Mayor Quimby: Chief Wiggum, Archbishop McGee, distinguished guests, I am pleased to dedicate this emergency warning system. In the off-chance of a nuclear disaster, this sign will tell you, the good citizens of Springfield what to do.
Warning sign: [RELAX. EVERYTHING IS FINE.]
Warning sign: [MINOR RADIATION LEAK. ROLL UP WINDOWS.]
Warning sign: [MELTDOWN. FLEE CITY.]
Warning sign: [CORE EXPLOSION. REPENT SINS.]
Audience is in stunned silence over gravity of such a warning; all except for Carl, Homer, and Lenny, who are snickering because they think that warning sign is ridiculous
Homer: Joke's on them. If the core explodes, there won't be any power to light that sign!
Mr. Burns: Smithers, don't feel so bad. After all, that kidney you donated to me really hit the spot.
Bart: I don't have to give blood! I have rights!
Homer: Yeah, the right to remain silent!
Homer: It's not like I'm asking you to give blood for free! That would be crazy! When you save a rich man's life, he showers you with riches. You know "Hercules and the Lion"?
Bart: Is it a Bible story?
Homer: Yeah, probably. Once upon a time there was a big, mean lion who got a thorn in his paw. Everyone tried to pull it out but nobody was strong enough. They got Hercules. And Hercules used his mighty strength, and bingo! The moral is, the lion was so happy he gave Hercules this big thing of riches.
Bart: How did a lion get rich?
Homer: It was the olden days!
Homer: I've never seen Mr. Burns this mad, and he's always kind of mad!