All About Lisa/Quotes

Episode	References	Gags	Appearances	Gallery	Quotes	Credits

◄ Mona Leaves-a

All About Lisa

Sex, Pies, and Idiot Scrapes ►

Ron Robinowitz: Krusty, I've been your agent for 37 years and I'm telling you, watch out for this Lisa Simpson character. She's got a taste for Lady Laughter, and she'll step right over a certain clown to get it.

Krusty the Clown: Which one? Chuckles? Professor Nitwit?

Ron Robinowitz: [facepalm] No, you!

Krusty the Clown: No Yu?! The Chinese Clown?

Ron Robinowitz: [laughs] That's actually really funny! But seriously, you're in big trouble here.

---

[Bart and Homer are looking though a large pile of coins for the "Kissing Lincolns Penny"]

Bart: One of these has got to be that smooching Lincoln penny. Nope. Nope. Dime. Button. Pepperoni slice.

Homer: (grabbing pepperoni slice) Wait! This is a classic 1978 Pizza Hut! (eats it) Mmm...terrible.

---

[At an auction for a "Kissing Lincolns Penny"]

Homer: Five dollars!

Mr. Burns: Five hundred.

Homer: Five dollars, cash.

Host: Sir, the promise of cash is not an endorsement. The current bid is $500. Going once, going twice--

Bart: Dad!

Homer: Five hundred-one!

Mr. Burns: Ten million.

Homer: Objection, Your Honor!

---

[at one of the Krusty's shows]

Krusty: [sings a little song] Here I am, walking on the plank! I wish this mean pirate wasn't poking me with a sword! [Wispering to Lisa and Sideshow Mel] Where's the chimp?

Sideshow Mel: [Whispering] Mr. Tenny's not here. He's stuck on traffic!

Krusty: Oh, what do I do? I can't ad lib to save my life. [Heavily breathing] Oh boy, Oh boy!

Lisa: [Singing and dressed as a pirate] Yo ho ho and a bottle of fun!

Krusty: [whispering] What are you doing, kid?

Lisa: [whispering] My job, making it look good!

Krusty: Oh yeah, right, yeah! [turns around facing Lisa] So, So, what be your name, matey?

Lisa: Long John Seltzer! [She splashes water in Krusty's face, making him fall into a little pool. the kids laugh]