No edit summary |
No edit summary |
||
| Line 16: | Line 16: | ||
:'''Homer''': Ray, would you help me fix my roof? |
:'''Homer''': Ray, would you help me fix my roof? |
||
:'''Ray''': Sure, I'll help it! On one condition. (He holds the jug full of beer) You have to help me finish the picture of beer! |
:'''Ray''': Sure, I'll help it! On one condition. (He holds the jug full of beer) You have to help me finish the picture of beer! |
||
| − | ---- |
||
| − | :'''[[Marge]]''': I'm going to take the dog to the V-E-T. |
||
| − | :'''[[Santa's Little Helper]]''': Huh? |
||
| − | :'''Marge''': Then I'm going to take Bart to get C-I-R-C-U-M-C-I-S-E-D. |
||
| − | :'''[[Bart]]''': Huh? |
||
| − | :'''Marge''': Uh...I'll tell you what it means when it's over. |
||
| − | ---- |
||
| − | :(Homer annoys [[Julius Hibbert|Dr. Hibbert]] by eating his mouth guard before being given shock therapy) |
||
| − | :'''Homer''': Sorry. Give me one that doesn't taste so delicious. |
||
| − | :'''Dr. Hibbert''': That was rubber covered in Vaseline. |
||
| − | :'''Homer''': Marge, write that down so we can have it at home. |
||
---- |
---- |
||
:(Homer walks down the street in sorrow) |
:(Homer walks down the street in sorrow) |
||
Revision as of 05:53, 15 November 2017
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |||||||
|
Don't Fear the Roofer |
|
- Homer: How did it come to this? I'm the first man ever to feel depressed in a bar. I don't have a friend in the world.
- (A shatter voice speaks)
- Ray: (smiling) Look at the size of that nacho plate! (It's Ray Magini, in orange shirt and black trousers and black boots) I haven't seen this much melted cheese since I left my Billy Joel albums out in the sun.
- Homer: (surprised) HUH?! (starts laughing) Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! The sun.
- Ray: Hey, you want to split this?
- Homer: Wow. It's been so long since I've been with someone who doesn't know what a selfish pig I am. (They start to eat) Mine! Move your head! I can't take it!
- Ray: Hey. My name is Ray Ray Magini. (shakes Homer's hand)
- Homer: Ray, you know mean better than everyone. How could I get my wife to love me again?
- Ray: Hey, I'm no Marriage-consluer. Just a licensed and Bonded-roofer.
- (Homer thoughts it's Simpsons' house (plus) Ray Magini (equal) Marge is so happy)
- Homer: Ray, would you help me fix my roof?
- Ray: Sure, I'll help it! On one condition. (He holds the jug full of beer) You have to help me finish the picture of beer!
- (Homer walks down the street in sorrow)
- Homer: Stupid Homer-hating family. At least there's only one place I'm always welcome.
- Barflies: (singing) For he's a jolly good fellow...
- Homer: Aw, guys. This is just what I needed.
- Moe: This ain't for you, sweat stain. It's a surprise party for Lenny thrown by his closest friends.
- Homer: So what's Stephen Hawking doing here?
- Hawking: I live here now. You're looking at the new owner of the Little Caesar's down the street. (It says "Pizza-pizza") Sorry, that button sticks.
- Homer: So why didn't you invite me?
- Carl: We couldn't tell you ahead of time because you'd spill the beans.
- Homer: I wouldn't ruin a surprise for Lenny. (Lenny opens the door)
- Lenny: Surprise? What surprise? (Everybody blow their horns and get disappointed)
- Barney: (to Homer, glaring) Way to go, Homer!
- Moe: (angrily) Ugh, six years' planning down the drain!
- Homer: (meek, defeated) I'm sorry. I'll just sit over here until you stop being mad at me. (He sits on a fake stool and ruins it)
- Carl: (furious) Oh great, Homer! I bake a cake shaped like Lenny's favorite barstool, and you wrecked it!
- (Homer is still feeling depressed, Lenny, Carl, Hawking and others glaring at him)
- Homer: (sadly) Well, I can see I'm not wanted here. (He stands up and walks)
- Moe: Wait, Homer! Don't go. (He cleans Homer's bottom with his knife over splatted cake) Okay, beat it! Who wants ass frosting?
- Hawking: No thanks. I'm on Atkins.
- Dr. Hibbert: (worried) Homer, can I please get knock off?! I got surgery in the morning!
- Homer: (still angrily) Not if those gutters aren't clean, you don't! (Dr. Hibbert grumbles)
- Ray: So, as I was saying, Homer, Mondays, 9 o' clock, CBS. They say everybody loves that guy, but I don't get it.
- Homer: (puzzled) What are you talking about?
- Ray: Eh, I'm just saying, catch it while you still can.
- (Both Ray and Homer laugh as the camera slowly zooms out the shot of them sitting on the roof. They start talking again as the end credits start)
- (Homer and his family discovers that Ray is real)
- Homer: So Ray does exist?
- Ray: That's right! now let's explore the improbable series of events which led to this amusing yet tragic farce.
- Knockers Bar Man: On the count of my eyepad, I couldn't see Ray sitting at the bar. All I saw was you, eating and drinking and talking to yourself.
- Ray: And Ned, you didn't see me because I was hiding behind the chimney.
- Ned: Oh, Jez, I thought my vision was perfect and here I was, worshiping false eyeballs.
- Bart: Wait, wait wait wait. How come at builders' barn I saw Homer talking to thin air?
- Ray: Well, that... hmm...
- Stephen Hawking: I can answer that! (Enters the room) I've been tracking a tear on the texture of space-time which combined with airborne pieces of metal at Builders' Barn to create a miniature black hole. this abnormal lead interposed itself between Homer and Bart causing a gravitational lens which absorbed the light reflected from Ray the roofer. (Everybody look at Lisa)
- Lisa: That seems... Feasible. (Everybody celebrates)
- Marge: Wait! There's still one last thing that doesn't makes sense! (To Ray) Why did you started fixing our roof and just disappear?
- Ray: That's easy! I'm a contractor. (Everyone laughs)