Lance (with pen in his mouth): You're welcome son, nurse, take this out of my mouth now!
Lisa: Mr. Murdock, my brother is thinking of jumping Springfield Gorge on a skateboard.
Lance: Could you leave me with the young age, please?
(The doctor and nurse walk away)
Lance: Now let me start by saying, good for you, son! It's always good to see young people taking an interest in danger. Now a lot of people are going to be telling you you're crazy, and maybe they're right. But the fact that the matter is, bones heal, chicks dig scars, and the United States of America has the best doctor to daredevil ratios in the world!
Lisa: But Captain Murdock!
Bart: Thanks Lance!
Lance: You're welcome little partner! On your way out, tell the nurse I'm ready for my sponge bath, another fringe benefit! Nurse, (pen in mouth).
Dr. Hibbert: These children have been hurt doing stunts they saw on television, movies and the legitimate stage. This little boy broke his leg trying to fly like Superman. His brother hit him with a wrench, mimicking a TV wrestling match. I won't show the horrors of our Three Stooges ward.
Marge: I didn't know TV was a dangerous influence.
Dr. Hibbert: It's tragic, but it's a small price to pay for top-notch entertainment!
[Homer is in the hospital next to Lance Murdock]
Homer: You think you got guts? Try raising my kids.
Otto: You know Bart, as the only adult here, I feel like I should say something.