: What's the cheapest thing you've got.

Apu: A 2-ounce pack of chips. $5.99.

Homer: $5.99, what a rip-off! Someone should shoot you.

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Krusty: Every week, we eliminate one contestant based on the votes cast by you, the audience.

TV Announcer: Disclaimer: All ballots were lost and vote totals made up.

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Lil' Starmaker Commercial Announcer: We're not affiliated with American Idol. We've never even heard of American Idol.

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Lisa: That's Cameron. Girls go crazy over him. He's cute, unthreatening, and his smile brought a puppy back to life.

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Ralph: A-B-C-D-E-F-G- (pauses) How I wonder what you are.

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Homer: [referring to an ear of corn] Interesting, it's like a corn dog without the dog.

Homer: I don't miss meat at all, this portabello mushroom eats like a steak. A rubbery fungus-like steak.