Stay off the west side!

Cookie Kwan is a go-getter in the imploding Springfield real-estate industry, the "number one on the west side". She is of Asian (possibly Chinese) heritage and has a stereotypical Asian accent. She works at Red Blazer Realty.


She is very aggressive toward anyone whom she deems a threat to her business, as she once warned Marge to "stay off the West Side!" and said to Gil, "Were you talking about the West Side?" He responds, "No, Cookie, I swear! I'm-I'm scared of you!"[2]

Both Cookie and Lindsey Naegle often look for a man. She once offered to have Homer move to her house.[3] She once had a relationship with Mayor Quimby and they had a son, but Quimby gave him to one of his bodyguards, so she was one of the 37 women filing paternity suits against Quimby.[4]

Cookie went to Camp Land-A-Man with Marge, Helen Lovejoy, Luann Van Houten, Patty and Selma when she was a child. Marge had arranged a date with Homer, but he didn't appear, so Marge went out of the camp. Cookie told everyone at the camp about it and that Marge was pregnant.[5]

She rented Homer the apartment he stayed in in Waverly Hills.[6]

She and her cousin Nookie Kwan (number one on the east side) once entered into a relationship with Jonathan Frink.[1]



Cookie Kwan oldversion.png
The full image gallery for Cookie Kwan may be viewed at Cookie Kwan/Gallery.



  1. 1.0 1.1 9 minutes into "Love Is in the N2-O2-Ar-CO2-Ne-He-CH4" after yoga scene:
    Jonathan Frink (speaking on phone with Homer): Is there such a thing as too much of a good thing?
    Cookie: This is my cousin, Nookie Kwan.
    Nookie: I'm number one on the east side!
    Frink: Oh gay-layvin.
  2. Realty Bites
  3. Large Marge
  4. She Used to Be My Girl
  5. The Way We Weren't
  6. Waverly Hills 9-0-2-1-D'oh
Characters voiced by Tress MacNeille
Ms. Albright | Alice Glick | June Bellamy | Belle | Billy (actor) | Booberella | Colin | Cosine | Crazy Cat Lady | Michael D'Amico | David (Treehouse of Horror XVI) | Devan Woosterfield | Dia-Betty | Mia Farrow | Ginger Flanders | Mrs. Glick | Adil Hoxha | Bernice Hibbert | Cookie Kwan | Lester | Audrey McConnell | Medicine Woman | Mrs. Muntz | Lindsey Naegle | Manjula Nahasapeemapetilon | Opal | Poor Violet | Lois Pennycandy | Pepi | Phillips | Brunella Pommelhorst | Ronaldo (Blame It on Lisa) | Dr. Simpson | Agnes Skinner | Brandine Spuckler | Jitney Spuckler | Whitney Spuckler | Spud | Dolph Starbeam | Clara Stetson | Gino Terwilliger | Dame Judith Underdunk | Veronica | Vicki Valentine | Plopper | Princess Diana

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