- Bart: Welcome to lecture number 8 on the water balloon. Yesterday, I asked everyone to think of other liquids you could fill a balloon with.
- Milhouse: Water?
(Nelson punches him in the gut)
- Bart: Thank you, Nelson. Anyone else?
- Kearney: Hot sauce?
- Bart: Kearney, that could blind someone. You get an "A".
- Marge: (about Bart) That boy failed show and tell, but he's on our ass like Sherlock Holmes!
- Stewardess [to Homer]: Sir, what would you like for dinner? One Steak or two steaks?
- Homer: Can I have both?
- Stewardess: Of course, sir.
- Marge: Your father and I are trying to lose ourselves in this romatic fantasy
- Homer: Yeah! We're trying to create a mood here, so shut the hell up!
- U.S. Customs Officer: Beat it, you puck-slapping maple suckers.
- Canada Customs Officer: Take a hike, you Shatner-stealing Mexico touchers.
- Homer: As the Bible says, screw that.
- Homer [to Bart & Lisa]: Fine, stay here and rot with Grampa.
- Grampa: I'm only rotting on the right side!
- Homer: I'll right side you!
- Homer (to Marge): We're alone now.
- Bart: You're never alone in this crap shack.
- Homer: Why you little! (smashes the wall with his arms and chokes Bart)
- Lisa: I'm going into the Gold Medallion club, with Silver Level membership! (laughs)
- Man: The hell you are! (loads shotgun)
- Lisa: At least I was planned!
- Marge: Stop it! No one was planned!
- Bart: So, Mom and Dad are going to Atlantic City! But their luggage isn't. (laughs) And Homer's getting a no fat meal.
(cut to the plane)
- Homer: NOOOO!!!
