- “Stay off the west side!”
Cookie Kwan is a go-getter in the imploding Springfield real-estate industry, the self-proclaimed "number one on the west side". She is of Asian (possibly Chinese) heritage and has a stereotypical Asian accent, implying she's likely an immigrant. She works at Red Blazer Realty, and considers herself a very eligible bachelorette.
Cookie was introduced in the episode "Realty Bites" as a cut-throat realtor at Red Blazer Realty. She considered Springfield's "west side" to be her exclusive domain, and bullied all the other realtors, including Marge and Gil to "stay off" of her territory.
She is friends with Lindsey Naegle, and the two are depicted as being quite man-crazy. She once offered to have Homer move to her house. She once had a relationship with Mayor Quimby and they had a son, but Quimby gave him to one of his bodyguards. She was one of the 37 women filing paternity suits against Quimby.
Cookie went to Camp Land-A-Man with Marge, Helen Lovejoy, Luann Van Houten, Patty and Selma when she was a child. Marge arranged a date with Homer, but he didn't appear, so Marge left. Cookie told everyone at the camp about it and that Marge was pregnant.
- Cookie is the main Asian-American character on the show after Akira.
- Cookie has a Facebook account and is friends with Mark Zuckerberg.
- She is an insectivore.
- 9 minutes into "Love Is in the N2-O2-Ar-CO2-Ne-He-CH4" after yoga scene:
Jonathan Frink (speaking on phone with Homer): Is there such a thing as too much of a good thing?
Cookie: This is my cousin, Nookie Kwan.
Nookie: I'm number one on the east side!
Frink: Oh gay-layvin.
- Large Marge
- She Used to Be My Girl
- The Way We Weren't
- Waverly Hills 9-0-2-1-D'oh
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