Lisa: Dad, as you know, we've been swimming and we've developed a taste for it. We both agree that getting a pool is the only way to go. Now before you respond, you must understand that your refusal will result in months and months of..
Bart and Lisa: Can we have a pool, dad? Can we have a pool, dad? Can we have a pool, dad? Can we have a pool, dad? Can we have a pool, dad?
Homer: I understand. Let us celebrate our new arrangement with the adding of chocolate to milk.
Lisa: Shut up, brain! I've got friends now. I don't need you anymore.
Marge: [to Bart] Mmm, I wish you'd stop spreading bad rumors about people. Remember how you got Grampa tarred and feathered?
Bart: Sure, that was 20 minutes ago.
Bart: I'm telling you, Ned Flanders murdered his wife!
Homer: But why? She's such a fox! I mean, what's on Fox tonight? Something ribald, no doubt...
Bart: Oh no, he's going to kill Rod and Todd! That's horrible...in theory.
Bart: But I saw the murder and then I saw you bury the corpse in the back yard!
Ned: (crying) All right, it's true. I am a murderer! (everyone gasps) I over watered Maude's favorite ficus plant, I panicked, then I buried the remains! (Maude gasps) I was hoping to replace it before you got home.
Bart: But I heard a woman scream.
Ned: Oh? Well, now that I can't explain.
Lou: (holds up the plant) Found it, Chief.
Ned: (screams like a woman)
Bart: Oh. Well, I guess that explains everything.
Homer: Not everything! There's still the little matter of the whereabouts of your wife!
Maude: Um, I'm right here.
Homer: (sarcastically) Oh, I see. Then everything is wrapped up in a neat little PACKAGE! (everyone looks at him) Really, I mean that. Sorry if it sounded sarcastic.
Chief Wiggum: (to a skinny-dipping Homer and Marge) Do not be alarmed. Continue swimming naked. Aw, come on, continue! Come on! Aw. All right, Lou, open fire.
Otto: (about the Pool-mobile) Sorry, Bart dude. We gotta fill this thing with Epsom Salt and jam it on over to the old folks' home.
Marge: Is it true that we should wait at least an hour after eating before we go in?
Pool Salesman: Look, question lady, this job is not what I really do. I play keyboards.