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− | |episode=Don't Fear the Roofer |
+ | |episode=Don't Fear the Roofer}} |
− | }} |
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{{PrevNext|Quo |Future-Drama|The Heartbroke Kid}} |
{{PrevNext|Quo |Future-Drama|The Heartbroke Kid}} |
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− | :'''[[Homer]]''': How did it come to this? I'm the first man ever to feel depressed in a bar. |
+ | :'''[[Homer]]''': How did it come to this? I'm the first man ever to feel depressed in a bar. I don't have a friend in the world. |
+ | :(A shatter voice speaks) |
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+ | :'''Voice''': (smiling) Look at the size of that nacho plate! (It's [[Ray Magini]], in orange shirt and black trousers and black boots) |
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+ | :'''Ray''': I haven't seen this much melted cheese since I left my [[wikipedia:Billy Joel discography |Billy Joel albums]] out in the sun. |
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+ | :'''Homer''': (surprised) HUH?!'' ''(starts laughing) Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! The sun. |
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+ | :'''Ray''': Hey, you want to split this? |
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+ | :'''Homer''': Wow. It's been so long since I've been with someone who doesn't know what a selfish pig I am. (They start to eat) Mine! Move your head! I can't take it! |
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+ | :'''Ray''': Hey. My name is Ray '''(Ray Magini)'''. (shakes Homer's hand) |
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+ | :'''Homer''': Ray, you know mean better than everyone. How could I get my wife to love me again? |
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+ | :'''Ray''': It's me, I'm a MARGE-calculator. Just likes it and Bottom-roofer. |
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+ | :(Homer thoughts it's Simpsons' house (plus) Ray Magini (equal) Marge is so happy) |
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+ | :'''Ray''': Sure, I'll help it! I had a one citation. (He holds the jug full of beer) You could help me finish the picture of beer? |
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---- |
---- |
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+ | :'''[[Marge]]''': I'm going to take the dog to the V-E-T. |
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− | :{{For|7th episode of [[Season 22]] with references of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy|Billy style]|''the 7th episode starring Santa's Little Helper gets happy-go-lucky''|How Munched Is That Birdie in the Window?}} |
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− | : '''[[Marge]]''': I'm going to take the dog to the V-E-T.[[File:How Munched Is That Birdie in the Window 92.JPG|thumb|222x222px|[[Santa's Little Helper]] was referred to Nergal Jr.'s cousin, [[wikipedia:List of The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy characters#Billy|Billy]] [[wikipedia:John Kricfalusi|drawn-off]] style from ''[[wikipedia:The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy|The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy]] ''version.]] |
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− | ==<nowiki/>== |
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− | : {{For|[[Lenny Leonard|Lenny]]'s good shape|the nice, delicious food of events|[[:commons:Birthday cake icons|Birthday cake]]}} |
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− | : '''[[Moe Szyslak|Moe]]''': ''(angrily) ''Ugh, ''It's'' 6 years day! '''DOWN THE DRIMMED!''' |
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---- |
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− | '''[[Julius Hibbert|Dr. Hibbert]]''': Homer, that's just a bite on it, not to eat. |
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− | '''Dr. Hibbert:''' ''(to Marge)'' We can't begin his treatment soon enough. |
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− | ''(after Homer begin electroshock treatment! Dr. Hibbert turns it off.)'' |
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− | '''Marge:''' How do you feel, sweety? |
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− | '''Dr. Hibbert:''' Do you see anyone here, who isn't here? |
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− | '''Homer:''' No. Just you, Marge and [[:wikipedia:Yogi Be|Yogi Bear]]. Ha, '''kidding!?''' |
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− | '''Dr. Hibbert:''' ''(laughs)'' Well I see your sense of humor is not affected. That's a very bad sign. |
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− | ==<nowiki/>== |
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− | <nowiki/> |
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− | '''Dr. Hibbert''': Where let you go? When the ment there is '''NO''' Ray Magini. |
