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"Bart Has Two Mommies" |
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- Bart: Why does God need our money?
- Homer: He has to finish paying off the planets. Did you see that ring He gave Saturn?
- (Homer and his duck reaches the mallet zone)
- Homer: (gets hit on his back by a mallet) Protect the duck! (gets hit on the head by another mallet) Dowh! Protect the duck! (gets hit on his head again by yet another mallet) Duh! Produck the tect... Ohw! (falls off the treadmill to the lake)
- Rod: Hurry, let's climb down.
- Bart: (as he and Rod climb down the church steeple) Okay, but don't let our hands touch - it's gay.
- Rod: What does "gay" mean?
- Bart: Um, it means... you used to be afraid, but you're not anymore.
- Rod: (shouting down at Flanders) I'm gay, Daddy! I'm gay! Mrs. Simpson made me gay!
- Marge: (laughs nervously) I believe he's saying...he's okay.
- Homer: What are you talking about? Monkeys don't have feelings. If they did, my experiments on them could be called cruel.
- Homer: (sarcastic tone) Oh, you're so right! I guess I should be more concerned with Bart's safety than covering my own butt! And maybe I'm talking like this because I can't stop! Help me, Lisa, I have serious mental problems!
- Ned: (gasp) A sliver from a band-aid wrapper! Call me Ned Zeppelin, but is one of my boys abraised and contused?!
- Todd: I cut myself on the knife playing Christian Clue.
- Rod: The secular humanist in the school house with misinformation!
- Rod: (praying) And please thank Mrs. Simpson for giving as much fun as we had when Mommy was here.
- Marge: Aww.
- Todd: (praying) And please ask Mommy to come to Daddy in a dream so he knows how to cut our sandwiches.
- Marge: Aww.
- Rod: (praying) And please tell Mrs. Simpson it's rude to eavesdrop on our prayers.
- Marge: (surprised) Oh.
- Rod: (praying) But we forgive her.
- Marge: Aww.
- Marge: (whilst wearing a Darth Vader mask) I'm Star Wars!