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The Joy of Sect
Das Bus
The Last Temptation of Krust
(While in the Simpsons' living room, the family are watching this great film...)
God: Noah! They shalt builts thyself an ark, measuring 300 cubits in length!
Troy McClure: (writing on a stone tablet) 300 cubits... give or take.
God: Exactly 300! And thou shalt taketh two of every creature!
Troy McClure: (writing it down) Two creatures.
God: Two of EVERY creature!
Troy McClure: Even stink beetles?
God: ESPECIALLY stink beetles!

Bart: Woah, cool, God is so in your face!
Homer: Yeah, he's my favorite fictional character.

Marge: Oh, it's so late! You kids have to go to bed!
Bart: But the flood is only knee-high! At least let us watch it 'til the midgets drown!

Principal Skinner: This is our last chance to bone up. And bone we will!
Students (except Lisa): (laugh)
Bart: Lighten up, Lis!

Principal Skinner: Poland, tell us about your nation's achievements.
Milhouse: Well, uh, I heard they sent a rocket to the sun once... at night. And there was that submarine with the screen doors.
Principal Skinner: No, no, no, no, no. You need to do some serious boning.
Lisa: (chuckles)
Bart: Oh, grow up, Lis.

Principal Skinner: Okay, Libya. Exports.
Bart: Yes sir... you American pig!
Principal Skinner: (laughs) Nice touch.
Bart: Uh... Let's see. Uh... the exports of Libya are numerous in amount. One thing they export is corn... or, as the Indians call it, maize. Another famous Indian was Crazy Horse. In conclusion, Libya is a land of contrasts.

Bart: Food patrol, we're all starved! Let's see what you've got.
Lisa: (holds up three berries)
Bart: That's it? What happened to all the lobsters, mangoes and chewy chewy cocoa beans?
Lisa: All we found were these oozing berries and they look pretty poisonous. (squishes a purple berry)
Ralph: I eated the purple berries... oh (clutches stomach), oh (bends down), aah! (falls over)
Bart: How are they Ralph... good?
Ralph: They taste like (pause) burning.
Bart: Okay, food patrol blew it.
Milhouse: Yeah? Well, your treehouse looks kind of crummy. Kind of really crummy. (gestures to a crudely made treehouse out of twigs)
Bart: Well, when monsoon season comes, you'll be glad it's there.
(the treehouse collapses)
Bart: Oh, no food, no shelter, no monkey butlers. This island is a death hole. We should have just swam for it like Otto.
(meanwhile out in the open ocean, Otto is near exhaustion from all the swimming)
Otto: Well, I'm done for. At least I'll leave a beautiful corpse. (sinks beneath water, but is then raised by being caught in a fishing net where he is deposited onto a Chinese-flagged fishing trawler with hundreds of fish)
Otto: Oh, ho! Thank the Good Dude, I'm saved! And we can go back for the kids too!
Fisherman #1: {speaking Cantonese} Do we need another slave laborer in the cannery?
Fisherman #2: {speaking Cantonese} You can never have too many slave laborers.
Otto: I think I am going to like it on this boat!

Sherri: This is all Lisa's fault! She had the idea of that stupid UN club!
Lisa: Hey, Martin stood for the motion. It's entirely his fault!
Nelson: People, people, let's not blame each other. We all know this is Milhouse's fault!

Bart: What's everyone's problem? I'm glad we're stranded. It'll be just like The Swiss Family Robinson, only with more cursing. We're gonna live like kings. Damn, hell, ass kings.

Bart: Let's get to work. Me and Nelson will build the tree house. Martin, draw up plans for a coconut radio and, if possible, a coconut Nintendo system.
Lisa: What about the rest of us?
Bart: You guys gather food for the big feast tonight, and maybe a little wine for the older kids.

Sherri: I'm so hungry I could eat at Arby's!
Lisa, Nelson, Terri: Oh my gosh!
Nelson: That is hungry.
Lisa: Really hungry!

Principal Skinner: Order! Do you kids want to be like the real UN? Or do you just want to squabble and waste time?

Ned: Maude and I sell religious foot rugs over the internet.
Homer: Internet, eh?
Ned: Yes indeedy, making some good scratch too.
Homer: Scratch, eh?
Ned: Yep!
Homer: Maude, eh?

Homer: (to Bill Gates) Hey, you don't look so rich.
Bill Gates: Don't let the haircut fool you, I'm exceedingly wealthy.

Lisa(licking the slime off of the rock) Savages.

Chief Wiggum: Good luck, Ralphie. If your nose starts bleeding, it means you're picking it too much. Or not enough.

Principal Skinner: Remember, Otto. We're trusting you with our greatest natural resource: the school bus.

(Everyone hears a low growling noise)
Milhouse: It's the monster! (puffs on his inhaler)
Bart: No it's not, it's my tummy. (Nelson scowls at him) I mean, stomach. Guts. ...Crap factory. (Nelson nods approvingly)

(chanting)
Nelson: Kill the dorks!
Lewis: Bash their butts!
Sherri: Kick their shins!
Nelson, Martin, Lewis, Wendell, Ralph, Sherri, Terri: Kill the dorks! Bash their butts!
Lisa: Run a-way!

Narrator: So the children learned how to function as a society, and eventually they were rescued by, oh, let's say... Moe.


Season 8 Season 9 Quotes Season 10
The City of New York vs. Homer SimpsonThe Principal and the PauperLisa's SaxTreehouse of Horror VIIIThe Cartridge FamilyBart StarThe Two Mrs. NahasapeemapetilonsLisa the SkepticRealty BitesMiracle on Evergreen TerraceAll Singing, All DancingBart CarnyThe Joy of SectDas BusThe Last Temptation of KrustDumbbell IndemnityLisa the SimpsonThis Little WiggySimpson TideThe Trouble with TrillionsGirly EditionTrash of the TitansKing of the HillLost Our LisaNatural Born Kissers
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