Simpsons Wiki

These are some quotes by Bart Simpson.

Eat My Shorts!
―Bart's catchphrase
¡Ay, caramba!
―Bart's catchphrase
I'm Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?
―Bart's catchphrase
―Bart's catchphrase
Don't have a cow, Man!
―Bart's catchphrase
I didn't do it.
―Bart's catchphrase[src]
Ow! Quit it!
―Bart's catchprase[src]
Get bent
―Bart's catchprase
(To Homer) I cheated on the intelligence test. I'm sorry. But I just want to say that the past few weeks have been great. Me and you have done stuff together. You've helped me out with things and we're closer than we've ever been. I love you, Dad. And I think if something
―can bring us that close it can't possibly be bad.[src]
(To Lisa) You got the brains and talent to go as far as you want and when you do I'll be right there to borrow money.
―Bart Simpson[src]
I've done a lot of bad stuff through the years. Now I'm paying the price but there's so many things I'll never get a chance to do: smoke a cigarette, use a fake I.D., shave a swear word in my hair... (Sniffling)
―Bart Simpson[src]
(To Judge Harm) Your Honor, it's not easy being my parents. I'm always screwing up in school and getting in trouble with the law. But if I grow up to be a halfway-decent person, I know it'll be because of my mom and dad. Everyone else might give up on me, but my parents never will.
―Bart Simpson[src]

Season 1

Bart the Genius

Bart: Kwyjibo — a big dumb balding North American ape with no chin.

Bart: Well, if you're damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Bart: Come on, Mom!

Bart: You think I'm dumb enough to fall for that? I'm insulted.

The Telltale Head

Bart: Oh, Space Mutants 4! Drop me off! Drop me off!

Some Enchanted Evening

Bart: Ask if there's a reward.
Lisa: Is there a reward? If she's convicted we get t-shirts.

Season 2

Treehouse of Horror

Bart: I like to call this story Hungry are the Damned.

Bart: Ew, baby spit! YOU suck

Bart Gets Hit by a Car

Bart: Hey, cool, I'm dead.

Three Men and a Comic Book

Milhouse: Wait a minute, what about Sunday?

Bart: Yeah, what about Sunday?

Season 3

Stark Raving Dad

Lisa: Bart, My birthday's in two days. I'm going to be 8 years old. It's a big number, almost double digits.

Bart:Well, enjoy it while you can. Everything changes when you get to big one-o. Your legs start to go, candy doesn't taste as good anymore.

Treehouse of Horror II

Bart: Jackpot!

Bart's Friend Falls in Love

Milhouse: Bart, do you think I'll ever find someone like her?
Bart: You're asking the wrong guy, Milhouse, you're asking the wrong guy.

Season 4

Kamp Krusty

Bart: 36, 24, 36.

Bart: Krusty is coming! Krusty is coming!

Lisa: Bart, you said you're gonna name it Camp Freedom.

Bart: Nah, this has more zing.

Bart: I smell bacon, let's see if he's wearing a wire.

Bart: Alright, that's it! I've been scorched by Krusty before. I got a rapid heartbeat from his Krusty brand vitamins, my Krusty Kalculator didn't have a 7 or an 8, and Krusty's autobiography was self-serving with many glaring omissions. But this time, he's gone too far! WE WANT KRUSTY!

Bart and Kids: (chanting and joining in) WE WANT KRUSTY! WE WANT KRUSTY!

Bart: My chunky brothers! Gorge yourselves at the trough of freedom!

Bart: I just want the whole world to know that this was a really crappy camp. [covers microphone with his hand] Can I say 'crappy' on TV?

Kent: Yes, on this network you can.

Treehouse of Horror III

Bart: Very scary, Mr. Flanders, but I've got a story so scary you'll wet your pants.

Grampa: Too late. (everyone moves away from Grampa)

Season 5

Boy Scoutz n the Hood

Bart: Woah, that's a good Squishee.

Milhouse: Let's go crazy broadway style.

Bart: Yeah.

Bart and Milhouse: Springfield, Springfield, it's a hell of a town, the schoolyards up and the shopping malls down. Springfield, Springfield.

New York Guy: New York, New York. (Bart and Milhouse stop singing and dancing)

Bart: New York is thataway, man.

New York Guy: Thanks kid.

Bart and Milhouse: It's a hell of a town.