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{{Tab|Quo |
{{Tab|Quo |
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| − | |episode=Don't Fear the Roofer |
+ | |episode=Don't Fear the Roofer}} |
| − | }} |
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| − | |||
{{PrevNext|Quo |Future-Drama|The Heartbroke Kid}} |
{{PrevNext|Quo |Future-Drama|The Heartbroke Kid}} |
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:'''Voice''': (smiling) Look at the size of that nacho plate! (It's [[Ray Magini]], in orange shirt and black trousers and black boots) |
:'''Voice''': (smiling) Look at the size of that nacho plate! (It's [[Ray Magini]], in orange shirt and black trousers and black boots) |
||
:'''Ray''': I haven't seen this much melted cheese since I left my [[wikipedia:Billy Joel discography |Billy Joel albums]] out in the sun. |
:'''Ray''': I haven't seen this much melted cheese since I left my [[wikipedia:Billy Joel discography |Billy Joel albums]] out in the sun. |
||
| − | :'''Homer''': (surprised) |
+ | :'''Homer''': (surprised) HUH?!'' ''(starts laughing) Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! The sun. |
:'''Ray''': Hey, you want to split this? |
:'''Ray''': Hey, you want to split this? |
||
| − | :'''Homer''': Wow. It's been so long since I've been with someone who doesn't know what a selfish pig I am. (They |
+ | :'''Homer''': Wow. It's been so long since I've been with someone who doesn't know what a selfish pig I am. (They start to eat) Mine! Move your head! I can't take it! |
:'''Ray''': Hey. My name is Ray '''(Ray Magini)'''. (shakes Homer's hand) |
:'''Ray''': Hey. My name is Ray '''(Ray Magini)'''. (shakes Homer's hand) |
||
| − | :'''Homer''': Ray, you know mean better than everyone. How could get my wife to love |
+ | :'''Homer''': Ray, you know mean better than everyone. How could I get my wife to love me again? |
:'''Ray''': It's me, I'm a MARGE-calculator. Just likes it and Bottom-roofer. |
:'''Ray''': It's me, I'm a MARGE-calculator. Just likes it and Bottom-roofer. |
||
:(Homer thoughts it's Simpsons' house (plus) Ray Magini (equal) Marge is so happy) |
:(Homer thoughts it's Simpsons' house (plus) Ray Magini (equal) Marge is so happy) |
||
| − | :'''Homer''': Ray |
+ | :'''Homer''': Ray, would you help me fix my roof? |
| − | :'''Ray''': Sure, I'll help it! I had a one citation (He holds the jug full of beer) You could help finish the picture of beer? |
+ | :'''Ray''': Sure, I'll help it! I had a one citation. (He holds the jug full of beer) You could help me finish the picture of beer? |
---- |
---- |
||
:'''[[Marge]]''': I'm going to take the dog to the V-E-T. |
:'''[[Marge]]''': I'm going to take the dog to the V-E-T. |
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| Line 30: | Line 28: | ||
:'''Homer''': Marge, write that down so we can have it at home. |
:'''Homer''': Marge, write that down so we can have it at home. |
||
---- |
---- |
||
| − | :(Homer |
+ | :(Homer walks down the street in sorrow) |
:'''Homer''': Stupid Homer-hating family. At least there's only one place I'm always welcome. |
:'''Homer''': Stupid Homer-hating family. At least there's only one place I'm always welcome. |
||
:'''Barflies''': (''singing'') For he's a jolly good fellow... |
:'''Barflies''': (''singing'') For he's a jolly good fellow... |
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| Line 36: | Line 34: | ||
:'''[[Moe Szyslak|Moe]]''': This ain't for you, sweat stain. It's a surprise party for Lenny thrown by his closest friends. |
:'''[[Moe Szyslak|Moe]]''': This ain't for you, sweat stain. It's a surprise party for Lenny thrown by his closest friends. |
||
:'''Homer''': So what's Stephen Hawking doing here? |
:'''Homer''': So what's Stephen Hawking doing here? |
||