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− | [[File:Don't Fear the Roofer 69.JPG|thumb|241x241px|'''We now [[wikipedia:Purr-Chance to Dream|treat march madness]].''']] |
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− | '''Homer''': Fine! Any minute. ''HELP ME, RAY! APPEARANCE STRIKE THEM DOWN!!'' |
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− | '''Marge''': Homer, no anybody see Ray but you. |
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− | '''Homer''': But that's not true. Bart's at Builder's Barn. |
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− | '''Bart''': '' ''No, I didn't, Dad. I saw you talking to yourself. |
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− | ''(Bart and Marge are feel gloomy except for Lisa is a [[wikipedia:Roo|cute depressed]].)'' |
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− | '''Homer''': Flanders, you ''saw'' Ray on a roof ''with'' me? |
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− | '''Ned''': Yes, sorry Homer. You ''have'' to call me '''"references"'''? But I ''don't'' think I sorry. |
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− | '''Homer''': They has to ''be'' someone, who saw him? Someone who ''doesn't hate'' me like Flanders and Bart. ''(gasps) '''''Wait'''...''[[commons:File:Tender is the night.jpg|The Bart Tender At Knockers]]''! |
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− | '''Marge''': ''(like in [[wikipedia:Wonder Woman|Wonder Woman]]-style [[commons::Category:Japanese|Japanese]]) ''I call that, Boosin-Bar. ''The Bart Tender'' said "If they alone". |
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− | '''Dr. Hibbert''': Ray's of think to the imagination, Homer. It only, ''not'' a prostration, so, ''you'' make it up. |
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− | '''[[Lisa Simpson|Lisa]]''': Here's the '''clincher''', Ray Magini is an anagram for the imaginary. |
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---- |
---- |
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+ | :(Homer walks down the street in sorrow) |
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− | |||
− | :''' |
+ | :'''Homer''': Stupid Homer-hating family. At least there's only one place I'm always welcome. |
+ | :'''Barflies''': (''singing'') For he's a jolly good fellow... |
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− | :''' |
+ | :'''Homer''': Aw, guys. This is just what I needed. |
+ | :'''[[Moe Szyslak|Moe]]''': This ain't for you, sweat stain. It's a surprise party for Lenny thrown by his closest friends. |
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+ | :'''Homer''': So what's Stephen Hawking doing here? |
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+ | :'''Hawking''': I live here now. You're looking at the new owner of the Little Caesar's down the street. (He says "Pizza-pizza" until he fixes the button) Sorry, that button sticks. |
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+ | :'''Homer''': So why didn't you invite me? |
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+ | :'''Carl''': We couldn't tell you ahead of time because you'd spill the beans. |
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+ | :'''Homer''': I wouldn't ruin a surprise for Lenny. (Lenny overhears and opens the door) |
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+ | :'''Moe''': Ugh, six years' planning down the drain! (he throws down his party hat) |
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+ | :(Homer is still feeling depressed, Lenny, Carl, Hawking and others glaring at him) |
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+ | :'''Homer''': (sadly) Well, I can see I'm not wanted here. (He stands up and walks towards the door) |
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+ | :'''Moe''': Wait, Homer! Don't go. (He cleans Homer's bottom with his knife over splatted cake) Okay, beat it! (shoves Homer out the door) Who wants ass frosting? |
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+ | :'''Hawking''': No thanks. I'm on Atkins. |
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+ | ---- |
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+ | :'''Dr. Hibbert''': (worried) Homer, can I please get knocked off?! I got surgery in the morning! |
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+ | :'''Homer''': (still angrily) Not until those gutters are clean, you don't! (Dr. Hibbert grumbles) |
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+ | :'''Ray''': So, as I was saying, Homer, Mondays, 9 o' clock, CBS. They say everybody loves that guy, but I don't get it. |
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+ | :'''Homer''': (puzzled) What are you talking about? |
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+ | :'''Ray''': Eh, I'm just saying, catch it while you still can. |
