Treehouse of Horror X
Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder
Homer: What would Zorro do? (imagines Zorro getting shot by the Colonel) "ZORROOOOOOOOOOO....!"

Cow: (deep voice) "Tomacco"

Homer: Dueling at dawn. How did it ever come to this?
Lisa: [hangs up phone] The National Weather Service says dawn is still scheduled for 6:20 tomorrow and to please stop calling.

Homer: (to Marge about the colonel) He's out there, isn't he?
Marge: I'm afraid so, and his wife's with him.
Homer: (looks at the colonel's attractive-looking wife) Growl!
Marge: Homer!
Homer: Hey, I'm not dead yet. (a knock is heard at the door) Oh! Oh! Save me, Marge! I saved you!
Marge: Why don't you have the colonel's wife save you?
Homer: Oh, Marge, that's in the past. Just let it go.

Homer: (to Flanders on a pay phone) Well, goodbye, my gentle neighbor. You know, I've always wanted to tell you how much..
Phone Operator: To continue talking, please deposit 10 cents.
Homer: Eh, screw it. (hangs up phone)

Bart: I'll dig an outhouse!
Lisa: I'll weed the floor.
Marge: I'll repress the rage I'm feeling.

(After the tractor falls on Homer)
Bart: Dad!
Homer: Go get Lassie!
Bart: Lassie?
Homer: I mean Lisa.

(When Homer arrives at the feed store to get some seeds)
Farmer 1: Well, well. Look at the city slicker pulling up in his fancy German car.
Homer: This car was made in Guatemala.
Farmer 2: Well, pardon us, Mr. Gucci loafers.
Homer: I bought these shoes from a hobo.
Farmer 1: Well, la-de-da, Mr. Park Avenue manicure.
Homer: I'm sorry, I believe in good grooming.

Lenny: Plutonium? Gee, Homer, isn't that kind of risky? Yeah, I guess you're right. It's not.

Homer: If we learned one thing from "The Amazing Colossal Man" and "Grasshopperus," it's that radiation makes stuff grow real big, real fast.
Marge: But didn't Grasshopperus kill Chad Everett?
Homer: Only because he tried to reason with him.

Chief Wiggum: I promised my son he could tip over his first cow. And I-Tomacco?
Homer: Yes, it's the latest craze. Try some, won't you?
Chief Wiggum: Go ahead, Ralphie. The stranger is offering you a treat.

Bart: (when Bart eats the tomato) Bleh! Tastes like cigarette butts.
Marge: (takes the half-eaten tomato) That's odd. The outside looks like a tomato, but the inside is brown.
Lisa: Maybe the tomato seeds crossbred with the tobacco seeds.
Homer: Oh, great, I've got a field full of mutants.

Lisa: (to Homer) Tomacco? That's pretty clever, Dad. I mean, for a product that's evil and deadly.
Homer: Aw, thanks, honey.

(After Ralph takes a bite of the Tomacco and spits it out)
Ralph: Oh, Daddy, this tastes like Grandma.
Chief Wiggum: [takes a bite, and spits it out too] Holy Moses, it does taste like Grandma!

Laramie Executive: (to the Simpsons) Meet the Laramie cigarette team. This is Mindy, J. P., and Emil.
Mindy: Homer, we're in a bit of a pickle. Kids are crazy about tobacco, but the politicians won't let us sell it to them.
Homer: Those dirty, rotten...
Mindy: Tell me about it. But there's no law against selling kids tomacco. That little "m" is worth a lot of money to us...and to you.
Homer: How much?
Laramie Executive: Well, let's say a hundred ...
Homer: (gasps)
Laramie Executive: ... and fifty ...
Homer: (gasps louder)
Laramie Executive: ... million dollars.
Homer: (excitedly) One hundred and ... (calmly) May I speak to my family for a moment?

(While the Simpsons are in the executive bathroom)
Homer: Did you see the way Emil's looking at Mindy? I think something's going on there.
Marge: Shouldn't we be talking about the $150 million offer?
Homer: Oh, yeah, let's take it.
Lisa: Dad, it's a tobacco company. They make billions off the suffering and death of others.
Bart: She's right, Dad. They can afford a lot more.
Lisa: No...
Marge: I'm with Lisa. Let's take them to the cleaners.

Lisa: You're about to launch a terrible evil on the world. You've got to destroy this plant.
Homer: I know, honey, but what can I do as an individual. I wouldn't know where to begin.
Lisa: Just burn that plant right now and end this madness.
Homer: I wish I could make a difference, Lisa, but I'm just one man.
Lisa: (growls)
Homer: I agree, but how?

Season 10 Season 11 Quotes Season 12
Beyond BlunderdomeBrother's Little HelperGuess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?Treehouse of Horror XE-I-E-I-D'ohHello Gutter, Hello FadderEight Misbehavin'Take My Wife, SleazeGrift of the MagiLittle Big MomFaith OffThe Mansion FamilySaddlesore GalacticaAlone Again, Natura-DiddilyMissionary: ImpossiblePygmoelianBart to the FutureDays of Wine and D'oh'sesKill the Alligator and RunLast Tap Dance in SpringfieldIt's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad MargeBehind the Laughter
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.

Fandom may earn an affiliate commission on sales made from links on this page.

Stream the best stories.

Fandom may earn an affiliate commission on sales made from links on this page.

Get Disney+