Bart Simpson's Guide to Life is a humorous self-help book that was published in 1993 by HarperCollins. The book is supposedly meant to give helpful tips and advice on how to cope with life, as experienced by Bart Simpson. The book's full title is Bart Simpson's Guide to Life: A Wee Handbook for the Perplexed.
Synopsis[]
Starved for the whole truth, man? Take a bite out of this bitty but beefy package, brimming with flavorized morsels of wit, wisdom, and worldly knowledge brought to you by the one and only Bartholomew J. Simpson ~ get the hard-knocks facts of life from the guy who's seen it all, heard it all, done it all ~ and denies it all.
Dedicated to the memory of Snowball I: Whenever we hear a cat yowling at 3am, whenever we slip on a slimy hairball, whenever we inhale the tart aroma of a neglected cat box, we think of you.
Contents[]
School[]
- Forgery!
- Last-Minute Show & Tell Ideas
- More Show & Tell Ideas
- Your Playful Guide to Playground Playmates
- How to Do a Book Report
- Annoying Questions to Ask Your Teacher
- Bart's Handy-Dandy Guide to...Cheating
Food[]
- Table Manners
- The Bart Simpson Nutritional Institute Presents: The Four Food Groups
- The Food Pyramid Bartering Guide
- Mealtime Fun!
- Fun Food Facts to Know and Tell!
- Yet Even More Food Fun!
- The Donut: Nature's Perfect Snack Treat
- Homer's Dozen-Donut-a-Day Diet
Health & Fitness[]
- The Human Body Explained
- Dr. Bart's Miracle Cures
- The Fine Art of Bathing
- So You've Got Cooties
- Beauty Secrets
Work & Money[]
- 25 Cool Things to Be When You Grow Up!
- 25 Things Not to Be When You Grow Up!
- Bart Simpson's E-Z-Does-It Guide to Work and How to Avoid It at All Costs
- Fast Cash
- How to Get the Money You Deserve
After Hourz[]
- My Dream Bedroom by Bartholomew J. Simpson
- My Dream Bedroom by Lisa Simpson
- How to Stay Up Past Your Bedtime
- Your Dreams and What They Are Trying to Tell You
Parents[]
- What Parents Think (if Anything)
- Lies Your Parents Tell You
- How to Drive Your Parents Nuts
Art & Culture[]
- Museum Etiquette
- How to Be a Poetic Genius Part I
- How to Be a Poetic Genius Part II
- Bartholomew J. (for Jenuine!) Simpson Presents: The 7 Wonders of the World
Science[]
- Bart's Laws
- Professor Bartholomew von Simpson Presents: The Science of Technical Nameology
- The Tree of Life
- Last-Minute Science Experiments
Language & Communication[]
- Secret Languages
- Sometimes Actions Speak Louder than Words: Your Handy Guide to Gestures 'Round the Globe
- How to Be a Transcontinental Troublemaker
Animals[]
- The 9 Types of Doggies
- The Ultimate Dream Pet
- Animal Brain Twisters
s.e.x.[]
- Grade-School Romance: A Guide to Love for the Befuddled Adolescent
- Bart and Lisa's Top 10 Preconceived Notions about Girls and Boys
- Babies: Where From They Come?
Psychology[]
- Body Language
- Honest-to-God Phobias
- Putting Your Phobias to Work for You!
- Dr. Marvin Monroe Explains: The 3 Types of Brains
Law & Order[]
- Tried-and-Kinda-True Responses to Get You Out of Any Fight!
- Lionel Hutz's College of Litigation
- Real Laws of the Land, Man!
Xmas[]
- Is Santa Real?
- The Ultimate Christmas Eve Trap
- The 12 Days of Xmas (Bart Simpson's Guide to Life)
- Sing Along with Bart-O-Claus!
- Last-Minute Xmas Gifts for Under 5 Bucks
Strange Facts[]
- Bart Simpson's Weird Mysteries of the Universe Even I Can't Explain
- Bartholomew J. (for "Junior Bonehead") Simpson Presents: Homer Simpson's Howcumzit?
- The Wonderful World of Monsters
- Monsters Made Simple
- Aliens: They Walk Among Us!
- Alien Behavior
Religion[]
- 7 Deadly Sins
- Zesty Prayers...for Any and All Occasions!
- Annoying Questions to Ask Your Sunday School Teacher
- Even More...Annoying Questions to Ask Your Sunday School Teacher
- Heaven vs. Hell: Which is Better?
Other Uses for this Book