| − | :'''Hawking''': I live here now. You're looking at the new owner of the Little Caesar's down the street. ( |
+ | :'''Hawking''': I live here now. You're looking at the new owner of the Little Caesar's down the street. (He says "Pizza-pizza" until he fixes the button) Sorry, that button sticks. |
:'''Homer''': So why didn't you invite me? |
:'''Homer''': So why didn't you invite me? |
||
:'''Carl''': We couldn't tell you ahead of time because you'd spill the beans. |
:'''Carl''': We couldn't tell you ahead of time because you'd spill the beans. |
||
| − | :'''Homer''': |
+ | :'''Homer''': I wouldn't ruin a surprise for Lenny. (Lenny overhears and opens the door) |
:'''[[Lenny Leonard|Lenny]]''': Surprise? What surprise? (Everybody blow their horns and get disappointed) |
:'''[[Lenny Leonard|Lenny]]''': Surprise? What surprise? (Everybody blow their horns and get disappointed) |
||
| − | :'''[[Barney Gumble|Barney]]''': |
+ | :'''[[Barney Gumble|Barney]]''': Way to go, Homer! |
| − | :'''Moe''': |
+ | :'''Moe''': Ugh, six years' planning down the drain! (he throws down his party hat) |
| − | :'''Homer''': |
+ | :'''Homer''': I'm sorry. I'll just sit over here until you stop being mad at me. (He sits on a stool which turned out to be a cake and ruins it) |
| − | :'''Carl''': |
+ | :'''Carl''': Oh, great, Homer! I bake a cake shaped like Lenny's favorite barstool, and you wreck it! |
:(Homer is still feeling depressed, Lenny, Carl, Hawking and others glaring at him) |
:(Homer is still feeling depressed, Lenny, Carl, Hawking and others glaring at him) |
||
| − | :'''Homer''': (sadly) Well, I can see I'm not wanted here. (He stands up and walks) |
+ | :'''Homer''': (sadly) Well, I can see I'm not wanted here. (He stands up and walks towards the door) |
| − | :'''Moe''': Wait, Homer! Don't go. (He cleans Homer's bottom with his knife over splatted cake) Okay, beat it! Who wants ass frosting? |
+ | :'''Moe''': Wait, Homer! Don't go. (He cleans Homer's bottom with his knife over splatted cake) Okay, beat it! (shoves Homer out the door) Who wants ass frosting? |
:'''Hawking''': No thanks. I'm on Atkins. |
:'''Hawking''': No thanks. I'm on Atkins. |
||
---- |
---- |
||
| − | :'''Dr. Hibbert''': (worried) Homer, can I please |
+ | :'''Dr. Hibbert''': (worried) Homer, can I please get knocked off?! I got surgery in the morning! |
| − | :'''Homer''': (still angrily) |
+ | :'''Homer''': (still angrily) Not until those gutters are clean, you don't! (Dr. Hibbert grumbles) |
| − | :'''Ray''': So as I was saying Homer, Mondays 9 |
+ | :'''Ray''': So, as I was saying, Homer, Mondays, 9 o' clock, CBS. They say everybody loves that guy, but I don't get it. |
| − | :'''Homer''': (puzzled) What are you talking about? |
+ | :'''Homer''': (puzzled) What are you talking about? |
| − | :'''Ray''': I'm just saying, catch it while you still can. |
+ | :'''Ray''': Eh, I'm just saying, catch it while you still can. |
| + | :(Both Ray and Homer laugh as the camera slowly zooms out the shot of them sitting on the roof. They start talking again as the end credits start) |
||
:'''Homer''': What time's this show on? |
:'''Homer''': What time's this show on? |
||
| − | :'''Ray''': Monday 9 |
+ | :'''Ray''': At Monday, 9 o' clock, CBS. |
| − | :'''Homer''': And what's the network? |
+ | :'''Homer''': And, what's the network? |
| − | :'''Ray''': CBS |
+ | :'''Ray''': CBS. |
:'''Homer''': At what time? |
:'''Homer''': At what time? |
||
| − | :'''Ray''': 9 |
+ | :'''Ray''': 9 o' clock. |
| − | :'''Homer''': And if I wanna watch it what day? |
+ | :'''Homer''': And if I wanna watch it, what day? |
| − | :'''Ray''': Monday. Monday 9 |
+ | :'''Ray''': Monday. Monday, 9 o' clock. |
| − | :'''Homer''': And this is on the radio? |
+ | :'''Homer''': And, this is on the radio? |
| − | :'''Ray''': No it's television Mondays at 9 on CBS |
