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Homer's Phobia
Brother from Another Series
My Sister, My Sitter
Krusty: Hey, Hey! It's my old TV sidekick, Sideshow Bob! Why I haven't seen you in years. What have you been doing with yourself, Bob?
Sideshow Bob: Well, Krusty as you may remember, after I tried to frame you for armed robbery, I tried to murder Selma Bouvier. Let's see, I rigged the mayoral elections, I tried to blow up Springfield with a nuclear device and I tried to kill you.
Krusty: Oh yeah, yeah.
Bob: And whenever I could find a spare moment, I've tried to murder Bart Simpson.

Bart: Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy.
Lisa: And vice versa.

Bart: (praying) And please, God, kill Sideshow Bob.
Marge: You can't ask God to kill someone!
Homer: Yeah! Do your own dirty work!

(Bart has invaded Bob's date with Edna Krabappel, causing her to leave)
Bob: (remorseful) That was Edna Krabappel. You only get one chance with Edna Krabappel. I hope you're happy.

Krusty: Free comedy tip, slick: the pie gag's only funny when the sap's got dignity - like that guy! Hey Hal, pie job for Lord Autumnbottom, there!

Bob: You wanted to be Krusty's sidekick since you were five! What about the buffoon lessons? The four years at clown college?
Cecil: I'd thank you not to refer to Princeton that way.

Bob: (attempting to imitate crude catcalls) Oh, yeah! Shake it, madam. Capital knockers.

Cecil: Hello brother. All's well I trust?
Bob: It most certainly is not. The workmen you’ve given me don’t know their asses from the hole in the ground they accidentally blew yesterday.
Cecil: Come now. You speak as if they are slack-jawed yokels.
Cletus: Mr. Terwilliger, come quick! There's trouble down to the cement mixer, sir! See, Cousin Merle and me was playin' fetch with Geech - that's our old smellhound - and...
(cut to Geech encased in Concrete)
Merl: (sadly) Geech gone to Heaven, Mister Terwilliger.
Bob: (frustrated, growling) Oh, Cousin Merl, really?!
Cecil: Temper, temper! You know Cousin Merl ain't been quite right lately.
Bob: I'm telling you, Cecil, I can't take much more of this. Rustic workmen who've turned the Sani-John into a smokehouse. (Shot of a portable toilet, with smoke coming out of a chimney on its roof, and its door open, showing meat carcasses hanging from the ceiling) Coveralls that don't quite cover all! (Shot of Merl standing up, his back to the audience, looking slack-jawed at Bob. The remaining button on the rear flap on Merl's coveralls gives way, causing the flap to fall and expose his bare buttocks.) And a psychotic little boy who will not stop hounding me! THIS little boy! Right here! (Spins a wide piece of pipe suspended from a rope around, showing that Bart is hiding inside; menacingly) Sometimes I wish this dam would burst, and bury this cursed town.

Cecil: Now, make yourself at home. Perhaps a glass of Bordeaux? I have the '82 Chateau Latour and a rather indifferent Rauzan-Segla.
Bob: I've been in prison, Cecil. I'll be happy just as long as it doesn't taste like orange drink fermented under a radiator.
Cecil: That would be the Latour, then.

Bob: Just the thought of all that raw, surging power makes me wonder why the hell I should care.
Cecil: Because, you'll be supervising the construction crew.
Bob: Oh great, whenever a woman walks by, I suppose it will be my job to lead the hooting - 'Oh yeah! Shake it, madam! Capital knockers!'

Cecil: I'm framing you and I'm doing a really excellent job, too.
Bob: Wait a minute. This is all because I got to be Krusty's sidekick instead of you, isn't it?
Cecil: Off the record, yes. But officially, I did it for the money.

(Cecil is about to detonate the explosives, when suddenly Bart jumps onto him from behind)
Bart: [holding Cecil's eyes closed from behind] Guess who?
Cecil: Maris?

(Bart and Bob are hanging by the dynamite from the dam)
Bob: [wire cutters in hand] Bart, how would you like to do something incredibly noble?
Bart: Do we have to?
Bob: Yes. [cuts wire]

Season 7 Season 8 Quotes Season 9
Treehouse of Horror VIIYou Only Move TwiceThe Homer They FallBurns, Baby BurnsBart After DarkA Milhouse DividedLisa's Date with DensityHurricane NeddyEl Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer (The Mysterious Voyage of Homer)The Springfield FilesThe Twisted World of Marge SimpsonMountain of MadnessSimpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-ciousThe Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie ShowHomer's PhobiaBrother from Another SeriesMy Sister, My SitterHomer vs. the Eighteenth AmendmentGrade School ConfidentialThe Canine MutinyThe Old Man and the LisaIn Marge We TrustHomer's EnemyThe Simpsons Spin-Off ShowcaseThe Secret War of Lisa Simpson