Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder
Eight Misbehavin'
Take My Wife, Sleaze
Flanders: They can be a real handful... of joy.
Apu: Shut up.
Flanders: They'll fill your lives with...
Apu: Just shut up.
Flanders: [quickly] Can't put a price on a miracle!
Apu: I can't believe you don't shut up!

Allen Wrench: You put it together yourself! All you need is me, Alan Wrench!
Homer: He's named after what he is.
Bart: Cool costume!
Allen Wrench: [Robotic voice] It's not a costume. They found me inside a meteor!
Marge: Excuse me where are your hamper lids?
Allen Wrench: [Normal voice] Hamper lids? Third floor. [Robotic, to Bart] Help! I need tungsten to live! Tungsten!

Apu: Well if the police won't help us I guess we'll just have to take the law into our own hands.
Chief Wiggum: Yeah, yeah a lot of people are doing that these days.

Homer: Don't worry, I've brought chloroform.
[Homer sticks "chloroform" on the guard woman]
Apu: You idiot! Those are colourforms!

Manjula: (while pregnant) Apu, do you still find me attractive?
Apu: Of course I do, sweetheart. You are beautiful and silky and manageable.
Manjula: You are reading that off a conditioner bottle!
Apu: That's true, but you still have a...
(Manjula's water breaks)
Manjula: Ooooooh... Whaaaaah... my water broke.
Apu: We better get you to the hospital. Clean up in Aisle 3!
Gil: Oh boy! Gil is making his way up the big leagues (slips on wet floor) Ow, my back!

Homer: Man, the last nine months sure were crazy.
Bart: I'll say. I learned the true meaning of Columbus Day.
Marge: I enjoyed a brief but memorable stint as Sideshow Marge.
Lisa: I became the most popular girl in school, but blew it by being conceited.
Bart: And then I learned the true meaning of winter.

Homer: Kids are the best, Apu. You can teach them to hate the things you hate. And they practically raise themselves, what with the Internet and all.

[When Marge and Lisa are looking at pencil holders]
Lisa: [picks up a pencil holder] Ooh, I want to get the Krünk.
Marge: Mmmm, you don't want something that overshadows the pencils. [holds up another pencil holder] How about this Pöpli?
Lisa: Mom, no! Everyone at school picks on the Pöpli kids..even I do. [under her breath] I just hate them so much.

[At the Kwik-E-Mart, Apu is sitting in the ice cream cooler when Homer arrives]
Homer: Hey, Apu! Sitting in the ice cream cooler, eh?
Apu: By chilling my loins, I increase the chances of impregnating my wife.
Homer: Who-o-a! Too much information! Thanks for the mental picture. Why don't you tell us what you really think?
Apu: Just stop spouting those hackneyed quips.
Homer: Could you be any more ... hello? [laughs] Look, just give me some ice cream. [Apu pulls out out an ice cream container] Um, how about one not touching your ass? [Apu gives him another one]
Apu: [his pager goes off] Oh! Manjula has begun to ovulate. [gets up and leaves quickly]
Homer: Ew, thanks for sharing. [Apu drives home and his car passes the Kwik-E-Mart] [yells] More than I wanted to know!

Dr. Hibbert: Did anyone else slip this woman fertility drugs? [Homer, Marge, and Bart raise their hands]
Homer: [holds up a pill] Mine tasted like strawberries. [eats it] Mmmm, ovulicious.

Kent Brockman: How do you feel about this avalanche of free merchandise?
Manjula: Oh, the companies are so generous. Except the Q-Tip people. They only gave us three crates. They can rot in hell.
Apu: But the good folks at Sony. [kisses remote] Their giant TV will really help us love our babies.

Manjula: Apu, it's 4:00 a.m. You're late for work.
Apu: [wakes up] Oh, I just had the most beautiful dream where I died.
Manjula: Oh, no, you don't. Not 'till they're out of college.
Apu: Listen, I'll die when I want to.

Marge: Apu told me all eight babies have colic, although he thinks one or two might just be going along with the crowd.
Homer: 8 babies ... I'm sterile, right, baby doll?
Marge: Yes, dear. From the nuclear plant.
Homer: Beautiful.

Apu: Homer, we have tried everything. Oysters, gravity boots, Sanjay's bed, every possible position.
Homer: Really? On top and underneath?

[Apu and Manjula read from a script written by Homer designed to help them conceive. The script is noticeably littered with inconsistencies.]
Apu: Gee, Betsy, it's such a nice night. Why don't we go all the way?
Manjula: But Greg, my dad will kill me! And you have that scholarship to Ivy League State.
Apu: Listen up baby, tomorrow I'm shipping off to Vietnam. I... [breaks character] I thought I was going to Ivy League State?
Homer: My mistake, stay in the moment.
Manjula: Just promise not to forget me on your dinosaur bone digging-up trip. [proceeds to make love with Apu]
Homer: And that's my cue to exit.

Season 10 Season 11 Quotes Season 12
Beyond BlunderdomeBrother's Little HelperGuess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?Treehouse of Horror XE-I-E-I-D'ohHello Gutter, Hello FadderEight Misbehavin'Take My Wife, SleazeGrift of the MagiLittle Big MomFaith OffThe Mansion FamilySaddlesore GalacticaAlone Again, Natura-DiddilyMissionary: ImpossiblePygmoelianBart to the FutureDays of Wine and D'oh'sesKill the Alligator and RunLast Tap Dance in SpringfieldIt's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad MargeBehind the Laughter
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.