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Three Gays of the Condo
Dude, Where's My Ranch?
Old Yeller-Belly

"Sister? You mean she's not your girlfriend?"
Lisa Simpson
"Hell, no. They outlawed that in this state two years ago."
Luke Stetson

"Dude, Where's My Ranch?" is the eighteenth episode of Season 14.


Homer plans to write a Christmas carol and pens a tune called "Everybody Hates Ned Flanders", which brings him overwhelming success. When the popularity becomes unbearable, the family vacates to a dude ranch.

Full Story[]

When the family does Christmas carols, they sing songs to Krusty, his dad, and Snake (who has a distressed kidnapped family tied to chairs and gagged with duct tape), until they reach the Blue-haired Lawyer's house. He wrongly tells the family that they can't sing Christmas carols, unless they pay a royalty. In response, Homer makes the lyrics for his own Christmas carol. Later, Ned Flanders comes in and tries to help Homer, until Homer kicks him out. Homer finds new inspiration in an anti-Flanders song, Everybody Hates Ned Flanders. He plays the song at Moe's Tavern, and when David Byrne comes in, he likes the song so much, that he wants to produce and record the song. "Everybody Hates Ned Flanders" becomes so popular (even Flanders himself likes it, despite the obviousness of the potshot) that even William Shatner does a cover of it. This leads to mass publicity, which annoys the Simpsons, who want to avoid it. They find a brochure for a dude ranch, the Lazy I Ranch, and go there.


Lisa meets Luke

The family arrives at the Lazy I Ranch, owned by the Rich Texan, who tells Lisa that the ranch was built on cruelty to animals and oppression of indigenous people, which annoys her. It makes her want to leave, until she meets a cowhand, named Luke Stetson, who shares her views on the ranch. The Family meet a man called Cookie who shows them round and sets out some dinner. Homer and Bart also have their own adventure when they meet a tribe of Native Americans who want a dam removed so they can reclaim their land. They are confronted by beavers, but manage to battle them back, destroy the dam, and give the land back to the Native Americans. Meanwhile, Lisa thinks that Luke is off-limits, because she overhears him on the phone, promising a first dance to a girl, named Clara. When Lisa encounters her, she tricks her into going the wrong way. At the dance, Lisa finds out that Clara is Luke's sister. It is up to Lisa, Bart, and some surprising heroes to save Clara. It was a success, although Lisa was disappointed on Bart for destroying the beaver dam. However, when Lisa comes clean, Luke is offended and they separate. As the Simpsons return to Springfield, they hear a self-deprecating cover version of the Andrea True Connection song "More, More, More", (entitled "Moe, Moe, Moe"), on the radio, sung by Moe and produced by David Byrne (who Moe kidnaps earlier in the episode), and turn around to spend another week at the ranch.

Broadcast History[]

United States[]

Broadcast date(s) Channel aired
  • April 27, 2003
  • July 27, 2003
Fox Logo
  • December 20, 2020
Freeform Logo
  • December 22, 2020
Fxx Logo


Season 13 Season 14 Episodes Season 15
Treehouse of Horror XIIIHow I Spent My Strummer VacationBart vs. Lisa vs. the Third GradeLarge MargeHelter ShelterThe Great Louse DetectiveSpecial EdnaThe Dad Who Knew Too LittleThe Strong Arms of the MaPray AnythingBarting OverI'm Spelling as Fast as I CanA Star is Born-AgainMr. Spritz Goes to WashingtonC.E. D'oh'Scuse Me While I Miss the SkyThree Gays of the CondoDude, Where's My Ranch?Old Yeller-BellyBrake My Wife, PleaseThe Bart of WarMoe Baby Blues