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Father Knows Worst |
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- Homer: Ooh, lamb kebab! (eats the kebab) Ooh, chicken kebab! (eats it, as well) (grabs a lit fire juggling stick) Ooh, fire kebab!
- Lisa: Dad, no!
- Bart: (cutting in front of Lisa) Dad, yes!
- Homer: [blowing fire] AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! WATER! [Bart brings a bottle to Homer] Ugh... Oh, thank you... [drinks it, and then realizes that it's lighter fluid]
- Bart: [laughs]
- Homer: [blowing fire] WHY -- YOU -- LITTLE--!!! [grunts while strangling Bart] BURN, BARTY, BURN! [roaring and blowing fire at the strangled Bart]
- Homer: (watching Bart and Lisa at school) My son is a loser, and my daughter is a loner. Way to go, Marge!
- Marge: It feels like a sauna in here. (sees sign over door reading "Springfield Saunas") It is a sauna! It must have been put here by a previous owner. This house is full of surprises, but this is the first one that's pleasant.
- Marge: Here, Homer. Have some beets. I boiled all the red out of them.
- Homer: Oh, I can still taste undercurrents of pink!
- Lisa: Here, dad. Maybe this will help.
- Homer: It feels like food, but it has no flavor whatsoever! What is it?
- Lisa: Mac and cheese from the school cafeteria. The blandest food known to man.
- Lisa: Dad, if I join a clique, I'd become someone I hate.
- Homer: Lisa, our country was founded by a clique, the Continental Congress. :Dolphins live in cliques. Those are my two examples.
- Lisa: Those are good examples.
- Lisa: Dad, I don't want to hurt people.
- Homer: Very well. I guess you don't need this big girl book.
- Lisa: I'm a big girl! I'm a big girl!
- Homer: I'm a good father to both my children. (to Maggie) Well, hello there. Who do you belong to?
- Homer: Black Hawk Down! Black Hawk Down!
- Oscar Wilde: Homer, there are only two tragedies in life: One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
- Homer: But that makes no sense.
- Oscar Wilde: Experience is simply the name we give to our mistakes.
- Homer: Shut up!
- Oscar Wilde: These days, man knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
- Homer: Whatever happened to "Boo"?!
| ā Season 19 | Season 20 Quotes | Season 21 āŗ |
|---|---|---|
| Sex, Pies, and Idiot Scrapes ā¢ Lost Verizon ā¢ Double, Double, Boy in Trouble ā¢ Treehouse of Horror XIX ā¢ Dangerous Curves ā¢ Homer and Lisa Exchange Cross Words ā¢ Mypods and Boomsticks ā¢ The Burns and the Bees ā¢ Lisa the Drama Queen ā¢ Take My Life, Please ā¢ How the Test Was Won ā¢ No Loan Again, Naturally ā¢ Gone Maggie Gone ā¢ In the Name of the Grandfather ā¢ Wedding for Disaster ā¢ Eeny Teeny Maya, Moe ā¢ The Good, the Sad and the Drugly ā¢ Father Knows Worst ā¢ Waverly Hills, 9-0-2-1-D'oh ā¢ Four Great Women and a Manicure ā¢ Coming to Homerica | ||