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+ | :(Both Ray and Homer laugh as the camera slowly zooms out the shot of them sitting on the roof. They start talking again as the end credits start) |
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:'''Homer''': What time's this show on? |
:'''Homer''': What time's this show on? |
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− | :'''Ray''': Monday 9 |
+ | :'''Ray''': At Monday, 9 o' clock, CBS. |
− | :'''Homer''': And what's the network? |
+ | :'''Homer''': And, what's the network? |
− | :'''Ray''': CBS |
+ | :'''Ray''': CBS. |
:'''Homer''': At what time? |
:'''Homer''': At what time? |
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− | :'''Ray''': 9 |
+ | :'''Ray''': 9 o' clock. |
− | :'''Homer''': And if I wanna watch it what day? |
+ | :'''Homer''': And if I wanna watch it, what day? |
− | :'''Ray''': Monday. Monday 9 |
+ | :'''Ray''': Monday. Monday, 9 o' clock. |
− | :'''Homer''': And this is on the radio? |
+ | :'''Homer''': And, this is on the radio? |
− | :'''Ray''': No it's television Mondays at 9 on CBS |
+ | :'''Ray''': No, it's television. Mondays at 9 on CBS. |
− | :'''Homer''': And if I wanna see it what time should I watch it? |
+ | :'''Homer''': And if I wanna see it, what time should I watch it? |
− | :'''Ray''': 9 |
+ | :'''Ray''': 9 o' clock. |
:'''Homer''': On what channel? |
:'''Homer''': On what channel? |
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:'''Ray''': CBS. |
:'''Ray''': CBS. |
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:'''Ray''': Television. |
:'''Ray''': Television. |
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:'''Homer''': Turn the television to what channel? |
:'''Homer''': Turn the television to what channel? |
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− | :'''Ray''': CBS |
+ | :'''Ray''': CBS. |
:'''Homer''': At what time? |
:'''Homer''': At what time? |
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− | :'''Ray''': 9 |
+ | :'''Ray''': 9 o' clock on Monday. |
− | :'''Homer''': Now |
+ | :'''Homer''': Now, if I wanted to see it on a certain day, what would be the best day to see it? |
:'''Ray''': It's only on a Monday. |
:'''Ray''': It's only on a Monday. |
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− | :'''Homer''': And what time would be a good time.. |
+ | :'''Homer''': And what time would be a good time... |
− | :'''Ray''': |
+ | :'''Ray''': (Homer: ...to watch it?) 9 o' clock, from 9 to 9:30. |
− | :'''Homer''': So If I turn my radio on at 9 |
+ | :'''Homer''': So If I turn my radio on at 9 o' clock... |
:'''Ray''': Not the radio, television. |
:'''Ray''': Not the radio, television. |
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− | :'''Homer''': So it's Mondays at 9 on NBC |
+ | :'''Homer''': So it's Mondays at 9 on NBC. |
:'''Ray''': CBS. |
:'''Ray''': CBS. |
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:'''Homer''': CBS. |
:'''Homer''': CBS. |
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− | :'''Ray''': 9 |
+ | :'''Ray''': 9 o' clock. |
− | :'''Homer''': On the radio |
+ | :'''Homer''': On the radio. |
:'''Ray''': Television. |
:'''Ray''': Television. |
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− | :'''Homer''': Television at 3 |
+ | :'''Homer''': Television at 3 o' clock. |
− | :'''Hawking''': And we're done. |
+ | :'''Hawking''': (Gracie Films logo plays, and right after the shush, Stephen Hawking says the following) And we're done. |
+ | ---- |
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+ | :''(Homer and his family discovers that Ray is real)'' |
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+ | :'''Homer''': So Ray does exist? |
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+ | :'''Ray''': That's right! now let's explore the improbable series of events which led to this amusing yet tragic farce. |
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+ | :'''Knockers Bar Man''': On the count of my eyepad, I couldn't see Ray sitting at the bar. All I saw was you, eating and drinking and talking to yourself. |
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+ | :'''Ray''': And Ned, you didn't see me because I was hiding behind the chimney. |
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+ | :'''Ned''': Oh, Jez, I thought my vision was perfect and here I was, worshiping false eyeballs. |
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+ | :'''Bart''': Wait, wait wait wait. How come at builders' barn I saw Homer talking to thin air? |
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+ | :'''Ray''': Well, that... hmm... |
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+ | :'''[[Stephen Hawking]]''': I can answer that! ''(Enters the room)'' I've been tracking a tear on the texture of space-time which combined with airborne pieces of metal at Builders' Barn to create a miniature black hole. this abnormal lead interposed itself between Homer and Bart causing a gravitational lens which absorbed the light reflected from Ray the roofer. ''(Everybody look at Lisa)'' |