+ | :'''Ray''': No, it's television. Mondays at 9 on CBS. |
| − | :'''Homer''': And if I wanna see it what time should I watch it? |
+ | :'''Homer''': And if I wanna see it, what time should I watch it? |
| − | :'''Ray''': 9 |
+ | :'''Ray''': 9 o' clock. |
:'''Homer''': On what channel? |
:'''Homer''': On what channel? |
||
:'''Ray''': CBS. |
:'''Ray''': CBS. |
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| Line 74: | Line 73: | ||
:'''Ray''': Television. |
:'''Ray''': Television. |
||
:'''Homer''': Turn the television to what channel? |
:'''Homer''': Turn the television to what channel? |
||
| − | :'''Ray''': CBS |
+ | :'''Ray''': CBS. |
:'''Homer''': At what time? |
:'''Homer''': At what time? |
||
| − | :'''Ray''': 9 |
+ | :'''Ray''': 9 o' clock on Monday. |
| − | :'''Homer''': Now |
+ | :'''Homer''': Now, if I wanted to see it on a certain day, what would be the best day to see it? |
:'''Ray''': It's only on a Monday. |
:'''Ray''': It's only on a Monday. |
||
| − | :'''Homer''': And what time would be a good time.. |
+ | :'''Homer''': And what time would be a good time... |
| − | :'''Ray''': |
+ | :'''Ray''': (Homer: ...to watch it?) 9 o' clock, from 9 to 9:30. |
| − | :'''Homer''': So If I turn my radio on at 9 |
+ | :'''Homer''': So If I turn my radio on at 9 o' clock... |
:'''Ray''': Not the radio, television. |
:'''Ray''': Not the radio, television. |
||
| − | :'''Homer''': So it's Mondays at 9 on NBC |
+ | :'''Homer''': So it's Mondays at 9 on NBC. |
:'''Ray''': CBS. |
:'''Ray''': CBS. |
||
:'''Homer''': CBS. |
:'''Homer''': CBS. |
||
| − | :'''Ray''': 9 |
+ | :'''Ray''': 9 o' clock. |
| − | :'''Homer''': On the radio |
+ | :'''Homer''': On the radio. |
:'''Ray''': Television. |
:'''Ray''': Television. |
||
| − | :'''Homer''': Television at 3 |
+ | :'''Homer''': Television at 3 o' clock. |
| − | :'''Hawking''': And we're done. |
+ | :'''Hawking''': (Gracie Films logo plays, and right after the shush, Stephen Hawking says the following) And we're done. |
---- |
---- |
||
:''(Homer and his family discovers that Ray is real)'' |
:''(Homer and his family discovers that Ray is real)'' |
||
:'''Homer''': So Ray does exist? |
:'''Homer''': So Ray does exist? |
||
:'''Ray''': That's right! now let's explore the improbable series of events which led to this amusing yet tragic farce. |
:'''Ray''': That's right! now let's explore the improbable series of events which led to this amusing yet tragic farce. |
||
| − | :'''Knockers |
+ | :'''Knockers Bar Man''': On the count of my eyepad, I couldn't see Ray sitting at the bar. All I saw was you, eating and drinking and talking to yourself. |
:'''Ray''': And Ned, you didn't see me because I was hiding behind the chimney. |
:'''Ray''': And Ned, you didn't see me because I was hiding behind the chimney. |
||
:'''Ned''': Oh, Jez, I thought my vision was perfect and here I was, worshiping false eyeballs. |
:'''Ned''': Oh, Jez, I thought my vision was perfect and here I was, worshiping false eyeballs. |
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| Line 103: | Line 102: | ||
:'''Lisa''': That seems... Feasible. ''(Everybody celebrates)'' |
:'''Lisa''': That seems... Feasible. ''(Everybody celebrates)'' |
||
:'''Marge''': Wait! There's still one last thing that doesn't makes sense! ''(To Ray)'' Why did you started fixing our roof and just disappear? |
:'''Marge''': Wait! There's still one last thing that doesn't makes sense! ''(To Ray)'' Why did you started fixing our roof and just disappear? |
||
| − | :'''Ray''': That's easy! I'm a contractor ''(Everyone laughs)'' |
+ | :'''Ray''': That's easy! I'm a contractor. ''(Everyone laughs)'' |
| + | ---- |
||
| + | :''(Doctor Hibbert shows pictures to test Homer's reality, starts off with a picture of Marge)'' |
||
| + | :'''Homer''': Real. |
