Simpsons Wiki
Secrets of a Successful Marriage
Bart of Darkness
Lisa's Rival
Seymour Skinner: I hardly think it's fair to be charged full price. I'm up to my knees in the original cast of M*A*S*H.

Hans Moleman: Well, you're certainly doing your job, Mr. Sun. (Hans' glasses act as a burning glass with the sun's rays and ignite his shirt on fire)
Hans Moleman: Oh rats!

Ice Cream Man: (shouting as he drives by) Ice cream! Ice cream! We are all out of ice cream!

Bart {talking to himself}: No way that could be Ned Flanders.
Ned Flanders: (yelling in grief) I'M A MUR-DIDDLY-ER-DLER!!!
Bart: If that's not Flanders, he's done his homework.

Bart: Check it out Lis, I nabbed three swim trunks, all Martin's!
(Martin is shown wearing numerous swim trunks)
Martin: Take your best shot. I'm wearing seventeen layers.
(Kids mob Martin)
Martin: Ha ha ha!
(Kids leave and Martin is now naked)
Martin: Oh....I brought this on myself.

Lisa: Dad, as you know, we've been swimming and we've developed a taste for it. We both agree that getting a pool is the only way to go. Now before you respond, you must understand that your refusal will result in months and months of..
Bart and Lisa: Can we have a pool, dad? Can we have a pool, dad? Can we have a pool, dad? Can we have a pool, dad? Can we have a pool, dad?
Homer: I understand. Let us celebrate our new arrangement with the adding of chocolate to milk.

Dr. Hibbert: I'm sorry, that leg's gonna have to come off. Did I say leg? I meant that wet bathing suit.

Lisa: Shut up, brain! I've got friends now. I don't need you anymore.

Marge: Maybe we should spend more time with Bart. He's becoming isolated and weird.

Martin: My plan has come to fruition! Soon, I'll be queen of summertime! Oh, king! King!

Marge: [to Bart] Mmm, I wish you'd stop spreading bad rumors about people. Remember how you got Grampa tarred and feathered?
Bart: Sure, that was 20 minutes ago.

Bart: I'm telling you, Ned Flanders murdered his wife!
Homer: But why? She's such a fox! I mean, what's on Fox tonight? Something ribald, no doubt...

Bart: Oh no, he's going to kill Rod and Todd! That's theory.

Bart: But I saw the murder and then I saw you bury the corpse in the back yard!
Ned: (crying) All right, it's true. I am a murderer! (everyone gasps) I overwatered Maude's favorite ficus plant, I panicked, then I buried the remains! (Maude gasps) I was hoping to replace it before you got home.
Bart: But I heard a woman scream.
Ned: Huh? Well, now that I can't explain.
Lou: (holds up the plant) Found it, Chief.
Ned: (screams like a woman)
Bart: Oh. Well, I guess that explains everything.
Homer: Not everything! There's still the little matter of the whereabouts of your wife!
Maude: Um, I'm right here.
Homer: (sarcastically) Oh, I see. Then everything is wrapped up in a neat little PACKAGE! (everyone looks at him) Really, I mean that. Sorry if it sounded sarcastic.

Chief Wiggum: (to a skinny-dipping Homer and Marge) Do not be alarmed. Continue swimming naked. Aw, come on, continue! Come on! Aw. All right, Lou, open fire.

Otto: (about the Pool-mobile) Sorry, Bart dude. We gotta fill this thing with Epsom Salt and jam it on over to the old folks' home.

Marge: Is it true that we should wait at least an hour after eating before we go in?
Pool Salesman: Look, question lady, this job is not what I really do. I play keyboards.

(Bart falls from the treehouse)
Nelson: Pardon me a moment, Ha-ha!
Milhouse: Hey Nelson, he's really hurt. I think he broke his leg.
Nelson: I said "Ha-ha!"

Jimbo: Hello, Mrs. ... Bart. Is your pool ready yet?
Marge: Hrmmm...
(Several children walk through the kitchen as Marge is making peanut butter sandwiches.)
Marge: Bart, are all these children friends of yours?
Bart: (with his mouth full) Friends and well-wishers, yes.

Season 5 Season 6 Quotes Season 7
Bart of DarknessLisa's RivalAnother Simpsons Clip ShowItchy & Scratchy LandSideshow Bob RobertsTreehouse of Horror VBart's GirlfriendLisa on IceHomer BadmanGrampa vs. Sexual InadequacyFear of FlyingHomer the GreatAnd Maggie Makes ThreeBart's CometHomie the ClownBart vs. AustraliaHomer vs. Patty and SelmaA Star is BurnsLisa's WeddingTwo Dozen and One GreyhoundsThe PTA Disbands'Round SpringfieldThe Springfield ConnectionLemon of TroyWho Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One)