Old Yeller-Belly
Brake My Wife, Please
The Bart of War
Judge Harm: Mr. Simpson, give me your license.
(Homer surrenders and she then puts the license on a guillotine. The blade chops it in half. She then has two Doberman Pinscher's eat it.)
Judge Harm: Burn that poop.

Homer: (to Marge) Calm down, Stresserella!

Homer: And now to all my dear friends I say, get the hell out of my yard.

Homer: I am so screwed! I can't drive to work! I can't drive to the store! And I certainly can't drive to the store at work!
Marge: I guess I'll have to do all your driving chores. That's what a good wife does, picks up the slack.
Homer: That reminds me. We gotta pick up my slacks at that dry cleaner in Shelbyville.
Marge: Why can't you use the local dry cleaner?
Homer: I didn't want him to know my size.

Homer: Thanks for picking my friends up from the strip club, Marge.
Lenny: Can we stop for ice cream?
Carl: Homer always stops for ice cream.
Marge: We'll see.
Lenny: That always means no.

Homer: Maybe I should keep walking instead of going into a dark, dreary bar.
Moe: Get in here, Boozy. You're late for your drunkening.
Homer: No. From now on walking will be my alcohol and feeling good will be my hangover. 

Homer: If Marge isn't happy, I'm not happy. And if I'm not happy, Moe's very happy. But for once, this isn't about Moe.

Homer: (after crashing his car in the water) Save me, Chaka Khan, Chaka Khan!

Homer: (after being rescued) Oh, I'll never mock the Coast Guard again. You Navy rejects are all right.

Moe: You want to know how to make a peach crumble? Kick it in the groin.

Carl: I can whip up my famous poulet au vin avec champignons a la Carl Mwah!
Homer: You can bring a bag of ice.

Season 13 Season 14 Quotes Season 15
Treehouse of Horror XIIIHow I Spent My Strummer VacationBart vs. Lisa vs. the Third GradeLarge MargeHelter ShelterThe Great Louse DetectiveSpecial EdnaThe Dad Who Knew Too LittleThe Strong Arms of the MaPray AnythingBarting OverI'm Spelling as Fast as I CanA Star is Born-AgainMr. Spritz Goes to WashingtonC.E. D'oh'Scuse Me While I Miss the SkyThree Gays of the CondoDude, Where's My Ranch?Old Yeller-BellyBrake My Wife, PleaseThe Bart of WarMoe Baby Blues
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.