Duff Gardens is an amusement park based on Duff Beer.
The Little Land of Duff
Bart and Lisa ride "The Little Land of Duff" attraction, where they hear this song, repeated over and over:
- Duff Beer for me!
- Duff Beer for you!
- I'll have a Duff,
- You have one too!
The boats float on a brown liquid, most likely stagnant recycled beer, with hallucinogenic properties, which Lisa drinks after being dared to do so by Bart (as well as Aunt Selma's prompting, mostly to prevent them from arguing). Lisa then starts to experience hallucinations and shivers all over. When the security guards return Lisa to Aunt Selma, Lisa proclaims, in a variation of the famous line by the Doors' Jim Morrison, "I am the lizard queen!"
Duff Beer Hall of Presidents
The ride's exterior resembled the Congress building, while the interior was an animatronic theater with five animatronics resembling Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, Franklin Delano Roosevelt (presumably during his late presidency due to his being confined to a wheelchair), and Richard Nixon, with the presidents (exempting Jefferson) each having some Duff apparel with them (Lincoln having a Duff Beer can/beer mug, George Washington standing near a beer keg, FDR wearing a beer hat, and Nixon holding a Duff Beer Bottle in each hand in a pose reminiscent to his election victory pose).
The ride starts with a glare of light as Lincoln stands up, and gives the following speech:
- "Four score and seven years ago, our forefathers brewed a refreshing drink from hops and barley."
After sipping a Duff Beer can, however, the Lincoln animatronic proceeds to uncharacteristically (and anachronistically) enter a hip hop persona and crush the can he drank from between his head and hand with the following statement:
- "We-e-ll, I'm Rappin' A.B. and I'm here to say, if you want to drink beer, well Duff's the only way! I said the only way! Break down!"
Lisa was not impressed by the show, calling it a disgrace, while Selma tried to "reassure" Lisa that only an educational program could possibly be this bad. The ride ended up ruined after Bart, trying to investigate whether the Founding Fathers wore underwear back then, removed the George Washington animatronic's pants and revealed his robotic nature underneath, causing Washington to turn and glare at Bart ominously before somehow ending up decapitated and stuttering afterward.
Other Duff Gardens attractions include:
- the Beeramid
- the Beerquarium ("Home of the world's happiest fish")
- the Beer Hall of Presidents
- Little Land of Duff
- the Barrel Roll
- the Washing Machine ride
- the Whiplash rollercoaster
- Fermentarium (Mentioned)
- Singing group Hooray for Everything (who sing a politically correct version of Lou Reed's "Walk on the Wild Side" and are based on Up with People), and a direct parody of Disneyland's Main Street Electrical Parade.
In the gift shop, Bart spots "Beer Goggles", a sort of glasses that mimicks what drunks see. Aunt Selma appears young, feminine, and beautiful to Bart and also somehow, alters her voice. Later, they see the mascots of Duff Beer, The Seven Duffs: Sleazy, Queazy, Edgy, Surly, Tipsy, Remorseful, and Dizzy.
Behind the Laughter
According to the DVD commentary, the "Little Land of Duff" song originally had two verses, but was cut to one to make it more annoying (and thus funnier).