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Tales from the Public Domain
Blame it on Lisa
Weekend at Burnsie's
Bart: (When Homer asks him if he made the phone call) No, sir. I didn't.
Homer: CHOKE ON YOUR LIES! [grabs Bart by the throat and starts strangling him]

Homer: Wait, wait, wait, so in August it's cold?
Lisa: That's right.
Homer: And in February, it's hot?
Lisa: Mm-hm.
Homer: So it's opposite land! Crooks chase cops, cats have puppies!
Lisa: No, Dad, it's just the weather.
Homer: So hot snow falls up?

Kidnapper #1: We should make our transfers in a safer place.
Kidnapper #2: It was Homer's idea. (Pulls out photo album with Homer's picture showing.) You say "No" to that face!

Bart: We'll never find Ronaldo.
Woman: (Gasps) Ronaldo?
Homer: Do you know him?
Woman: No no. I was just distracting you while my children rob you.

Homer: Can we stop? I have to go to the bathroom.
Kidnapper: You just went five minutes ago!
Homer: I have a bladder the size of a Brazilnut!
Kidnapper: We just call them nuts here.

Homer: The Simpsons are goin' to Brazil.
Bart: Then I'll have been on every continent.
Lisa: Except Antarctica.
Homer: The Simpsons are goin' to Antarctica… next year. This year Brazil.

Ronaldo: I make as much money as Malcolm in the Middle and because I am an orphan, my earnings remain unstolen.

Telemarketer: (while on the phone) Ma'am, would you be interested in changing your long distance service? What the... she hung up on me! What did I do? (Starts sobbing and another telemarketer beside him pats his back).

Lisa: Why must you fight with every utility?
Homer: I told you, I have too much time on my hands!

Homer: (as he sees the alley rats) Oooh! they look like Skittles (he tastes one of the rats).
Homer: (sniffs) Oh, That poor little boy... We've got to find him! How many people live in Brazil?
Lisa: A hundred and fifty-six million.
Homer: D'oh...
Bart: We've got to find him! (the family stares at him) What? I'm really concerned! (they continue to stare at him) Fine! I want to meet monkeys.

Season 12 Season 13 Quotes Season 14
Treehouse of Horror XIIThe Parent RapHomer the MoeA Hunka Hunka Burns in LoveThe Blunder YearsShe of Little FaithBrawl in the FamilySweets and Sour MargeJaws Wired ShutHalf-Decent ProposalThe Bart Wants What it WantsThe Lastest Gun in the WestThe Old Man and the KeyTales from the Public DomainBlame it on LisaWeekend at Burnsie'sGump RoastI Am Furious (Yellow)The Sweetest ApuLittle Girl in the Big TenThe Frying GamePoppa's Got a Brand New Badge