Bart tries to get a Soviet submarine but ends up with something else bigger.
Principal Skinner talks to the 4th grade class about mail-order fraud as he was victimized by a group calling themselves "Herman's Hermits" which instead of being a fan group about the British band, was just a recruitment to war (Vietnam War that is). But he ends up encouraging Bart to try to mail order for a Soviet submarine, but when the order comes to Lichtenslava, the goat eats the part with the pic of the submarine and the guy mistakes it as a order for a mail-order bride which catches Bart off-guard.
Despite attempts to clarify things, Marge ends up allowing her to stay and Bart feels like he's in love. However Lisa ends up telling the girl that she shouldn't be with a 10 year old and so the Simpsons plan to have any single guy in Springfield swoon for her and take her off their hands. Unfortunately single guys like Jasper, Abe Simpson, Comic Book Guy, Sea Captain and Principal Skinner creep her out and she flees for Lichtenslava.