Eating Dinner/Quotes

Episode	References	Gags	Appearances	Gallery	Quotes	Credits

◄ Burp Contest

Eating Dinner

Making Faces ►

Act One

[Marge comes in, carrying a steaming bowl of purple gelatinous glop. (High-amplitude, low-frequency oscillations.) Marge calls with a smile...]

Marge: Dinner!

[No response. Marge gradually loses her smile.]

Marge: Hot meal! Come and get it.

[Another try.]

Marge: Hearty and nutritious! Right here!

[She tosses the bowl off its tray onto the table. The purple goo compresses, and when it springs back into shape, five globlets peel off, one landing in each bowl on the table. Still nobody comes.]

Marge: Anyone who doesn't get his or her butt in here pronto will go without dessert!

[Homer, Lisa, Bart, and Maggie dash in, take their seats, grab a fork (except for Maggie who uses her hand) and take a mouthful of purple glop.]

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Act Two

[The family munch noisily away. The picture on the wall is of a volcano beginning to erupt purple lava.]

Marge: Hold it everybody, we forgot to say grace.

Homer: Say, that's right!

Marge: This family could use a little reverence around here.

[The family put down their utensils. Maggie replaces her pacifier. They bow their heads in prayer. (Except for Maggie, who keeps her eyes open and looks around.]

Homer: Good drink... good meat... good God, let's eat!

[And with that, Homer, Lisa and Bart raise high their forks and dig heartily into the purple glop. (Maggie removes her pacifier and resumes eating with her hand.]

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Act Three

[The picture on the wall is of a volcano erupting full force. The pan of purple glop is nearly empty. Homer, Lisa, and Bart raise their spoons and slurp loudly. Maggie slurps through a straw. Marge frowns and casts a glance at the camera.]

Marge: Hold on, all of you. There's no need to slurp your soup so loudly.

[Homer waves his spoon, thereby shaking off some purple soup that was in it at the time. There are also two purple stains on his shirt.

Homer: She's right, you little slobs.

Marge: Let's try a little dignity around here. I don't want to hear any slurping.

Lisa [bored]: Right, Mom.

Bart [bored]: Okey-dokey, Mom.

[Homer, Lisa and Bart take a spoonful of soup and swallow it loudly. (Maggle swallows loudly from her straw.) Marge quietly fumes and casts another furtive glance at the camera.]

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Act Four

[Homer, Lisa, Bart, and Maggie are eating noisily, their mouths overfull with purple glop. (So full they can't even close their mouths.) Maggie is holding her pacifier in her left hand and a knife in her right.]

Marge: You know, dinner shouldn't be eaten in silence.

[Homer swallows.]

Marge: This should be a time... for communication.

Homer: That's a good idea, dear. Bart, turn on the TV.

[Bart zips off stage right and pushes the TV set in front of the table, so everyone can see. (The picture faces away from the camera.) The dining room is bathed in the glow of a cathode ray tube. Bart returns to his seat. Marge watches the news, stunned.]

News Reporter: On tonight's news: Bus plunge kills 43. Freak roller coaster accident decapitates a family of 5.