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+ | :'''Lisa''': That seems... Feasible. ''(Everybody celebrates)'' |
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+ | :'''Marge''': Wait! There's still one last thing that doesn't makes sense! ''(To Ray)'' Why did you started fixing our roof and just disappear? |
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+ | :'''Ray''': That's easy! I'm a contractor. ''(Everyone laughs)'' |
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+ | ---- |
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+ | :''(Doctor Hibbert shows pictures to test Homer's reality, starts off with a picture of Marge)'' |
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+ | :''(Doctor Hibbert flips picture of Marge down to show a picture of Itchy and Scratchy)'' |
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+ | :'''Homer''': Not real. |
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+ | :''(Doctor Hibbert flips picture of Itchy and Scratchy down to show a picture of Bart)'' |
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+ | :'''Homer''': Real. |
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+ | :''(Doctor Hibbert flips picture of Bart down to show a picture of Robin Hood)'' |
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+ | :'''Homer''': Real. |
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+ | :'''Dr. Hibbert''': Oh, sorry Homer. Recent historical evidence indicates that Robin Hood did not actually exist. |
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+ | :''(Doctor Hibbert uses electroshock on Homer again)'' |
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+ | :'''Homer''': ''(electrocuted)'' Fascinating! |
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+ | |||
+ | {{Season|16|Quo}} |
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+ | [[es:Don't Fear the Roofer/Frases]] |
Revision as of 03:57, 17 April 2020
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Don't Fear the Roofer |
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- Homer: How did it come to this? I'm the first man ever to feel depressed in a bar. I don't have a friend in the world.
- (A shatter voice speaks)
- Voice: (smiling) Look at the size of that nacho plate! (It's Ray Magini, in orange shirt and black trousers and black boots)
- Ray: I haven't seen this much melted cheese since I left my Billy Joel albums out in the sun.
- Homer: (surprised) HUH?! (starts laughing) Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! The sun.
- Ray: Hey, you want to split this?
- Homer: Wow. It's been so long since I've been with someone who doesn't know what a selfish pig I am. (They start to eat) Mine! Move your head! I can't take it!
- Ray: Hey. My name is Ray (Ray Magini). (shakes Homer's hand)
- Homer: Ray, you know mean better than everyone. How could I get my wife to love me again?
- Ray: It's me, I'm a MARGE-calculator. Just likes it and Bottom-roofer.
- (Homer thoughts it's Simpsons' house (plus) Ray Magini (equal) Marge is so happy)
- Homer: Ray, would you help me fix my roof?
- Ray: Sure, I'll help it! I had a one citation. (He holds the jug full of beer) You could help me finish the picture of beer?
- Marge: I'm going to take the dog to the V-E-T.
- Santa's Little Helper: Huh?
- Marge: Then I'm going to take Bart to get C-I-R-C-U-M-C-I-S-E-D.
- Bart: Huh?
- Marge: Uh...I'll tell you what it means when it's over.
- (Homer annoys Dr. Hibbert by eating his mouth guard before being given shock therapy)
- Homer: Sorry. Give me one that doesn't taste so delicious.
- Dr. Hibbert: That was rubber covered in Vaseline.
- Homer: Marge, write that down so we can have it at home.
- (Homer walks down the street in sorrow)
- Homer: Stupid Homer-hating family. At least there's only one place I'm always welcome.
- Barflies: (singing) For he's a jolly good fellow...
- Homer: Aw, guys. This is just what I needed.
- Moe: This ain't for you, sweat stain. It's a surprise party for Lenny thrown by his closest friends.
- Homer: So what's Stephen Hawking doing here?
- Hawking: I live here now. You're looking at the new owner of the Little Caesar's down the street. (He says "Pizza-pizza" until he fixes the button) Sorry, that button sticks.
- Homer: So why didn't you invite me?
- Carl: We couldn't tell you ahead of time because you'd spill the beans.
- Homer: I wouldn't ruin a surprise for Lenny. (Lenny overhears and opens the door)
- Lenny: Surprise? What surprise? (Everybody blow their horns and get disappointed)
- Barney: Way to go, Homer!
- Moe: Ugh, six years' planning down the drain! (he throws down his party hat)
- Homer: I'm sorry. I'll just sit over here until you stop being mad at me. (He sits on a stool which turned out to be a cake and ruins it)
- Carl: Oh, great, Homer! I bake a cake shaped like Lenny's favorite barstool, and you wreck it!
