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Future-Drama |
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- (Bart and Lisa are teasing each other in the street about their romantic prospects)
- Bart: Oh yeah? Well, you love Moleman!
- Lisa: You're gay for Moleman!
- Bart: No, you're gay for Moleman!
- (They start wrestling)
- Hans Moleman: (sadly) No one's gay for Moleman.
- Kearney: Okay, I want a nice clean prom. That means no booze, kick, puff, doze, max, stim, or turb. Remember, stim kills!
- Skinner: It's what turned Superintendent Chalmers into a vegetable.
- Chalmers: (going around in a circle in an electronic wheelchair) Skinner! Skinner! Skinner! Skinner! Skinner! Skinner!
- Moe: (MoeClone drops a beer mug) You moron! Oh, why did I think I ever needed a clone?
- MoeClone: Hey, I'm not the clone! You're the clone!
- Moe: Oh, please, not this again. audio clip
- (Moe and MoeClone are watching Homer and Krusty strangle each other)
- Moe: Once they destroy each other...
- MoeClone: ...then we make our move.
- (a spider with Moe's head lowers himself down)
- MoeSpiderClone: Yes, we make our move.
- (camera zooms in on SpiderClone and both Moes look at him)
- MoeSpiderClone: What? A spider got into the cloning machine.
- (In the future, Teenage Lisa strangling Teenage Bart after finding out he took the Yale scholarship)
- Teenage Lisa: You've wrecked my life!
- (In the present, Lisa is also strangling Bart)
- Lisa: You're gonna wreck my life!
- (Homer puts on a wig and leads Bart to the airlock in his underwater home)
- Homer: Come on, boy! We're hitting the town!
- (They sit in the decompression chamber. Homer reaches for a knob)
- Homer: After decompressing, of course.
- (Homer turns the knob which begins a countdown of three hours as well as the hissing noise of decompression. By the end of this dialogue, only eleven seconds tick by)
- Bart: (beat) So...what do ya do to kill time in here?
- Homer: There's a DVD player, but it doesn't work.
- (Milhouse gets stuck between two trees)
- Milhouse: Lenny, Carl, can you pull me out?
- Lenny: Sorry, we're ghosts now.
- Carl: Our spirits live in those two trees.
- Lenny: Or maybe we're alive and feel like jerking you around!
- Carl: Or maybe we're one of each!
- (Lenny and Carl chuckle as they leave, complete with eerie alien-style music) audio clip
- Bart: This blows! I wanna see Vice President Cletus!
- (changes machine screen to VP Cletus)
- Vice President Cletus: (on phone) You want me to attend the funeral of the Sultan of Brunei? Well, I would consider it my honor. (yelling) Hey, Brandine! Pack my evenin' britches! We goin' to Brunei audio clip
- Lisa: How did you know we were coming?
- Professor Frink: Because I have mastered the one true science... (dramatic pose) astrology!
- Lisa: Don't you mean 'astronomy'?
- Prof. Frink: No, my dear, I said (goes back to dramatic pose) astrology!
- (Homer and Bart pass through a mountain using a portal/tunnel, coming out of the other side with Bender in the car)
- Bender: Alright! You guys are my new best friends!
- Homer: You wish, loser! audio clip
- Snake: Don't move, Teenage Bart! I've got you covered with my phaser-slash-cell phone.
- (the phone begins playing The Entertainer) (talking into phone)
- Snake: Dude, this is totally not the time to call me...I don't know, some kind of pasta...look, just get me what you're having...ew, not that!
- (Bart knocks Snake out)
- Snake: (semi-delirious) What soups do they have? (passes out) audio clip
- (at the high school prom, it's time for slow dance. Martin and his date, "Childlike-Humanoid-Urban-Muchacho" {or C.H.U.M., which he invented in "Fat Man and Little Boy} are dancing)
- Martin: So, any plans after graduation?
- C.H.U.M.: Travel.
- Martin: Do you need a traveling companion per chance?
- C.H.U.M.: Travel cancelled!
- Ralph: (to a girl at prom) I can use the potty now. audio clip
- Lisa: (Bart is watching a hologram of the prom, Martin is dancing with his robot "date") Is that robot break dancing?
- Bart: No, he just activated his self-destruct mechanism.
- (the robot explodes)
- Homer: Hey Moe. Hey MoeClone.
- Moe: Hey ya, Homer.
- MoeClone: Hey, Homer.
- Moe: Hey hey hey hey. I don't pay you to socialize.
- MoeClone: Oh right. You're the 'people person'!
- Moe: Watch with the attitude, mister! You came from my back fat.
- Otto: (runs nude from the limo he was driving) I can fly! I can fly! (runs toward a cliff while flapping his arms, but stops before he reaches the edge)
- Otto: Just kidding. I know I can't fly. I can glide though! (runs off the edge and falls to his death)
- (Bart is cleaning the Kwik-E-Mart floor.)
- Anoop: (Spits on floor.) You missed a spot! Do it again!
- Bart: Yes, Mr. Gheet.
- Anoop: I'm Anoop, you racist cracker! (Kicks Bart.)
- Mr. Burns: Hello, Smithers. Nice of you to drop by... AFTER my life was saved.
- Smithers: Sir, you KNEW I was on a date!
- Bart: Mr. Smithers? I thought you were...ah...you know...
- Smithers: Ha ha, no I'm straight, as long as I take these injections every 10 minutes! (injects himself) I love BOOBIES!
- Marge: I'm so proud of you! (To Lisa) Lisa graduated two years earlier (to Bart) and Bart... (Stares at him) graduated!