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American History X-cellent
Chief of Hearts
The Squirt and the Whale
Judge: Homer Simpson, for causing a panic in the bank you are hereby sentenced to 100 hours of community service!
Homer: Community service? But that's work. What about jail?
Judge: [bangs gavel] Community service!
Homer: No, I want to go to jail! Free food! Teardrop Tattoos! Library books that come to you! I'll serve anything but the community! [is dragged out by police]

Johnny Tightlips: Nobody moves or the doughboy gets popped!
Homer: (screams)
Chief Wiggum: Take your hands off my brother from another mother!
(Wiggum wrestles with Tightlips with the gun and accidentally shoots himself)
Louie: Let's get out of here!
Chief Wiggum: Not to worry, Homer. That's what bullet proof vests are for.
(Wiggum looks in the car to see his bullet-proof vest, which means he isn't wearing it and he is in big trouble.)
Chief Wiggum: Uh-oh. (Falls unconscious to the ground. Lou rushes to his side.)

Homer: Is he gonna be okay?
Dr. Hibbert: It's going to be touch and go. His left lung was filled with Shamrock Shake. McDonald's didn't even sell them this year.

(Homer is in hospital. Sarah Wiggum is weeping for her husband.)
Homer: Don't worry, Sarah. Clancy was there for me. I'll be there for him.

Homer: Don't die on me, Clancy. You said our friendship was so special. If it was so special, wake up you fat sack of...

(Bart go to group of boys During Dylan's birthday.)
Boy 1: You don't know Battle Ball?
Boy 2: It's a Japanese Card game, based on a cartoon, based on an ancient religion, based on a candy bar.
Boy 3: It makes Digimon look like Pokemon.
Bart: What! Impossible!

(Marge has found she actually likes Battle Ball)
Marge: Hey, that's actually rather neat. (Picks up ball-robot and palms it)
(A moment later, Bart is flushing Battle Ball down the toilet)
Bart: It can't be cool if my Mom likes them! (Toilet begins to overflow) Come on toilet, if you can handle Dad, you can handle this!


Season 20 Season 21 Quotes Season 22
Homer the WhopperBart Gets a "Z"The Great Wife HopeTreehouse of Horror XXThe Devil Wears NadaPranks and GreensRednecks and BroomsticksO Brother, Where Bart Thou?Thursdays with AbieOnce Upon a Time in SpringfieldMillion Dollar MaybeBoy Meets CurlThe Color YellowPostcards From the WedgeStealing First BaseThe Greatest Story Ever D'ohedAmerican History X-cellentChief of HeartsThe Squirt and the WhaleTo Surveil With LoveMoe Letter BluesThe Bob Next DoorJudge Me Tender
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