- (Homer is still feeling depressed, Lenny, Carl, Hawking and others glaring at him)
- Homer: (sadly) Well, I can see I'm not wanted here. (He stands up and walks towards the door)
- Moe: Wait, Homer! Don't go. (He cleans Homer's bottom with his knife over splatted cake) Okay, beat it! (shoves Homer out the door) Who wants ass frosting?
- Hawking: No thanks. I'm on Atkins.
- Dr. Hibbert: (worried) Homer, can I please get knocked off?! I got surgery in the morning!
- Homer: (still angrily) Not until those gutters are clean, you don't! (Dr. Hibbert grumbles)
- Ray: So, as I was saying, Homer, Mondays, 9 o' clock, CBS. They say everybody loves that guy, but I don't get it.
- Homer: (puzzled) What are you talking about?
- Ray: Eh, I'm just saying, catch it while you still can.
- (Both Ray and Homer laugh as the camera slowly zooms out the shot of them sitting on the roof. They start talking again as the end credits start)
- Homer: What time's this show on?
- Ray: At Monday, 9 o' clock, CBS.
- Homer: And, what's the network?
- Ray: CBS.
- Homer: At what time?
- Ray: 9 o' clock.
- Homer: And if I wanna watch it, what day?
- Ray: Monday. Monday, 9 o' clock.
- Homer: And, this is on the radio?
- Ray: No, it's television. Mondays at 9 on CBS.
- Homer: And if I wanna see it, what time should I watch it?
- Ray: 9 o' clock.
- Homer: On what channel?
- Ray: CBS.
- Homer: What day?
- Ray: Monday.
- Homer: On the radio?
- Ray: Television.
- Homer: Turn the television to what channel?
- Ray: CBS.
- Homer: At what time?
- Ray: 9 o' clock on Monday.
- Homer: Now, if I wanted to see it on a certain day, what would be the best day to see it?
- Ray: It's only on a Monday.
- Homer: And what time would be a good time...
- Ray: (Homer: ...to watch it?) 9 o' clock, from 9 to 9:30.
- Homer: So If I turn my radio on at 9 o' clock...
- Ray: Not the radio, television.
- Homer: So it's Mondays at 9 on NBC.
- Ray: CBS.
- Homer: CBS.
- Ray: 9 o' clock.
- Homer: On the radio.
- Ray: Television.
- Homer: Television at 3 o' clock.
- Hawking: (Gracie Films logo plays, and right after the shush, Stephen Hawking says the following) And we're done.
- (Homer and his family discovers that Ray is real)
- Homer: So Ray does exist?
- Ray: That's right! now let's explore the improbable series of events which led to this amusing yet tragic farce.
- Knockers Bar Man: On the count of my eyepad, I couldn't see Ray sitting at the bar. All I saw was you, eating and drinking and talking to yourself.
- Ray: And Ned, you didn't see me because I was hiding behind the chimney.
- Ned: Oh, Jez, I thought my vision was perfect and here I was, worshiping false eyeballs.
- Bart: Wait, wait wait wait. How come at builders' barn I saw Homer talking to thin air?
- Ray: Well, that... hmm...
- Stephen Hawking: I can answer that! (Enters the room) I've been tracking a tear on the texture of space-time which combined with airborne pieces of metal at Builders' Barn to create a miniature black hole. this abnormal lead interposed itself between Homer and Bart causing a gravitational lens which absorbed the light reflected from Ray the roofer. (Everybody look at Lisa)
- Lisa: That seems... Feasible. (Everybody celebrates)
- Marge: Wait! There's still one last thing that doesn't makes sense! (To Ray) Why did you started fixing our roof and just disappear?
- Ray: That's easy! I'm a contractor. (Everyone laughs)
- (Doctor Hibbert shows pictures to test Homer's reality, starts off with a picture of Marge)
- Homer: Real.
- (Doctor Hibbert flips picture of Marge down to show a picture of Itchy and Scratchy)
- Homer: Not real.
- (Doctor Hibbert flips picture of Itchy and Scratchy down to show a picture of Bart)
- Homer: Real.
- (Doctor Hibbert flips picture of Bart down to show a picture of Robin Hood)
- Homer: Real.
- Dr. Hibbert: Oh, sorry Homer. Recent historical evidence indicates that Robin Hood did not actually exist.
- (Doctor Hibbert uses electroshock on Homer again)
- Homer: (electrocuted) Fascinating!