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Transcript for Bart the Fink.
Part: 1[]
- [Thanks to Bart's alerting the bank about Krusty's Cayman Islands account, Krusty has been arrested. The bank clerk fills Bart in on what's happened.]
- Bank Clerk: It turns out Krusty is one of the biggest tax cheats in history, and they nailed him, all thanks to you. [Bart gasps.] Some might say you're a hero, kid. Not me, though. I love Krusty.
- [Bart groans.]
Part: 2[]
- Bart: Krusty? Hi. Is it okay if I sit down here.
- Krusty the Clown: Eh. Go ahead, kid. Knock yourself out. (Bart sits down.)
- Bart: I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused you, Krusty. But you know, my mom says God never closes a door without opening a window.
- Krusty the Clown: No offense, kid, but your mom's a dingbat. There's no silver lining here. I was a big cheese! A huge cheese! But now, look at me. I gotta ride the bus like a schnook! I gotta live in an apartment like an idiot! I gotta wait in line with nobodies to buy groceries from a failure!
- Bart: It doesn't matter how you live or what you did wrong! As long as you're on TV, people will respect you.
- Krusty the Clown: Respect? Pah! What good is respect without the moola to back it up? Everywhere I go, I see teachers in Ferraris, research scientists drinking champagne! I tried to drink a Coke on the bus, AND THEY TOOK AWAY MY PASS! That's no life for a famous clown.
- Bart: Well, if it'll make you feel any better, Krusty, you can punch me in the face.