||
| + | :''(Doctor Hibbert flips picture of Marge down to show a picture of Itchy and Scratchy)'' |
||
| + | :'''Homer''': Not real. |
||
| + | :''(Doctor Hibbert flips picture of Itchy and Scratchy down to show a picture of Bart)'' |
||
| + | :'''Homer''': Real. |
||
| + | :''(Doctor Hibbert flips picture of Bart down to show a picture of Robin Hood)'' |
||
| + | :'''Homer''': Real. |
||
| + | :'''Dr. Hibbert''': Oh, sorry Homer. Recent historical evidence indicates that Robin Hood did not actually exist. |
||
| + | :''(Doctor Hibbert uses electroshock on Homer again)'' |
||
| + | :'''Homer''': ''(electrocuted)'' Fascinating! |
||
{{Season|16|Quo}} |
{{Season|16|Quo}} |
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| + | [[es:Don't Fear the Roofer/Frases]] |
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Revision as of 03:57, 17 April 2020
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Don't Fear the Roofer |
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- Homer: How did it come to this? I'm the first man ever to feel depressed in a bar. I don't have a friend in the world.
- (A shatter voice speaks)
- Voice: (smiling) Look at the size of that nacho plate! (It's Ray Magini, in orange shirt and black trousers and black boots)
- Ray: I haven't seen this much melted cheese since I left my Billy Joel albums out in the sun.
- Homer: (surprised) HUH?! (starts laughing) Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! The sun.
- Ray: Hey, you want to split this?
- Homer: Wow. It's been so long since I've been with someone who doesn't know what a selfish pig I am. (They start to eat) Mine! Move your head! I can't take it!
- Ray: Hey. My name is Ray (Ray Magini). (shakes Homer's hand)
- Homer: Ray, you know mean better than everyone. How could I get my wife to love me again?
- Ray: It's me, I'm a MARGE-calculator. Just likes it and Bottom-roofer.
- (Homer thoughts it's Simpsons' house (plus) Ray Magini (equal) Marge is so happy)
- Homer: Ray, would you help me fix my roof?
- Ray: Sure, I'll help it! I had a one citation. (He holds the jug full of beer) You could help me finish the picture of beer?
- Marge: I'm going to take the dog to the V-E-T.
- Santa's Little Helper: Huh?
- Marge: Then I'm going to take Bart to get C-I-R-C-U-M-C-I-S-E-D.
- Bart: Huh?
- Marge: Uh...I'll tell you what it means when it's over.
- (Homer annoys Dr. Hibbert by eating his mouth guard before being given shock therapy)
- Homer: Sorry. Give me one that doesn't taste so delicious.
- Dr. Hibbert: That was rubber covered in Vaseline.
- Homer: Marge, write that down so we can have it at home.
- (Homer walks down the street in sorrow)
- Homer: Stupid Homer-hating family. At least there's only one place I'm always welcome.
- Barflies: (singing) For he's a jolly good fellow...
- Homer: Aw, guys. This is just what I needed.
- Moe: This ain't for you, sweat stain. It's a surprise party for Lenny thrown by his closest friends.
- Homer: So what's Stephen Hawking doing here?
- Hawking: I live here now. You're looking at the new owner of the Little Caesar's down the street. (He says "Pizza-pizza" until he fixes the button) Sorry, that button sticks.
- Homer: So why didn't you invite me?
- Carl: We couldn't tell you ahead of time because you'd spill the beans.
- Homer: I wouldn't ruin a surprise for Lenny. (Lenny overhears and opens the door)
- Lenny: Surprise? What surprise? (Everybody blow their horns and get disappointed)
- Barney: Way to go, Homer!
- Moe: Ugh, six years' planning down the drain! (he throws down his party hat)
- Homer: I'm sorry. I'll just sit over here until you stop being mad at me. (He sits on a stool which turned out to be a cake and ruins it)
- Carl: Oh, great, Homer! I bake a cake shaped like Lenny's favorite barstool, and you wreck it!
