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Lisa's Rival
Another Simpsons Clip Show
Itchy & Scratchy Land
Marge: Homer, this is important. Give me some sign that you're awake.
Homer: (burps)

Homer: Marge, it's 3:00 am and I worked all day.
Marge: It's 9:30 pm and you spent the whole Saturday drinking beer in Maggie’s kiddie pool.

Lisa: Mom, romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.

Marge: How many times can you laugh at that cat getting hit by the moon?
Bart: It's a new episode.
Lisa: Not exactly...they pieced it together from old shows, but it seems new to the trusting eyes of impressionable youth.
Bart: Really?
Lisa: Ren & Stimpy do it all the time.
Marge: Yes they do, and when was the last time you heard anyone talk about Ren and Stimpy?

Bart: What happened to Mindy?
Marge: Yes, what did happen to her?
Homer: Ehh, she hit the bottle pretty hard and lost her job.
Marge: Hmph. Good.

Marge: I give up. Did anybody learn anything about love tonight?
Bart: We learned it screws everybody up.
Marge: Well, there's that side of it, but there's also....oh, help me out here, Lisa.
Lisa: Sorry, Mom. I've decided to save my love for someone who's guaranteed not to reject me. [pulls out "Non-Threatening Boys" magazine] Soon, Corey, soon.


See more: Episode Guide
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