Bagged Me a Homer is a song sung by Lurleen Lumpkin (Beverly D'Angelo) in the episode Colonel Homer. The music and lyrics were written by Beverly D'Angelo herself. It is the thirty-second track on the album Songs in the Key of Springfield.

Bagged Me a Homer


Studio Chief:
Uh, this studio has a lot of history. Buddy Holly stood here in 1958 and said, "There is no way in Hell that I'm gonna record in this dump."
I'm sure Lurleen will love it.
(gasps) Homer, how much did you just give that man?!
Calm down, Marge, it's just our life savings. I'm not going to go into hock for this.
Hey, Colonel Homer! (kisses him, to Marge) And you must be—
Mrs. Homer Simpson!
(Marge murmurs)
(to Homer) Thought you said she was overweight.
Marge, it takes two to lie: one to lie and one to listen.
What does that mean?
I don't have time to answer these questions! Uh, time is money! (claps twice) Come on, people!
Well, come on, boys, let's break some hearts!
Oh, the bases were empty
On the diamond of my heart
When the coach called me up to the plate.
I've been swingin' and missin'
And lovin' and kissin'
My average was point double eight.
So I spit on my hands,
Knockin' dirt from my spikes,
And pointed right toward centerfield,
This time, I'm hittin' a home run,
This time, love is for real.
I'll slide, I'll steal, I'll sacrifice
A lovin' fly for you,
I've been slumpin' off season,
But now, I found a reason
I've struck on a love that is true.
I used to play the field,
I used to be a roamer.
But season's turnin' round for me now.
I finally bagged me a homer!
That's right.
I finally bagged me a homer!
Sound booth guy:
Uh, Lurleen, we're gonna hafta cut you off. We're gettin' some kinda grindin' noise on the track.
(Marge grinding her teeth in fury)
Guess what, Lurleen! I gotcha a gig on TV!
Oh! Homer! You're as smart as you are handsome!
Hey! Oh, you meant that as a compliment.
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