The Heartbroke Kid
A Star is Torn
Thank God It's Doomsday
Bart: From now on, I'm only eating food that I know had a soul.

Homer: He's about to learn the most important lesson in the music business: don't trust people in the music business.

Lisa: Dad, I'm sorry you're hurt, but you left me no choice. You were obnoxious at a level not even permitted in show business.
Homer: Do you know the hours I worked? The people I had to yell at? The tires I had to slash?
Lisa: No one asked you to yell and slash!
Homer: It's called SCHMOOZING!!!
Marge: (nervously) Bart, you want to go to the video arcade?
Bart: (nervously) Hell, I'll even go shoe shopping. (both he and Marge run out of the car)

Homer: We're going to write and sing our way out of this God-forsaken hell hole.
Marge: But your song said you liked Springfield?
Homer: I wrote it about Shelbyville, then changed the names.

Homer: [to Lisa] The song I wrote for you is so schmaltzy it makes "Moon River" sound like a farting orangutan.

(While Apu is being robbed)
Apu: (whispering) Call the police.
Homer: (whispering) I need change for a dollar.
Apu: No change without purchase.
Homer: What's the cheapest thing you've got?
Apu: A 2-ounce pack of chips, $5.99.
Homer: $5.99!? What a rip-off! Someone should shoot you.

Krusty: Every week, we eliminate one contestant based on the votes cast by you, the audience.
TV Announcer: Disclaimer: All ballots were lost and vote totals made up.

Lil' Starmaker Commercial Announcer: We're not affiliated with American Idol. We've never even heard of American Idol.

Lisa: That's Cameron. Girls go crazy over him. He's cute, unthreatening, and his smile brought a puppy back to life.

Ralph: A-B-C-D-E-F-G- (pauses) How I wonder what you are.

Homer: [referring to an ear of corn] Interesting, it's like a corn dog without the dog.
Homer: I don't miss meat at all, this portabello mushroom eats like a steak. A rubbery fungus-like steak.

Season 15 Season 16 Quotes Season 17
Treehouse of Horror XVAll's Fair in Oven WarSleeping with the EnemyShe Used to Be My GirlFat Man and Little BoyMidnight RxMommie BeerestHomer and Ned's Hail Mary PassPranksta RapThere's Something About MarryingOn a Clear Day I Can't See My SisterGoo Goo Gai PanMobile HomerThe Seven-Beer SnitchFuture-DramaDon't Fear the RooferThe Heartbroke KidA Star is TornThank God It's DoomsdayHome Away from HomerThe Father, the Son and the Holy Guest Star
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.

Fandom may earn an affiliate commission on sales made from links on this page.

Stream the best stories.

Fandom may earn an affiliate commission on sales made from links on this page.

Get Disney+