- Fake Marge: Yeah You Do!
- Marge: (reading a note from Lisa) I look up to you... because you let me down. That's clever. And devastating.
- Chief Wiggum: Listen here, Simpson. Your son has been exposing our kids to adult themes, unabashed dictionaries, and the lesser short fiction of John Cheever.
- Marge Vocals: What the!
- Homer: D'oh!
- Marge: Oh my God!
- Homer: [to Lisa] Hey sweetie, is mom winning?
- Apu: (puts on disguise) Apu? Never heard of him. My name is Steve Barnes.
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