- (Homer is still feeling depressed, Lenny, Carl, Hawking and others glaring at him)
- Homer: (sadly) Well, I can see I'm not wanted here. (He stands up and walks towards the door)
- Moe: Wait, Homer! Don't go. (He cleans Homer's bottom with his knife over splatted cake) Okay, beat it! (shoves Homer out the door) Who wants ass frosting?
- Hawking: No thanks. I'm on Atkins.
- Dr. Hibbert: (worried) Homer, can I please get knocked off?! I got surgery in the morning!
- Homer: (still angrily) Not until those gutters are clean, you don't! (Dr. Hibbert grumbles)
- Ray: So, as I was saying, Homer, Mondays, 9 o' clock, CBS. They say everybody loves that guy, but I don't get it.
- Homer: (puzzled) What are you talking about?
- Ray: Eh, I'm just saying, catch it while you still can.
- (Both Ray and Homer laugh as the camera slowly zooms out the shot of them sitting on the roof. They start talking again as the end credits start)
- Homer: What time's this show on?
- Ray: At Monday, 9 o' clock, CBS.
- Homer: And, what's the network?
- Ray: CBS.
- Homer: At what time?
- Ray: 9 o' clock.
- Homer: And if I wanna watch it, what day?
- Ray: Monday. Monday, 9 o' clock.
- Homer: And, this is on the radio?
- Ray: No, it's television. Mondays at 9 on CBS.
- Homer: And if I wanna see it, what time should I watch it?
- Ray: 9 o' clock.
- Homer: On what channel?
- Ray: CBS.
- Homer: What day?
- Ray: Monday.
- Homer: On the radio?
- Ray: Television.
- Homer: Turn the television to what channel?
- Ray: CBS.
- Homer: At what time?
- Ray: 9 o' clock on Monday.
- Homer: Now, if I wanted to see it on a certain day, what would be the best day to see it?
- Ray: It's only on a Monday.
- Homer: And what time would be a good time...
- Ray: (Homer: ...to watch it?) 9 o' clock, from 9 to 9:30.
- Homer: So If I turn my radio on at 9 o' clock...
- Ray: Not the radio, television.
- Homer: So it's Mondays at 9 on NBC.
- Ray: CBS.
- Homer: CBS.
- Ray: 9 o' clock.
- Homer: On the radio.
- Ray: Television.
- Homer: Television at 3 o' clock.
- Hawking: (Gracie Films logo plays, and right after the shush, Stephen Hawking says the following) And we're done.
- (Homer and his family discovers that Ray is real)
- Homer: So Ray does exist?
- Ray: That's right! now let's explore the improbable series of events which led to this amusing yet tragic farce.
- Knockers Bar Man: On the count of my eyepad, I couldn't see Ray sitting at the bar. All I saw was you, eating and drinking and talking to yourself.
- Ray: And Ned, you didn't see me because I was hiding behind the chimney.
- Ned: Oh, Jez, I thought my vision was perfect and here I was, worshiping false eyeballs.
- Bart: Wait, wait wait wait. How come at builders' barn I saw Homer talking to thin air?
- Ray: Well, that... hmm...
- Stephen Hawking: I can answer that! (Enters the room) I've been tracking a tear on the texture of space-time which combined with airborne pieces of metal at Builders' Barn to create a miniature black hole. this abnormal lead interposed itself between Homer and Bart causing a gravitational lens which absorbed the light reflected from Ray the roofer. (Everybody look at Lisa)
- Lisa: That seems... Feasible. (Everybody celebrates)
- Marge: Wait! There's still one last thing that doesn't makes sense! (To Ray) Why did you started fixing our roof and just disappear?
- Ray: That's easy! I'm a contractor. (Everyone laughs)
- (Doctor Hibbert shows pictures to test Homer's reality, starts off with a picture of Marge)
- Homer: Real.
- (Doctor Hibbert flips picture of Marge down to show a picture of Itchy and Scratchy)
- Homer: Not real.
- (Doctor Hibbert flips picture of Itchy and Scratchy down to show a picture of Bart)
- Homer: Real.
- (Doctor Hibbert flips picture of Bart down to show a picture of Robin Hood)
- Homer: Real.
- Dr. Hibbert: Oh, sorry Homer. Recent historical evidence indicates that Robin Hood did not actually exist.
- (Doctor Hibbert uses electroshock on Homer again)
- Homer: (electrocuted) Fascinating!