Agnes Skinner

“Seymour!”

―Agnes’ catchphrase

Agnes Tamzarian Skinner, more commonly known as Mrs. Skinner, is the strict and bitter mother of Seymour Skinner. She is very harshly controlling of Seymour, and treats him like a mother would a small child, once grounding him because he did not say who was at the door after answering it. She hates Seymour's choice in women, especially Edna Krabappel. Agnes has married a total of four times, once with Skinner's father, Sheldon Skinner, and following Sheldon's death she then married three more times, each time to a tow truck driver. Several Springfield residents (including the Simpsons) are afraid of her.

History

In the 1920s, Agnes used to be a wing walker on early planes and performed. Her videos were shown in museums.^[1] During the 1940s, Agnes was a Pole Vaulter and competed during the 1944 Summer Olympics.^[2]

Young agnes — Young Agnes performing as a wing walker

Personality

When she first appeared as a kindly old woman who embarrassingly called her son "Spanky". According to the DVD audio commentary it is said that her current mean streak can be attributed to the incident involving Bart that took place in that episode in which, while sitting in a urinal stall, Bart caused the toilets to explode. Currently, she is harshly controlling of Seymour, who spends more time with her than with his former girlfriend, Edna Krabappel.

Agnes has exhibited "cougar" tendencies in several episodes. Among the younger men she has been in a relationship (or possibly had sex) with include Superintendent Chalmers, Otto Mann and Comic Book Guy.

Hair

In All's Fair in Oven War it's revealed that she wears a wig, as she dumps it into Marge's mixing bowl. In Ned 'N Edna's Blend she asks Seymour if he used her wig glue to patch his shoes again.

Relationship with Seymour

Agnes shares an unhealthy relationship with her son, which often borders on psychosis. Examples include Agnes covering up "her half of the television" with cardboard to spite Seymour. When Seymour was out of the house, Agnes phoned him regularly demanding to be taken out of the bath, shielded from the glare of car lights on the street, and other such petty requests. She hid his car keys as a punishment for his talking to a woman on the phone. Seymour himself is very obedient and almost distressingly physically and emotionally close to her (for example, when Edna agreed to marry Seymour, Agnes murmured under her breath "three in the bed!"). Agnes Skinner's catchphrase is "Seymour!" often used to snap her son's attention (as opposed to Superintendent Chalmers's catchphrase, "Skin-NER!"). She also uses him as a slave for her own bidding as evident from the quote "Why couldn't you have died instead of the Car?".^[3]

Some of Agnes' resentment to Seymour may have derived from even before Seymour was born—during the 1952 Summer Olympics in Helsinki, Agnes competed in the pole vaulting event while 9-months pregnant.^[4] When Seymour makes his first kick, he hits the bar, thus, making Agnes lose and subsequently crushing her dreams; this is probably why she is so harsh on Seymour.

Family

Real Son

In "The Principal and the Pauper", Agnes' biological son, the real Seymour Skinner (voiced by Martin Sheen), returns to Springfield from war. Agnes, not happy with her new living situation with her biological son, travels to Capital City to take back Armin Tamzarian. She and other Springfieldians, who have grown to like Tamzarian, force the real Seymour Skinner out of Springfield, tying him to a freight train cart headed out of the town. She apparently was displeased with her biological son even before her return, as it was implied that she was fully aware Armin wasn't actually her son, yet played along with Armin's con, even telling him where his bedroom was.

Husband

Her husband Sheldon Skinner resembles Armin Tamzarian (now legally Seymour Skinner) and not the real Seymour, this is most likely an inconsistency. Agnes has also claimed that she was married to three tow truckers. She also briefly dated the Comic Book Guy, before he was arrested for having a secret room full of illegal videos. He asked her if she would wait for him till he got out of jail but she refuses, saying that her bones are half dust. She also revealed that she once had an affair with Mr. Burns^[5].

Boyfriend

Agnes Skinner had several affairs with several men, including Comic Book Guy and Gary Chalmers.

Fake Death

In "Yellow Subterfuge", Agnes Gets Stabbed in the back and dies. However, this was revealed to be a farce staged by Homer and Bart.

Non-canon Appearances

The contents of this article or section are considered to be non-canon and therefore may not have actually happened/existed.

Treehouse of Horror II

Agnes can be seen with a moustache in Lisa's dream.

Treehouse of Horror XI

Agnesdeath — The death of Agnes Skinner in Treehouse of Horror XI

Although, with no continuity Agnes is dropped to her death from many stories up in Treehouse of Horror XI when Homer is attempting a good deed.

Prior to The Simpsons Game Agnes went to see a Jersey Boys concert and was sitting in front of Dewey Largo, her hair was blocking his view and later wanted to sue for it.

Agnes saw the Bullies at the Museum and tried to call 911 but they blocked her number.

Afterwards she saw Bart and thanked him for putting Seymour in jail he needed more discipline. Agnes saw some people signing up at the duff Bewery Agnes said that they would kill themselves after eating too much.

Agnes saw Largo with his Lawyer who wanted to sue her, they went to court offscreen. Agnes saw Bart later and said that she wish Seymour helped her win eating Contests.she heard later Mr Burns in his sleep planing to cut down the trees. Agnes saw Bart later to say that Bart wanted a medal for saving the Trees.

She later met Snake, Agnes said she didn't have any money Snake then wonders why does everyone always assume that hes gonna rob them Agnes tell him because he's a Professional Criminal.

Agnes saw the Dolphins attacking Sea Captain at the pier. She went to the Mall then a Alien steals her parking a Spot then Lard lad Appears out of nowhere and steals her purse.

She thanks Bart for Stopping the Dolphins and says that he Conquered Sideshow Bob but the real hero was a rake. She says that Lard Lad needed a role Model.