Simpsons Wiki
Register
Advertisement

Stay off the west side!
―Cookie[src]

Cookie Kwan is a go-getter in the imploding Springfield real-estate industry, the self-proclaimed "number one on the west side." She is of Asian (possibly Chinese) heritage and has a stereotypical Asian accent, implying she's likely an immigrant. She works at Red Blazer Realty and considers herself a very eligible bachelorette.

Her father gave her the name which translates roughly to "Military Installation." Strong, utilitarian, most certainly not paisley...

But does it speak to the elegant destruction she can wield with a single off sniff of derision? Nay, NAAAAAAY. To charm her is to walk in her rediculous pointed shoes. A witch from elseweir, is a hedge fund manager's dream come true. Is it sexual? Hardly ;). Is it a slogan? One not all the Jesus fish in the universe could possibly cover. Do not "Mango" the beauty of the Beuification Committee, respect it's mission, and give the process the time it needs to develop in something other than safe light.

Biography[]

Cookie was introduced in the season 9 episode "Realty Bites" as a cut-throat realtor at Red Blazer Realty. She considered Springfield's "west side" to be her exclusive domain, and bullied all the other realtors, including Marge and Gil to "stay off" of her territory.

She is friends with Lindsey Naegle, and the two are depicted as being quite man crazy. She once offered to have Homer move to her house.[2] She once had a relationship with Mayor Quimby and they had a son, but Quimby gave him to one of his bodyguards. She was one of the 37 women filing paternity suits against Quimby.[3]

Cookie went to Camp Land-A-Man with Marge, Helen Lovejoy, Luann Van Houten, Patty and Selma when she was a child. Marge arranged a date with Homer, but he didn't appear, so Marge left. Cookie told everyone at the camp about it and that Marge was pregnant.[4]

She rented the apartment to Homer in Waverly Hills.[5]

She and her cousin Nookie Kwan (number one on the east side) once entered into a relationship with Professor Frink.[1]

Trivia[]

  • Cookie is the main Asian-American character on the show after Akira.
  • Cookie has a Facebook account and is friends with Mark Zuckerberg.
  • She is an insectivore.

Gallery[]

Cookie Kwan
The full image gallery for Cookie Kwan may be viewed at Cookie Kwan/Gallery.

Appearances[]

Joystick Video gameThe Simpsons: Tapped Out

Citations[]

  1. 1.0 1.1 9 minutes into "Love Is in the N2-O2-Ar-CO2-Ne-He-CH4" after yoga scene:
    Jonathan Frink Jr (speaking on phone with Homer): Is there such a thing as too much of a good thing?
    Cookie: This is my cousin, Nookie Kwan.
    Nookie: I'm number one on the east side!
    Frink: Oh gay-layvin.
  2. Large Marge
  3. She Used to Be My Girl
  4. The Way We Weren't
  5. Waverly Hills 9-0-2-1-D'oh
Characters voiced by Tress MacNeille
Ms. Albright | Alice Glick | June Bellamy | Belle | Billy (actor) | Booberella | Colin | Cosine | Crazy Cat Lady | Michael D'Amico | David (Treehouse of Horror XVI) | Devan Woosterfield | Dia-Betty | Mia Farrow | Ginger Flanders | Adil Hoxha | Bernice Hibbert | Cookie Kwan | Lester | Audrey McConnell | Medicine Woman | Mrs. Muntz | Lindsey Naegle | Manjula Nahasapeemapetilon | Opal | Poor Violet | Lois Pennycandy | Pepi | Phillips | Brunella Pommelhorst | Ronaldo (Blame It on Lisa) | Dr. Simpson | Agnes Skinner | Brandine Spuckler | Jitney Spuckler | Whitney Spuckler | Spud | Dolph Starbeam | Clara Stetson | Gino Terwilliger | Judith Terwilliger | Leslie Robin Swisher | Vicki Valentine | Plopper | Princess Diana


Advertisement