Haw-Haw Land
Frink Gets Testy
Homer Is Where the Art Isn't
Mr. Burns: I need you to tell me who is worthy of surviving the Apocalypse with me.
I only want the sharpest razors in this town's Halloween candy.

Orson Welles [in the Nostradamus documentary]: The following film, made in 1982, was thought to be lost forever. Actually, it was misplaced in a box for the comedy Doctor Detroit... but its predictions are more terrifying than ever.
Orson Welles [sips champagne midway through his introduction]: Hello, I'm Orson... Welles, director of Citizen Kane.
Homer Bo-ring.
Orson Welles: As well as the lower left hand square on Hollywood Squares.
Homer: Ooh, right next to Ruth Buzzi.
Orson Welles: In 1555, the prophet Nostradamus foretold a terrifying series of predictions, all of which came to pass: First, his own death; second, large wars in Europe, similar to the large wars he observed in Europe; and the breakup of Fleetwood Mac. But Nostradamus's final quatrain contained one more prediction yet to come: that shortly after the Antichrist becomes President, a flaming mushroom spreads across the sky.
Orson Welles [sipping champagne]: This champagne is terrible; it tastes like dryer sheets! But what does said mushroom signify? Nothing less than World War III!
Lisa: Ugh! Who'd fall for this malarkey?

[Ralph is up high on a construction girder]
Chief Wiggum: Don't worry, Lou. I've seen cartoons. Swee'Pea, Mr. Magoo.. Ralph will be fine.
Lou: What about Sylvester the Cat?
Chief: Never be a cat in a cartoon, Lou. NEVER.

Mr. Burns: I'm scared. Release the comforting hounds.
[Smithers snaps his fingers and some dogs jump onto Mr. Burns' bed, one of which licks him]
Mr. Burns: Excellent. Now make them into rugs.

Season 28 Season 29 Quotes Season 30
The SerfsonsSpringfield SplendorWhistler's FatherTreehouse of Horror XXVIIIGrampy Can Ya Hear MeThe Old Blue Mayor She Ain't What She Used to BeSingin' in the LaneMr. Lisa's OpusGone BoyHaw-Haw LandFrink Gets TestyHomer Is Where the Art Isn't3 Scenes Plus a Tag from a MarriageFears of a ClownNo Good Read Goes UnpunishedKing LeerLisa Gets the BluesForgive and RegretLeft BehindThrow Grampa from the DaneFlanders' Ladder
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.

Watch The Simpsons

Watch now
Available On