|
|
|
|
|
|
| |||||||
|
Bart Gets an Elephant |
|
- [Homer, Bart, and Lisa discuss their plans after breakfast.]
- Bart: After breakfast, me and Milhouse are going down to the ravine. We got a tip from a five-year-old that there's a dead Martian down there.
- Lisa: And I'm going to jam with the Little White Girls Blues Quartet for a "Take Back the Afternoon" concert. [to Homer]: Wanna come with me, Daddy-o?
- Homer: Sorry, honey. I'd love to, but Daddy has to go to a beer-drinking contest.
- Bart: Think you'll win?
- Homer: Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose; it's how drunk you get.
- Homer: What's the point of all this cleaning?! Are we so vain?!
- Moe: Hey Clinton, get back to work!
- Bill Clinton: Make me.
- Grampa: Hey, they're playing the elephant song!
- Jasper: I love that. Reminds me of elephants.
::Kent Brockman: So isn't that what we're all asking in our own lives – "Where's my elephant?" I know that's what I've been asking. - Mr. Burns: [rides on Stampy] Ha-ha! Smithers, this reminds me of that fat man I used to ride to work!
- Homer: Look at this, Marge: $58 and all of it profit! I'm the smartest businessman in the world.
- Marge: Stampy's food bill today was $300.
- Homer: [scared] Marge, please, don't humiliate me in front of the money.
- Lisa: Mr. Blackheart?
- Mr. Blackheart: Yes, my pretty?
- Lisa: Are you an ivory dealer?
- Mr. Blackheart: [chuckles] Little girl, I've had lots of jobs in my day: Whale hunter, seal clubber, president of the FOX Network ... and like most people, yeah, I've dealt a little ivory.
::Ned Flanders: Look! It's the four elephants of the Apocalypse! - Maude: That's "Horsemen," Ned.
- Ned: Well, getting closer.
- Homer: He took Bart too?! [yells out the window] THAT WASN'T PART OF OUR DEAL BLACKHEART! THAT. WASN'T. PAAAAART!
- [At Springfield Police Station]
- Chief Wiggum: [sarcastically] Yeah, right, lady: an elephant ran through your front yard. OK. [goes to another line] Wiggum...yeah, right, mister, mm hm. An elephant just knocked over your mailbox. OK. [goes to another line] Wiggum...Yeah, right, buddy, liquor store robbery, officer down. Sure...and I'm Edward G. Robinson!