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The Wettest Stories Ever Told
Girls Just Want to Have Sums
Regarding Margie


I don't have any opinions anymore. All I know is that no one is better than anyone else, and everyone is the best at everything.
Seymour Skinner

Girls Just Want to Have Sums is the nineteenth episode of Season 17.

Synopsis[]

After Principal Skinner gets in trouble for making an off-hand remark about how a former Springfield Elementary School student succeeded, despite being bad at math, a new female principal is hired and segregates the school based on gender. But when Lisa feels that the girls' side isn't doing any real learning, she disguises herself as a boy and goes to the boys' side.

Full Story[]

The Simpson family and many other prominent Springfieldians go to see a performance of Stab-A-Lot: The Itchy and Scratchy Musical. The show mostly comprises the homicidal cat and mouse doing what they do best, but all in song. The performance enthralls the audience and gives it a standing ovation. Juliana Krellner, the director, comes out on stage, accompanied by Principal Skinner, to acknowledge the cheers. Skinner reveals she used to be a student at Springfield Elementary, and while acknowledging all her accomplishments, Julianna points out she got a B in math and Skinner replies "you are a girl". Everyone in the audience is horrified and boos Skinner as he tries to ease the tension.

The next day, the teachers of Springfield Elementary and other women stage a protest outside the school against Skinner's remark, much to the displeasure of Superintendent Chalmers. Skinner assures him that he will take care of it and holds a conference in the school auditorium, inviting all the protesting ladies to attend. There, he tries to pacify them - by wearing a skirt (revealing his hairy legs), much to the amusement of his students, but not the ladies. He tries saying men and women are equals, but unique. Nothing he says has a good effect on the ladies, and he starts hyperventilating and collapses on stage. Chalmers takes the podium and introduces Melanie Upfoot as the new principal of Springfield Elementary. Her first act as principal is separating the boys and girls into separate sides of the school, which is met with mixed reactions.

On the first day of separate schools, Otto pulls up and lets the girls out first, then he switches the radio to "Breaking the Law" by Judas Priest and goes to unlock the boys from their cage in the bus so they can attend their school. Lisa feels right at home in the girls' school, with the fountains, paintings, and new paint job. She attends math class, which will be taught by the new Principal Upfoot herself. However, instead of the usual math concept, she takes a New Age approach to math. While the other girls enjoy it, Lisa asks whether they will get down to doing actual math problems, to which Principal Upfoot claims that is how men look at math. Disillusioned by the New Age approach toward one of her favorite subjects, Lisa leaves and gets into the boys' school compound. She peeps into one of the classrooms and sees a math class in session, where actual math is being taught in the exact way she likes it. She is caught by Skinner, now an assistant to Groundskeeper Willie, and he tells her she is not allowed there.

After a chat with Marge, Lisa decides to disguise herself as a boy, named "Jake Boyman" and attend the boys' school. Everyone calls her "Toilet" due to first appearing with toilet paper on her shoe. During math class, Lisa gets a problem wrong, but she feels happy to have learned something without anyone judging her. Unfortunately, being with the boys means having to act like one. Lisa gets into a fight with Nelson after accidentally bumping into him with his "eating food", and as much as she tries to use her intelligence to escape her situation, she gets beaten up. When Bart returns home that day, he walks up to Lisa's bedroom door, laughing and telling her she missed out on Nelson wailing on a "dork". However, his impression of the fight becomes more tragic and upsetting rather than funny when he sees Lisa, still dressed as Jake, dirty and beat up, sitting on her bed, crying softly, admitting she is "Toilet."

With Lisa worried about Marge not letting her take boys' math should she find out Lisa got beat up, Bart promises to teach Lisa to act like a boy. Thanks to Bart's help, Lisa starts acting more like a boy and earns the respect from the other boys after beating up Ralph Wiggum. Lisa continues to do well in math class and even gets an A on a test. Finally, at an award ceremony, "Jake" wins an award for outstanding achievement in the field of mathematics. Upon receiving the award, Lisa reveals to the whole school that she is Jake and announces the best math student is a girl. Bart gets up and tells everyone she only won because she was acting like a boy. Angry at hearing this, Lisa throws her award at Bart, but ends up hitting Ralph when Bart ducks. Shocked at how "boy-like" she has become, she says she thought the boys had it easier, but sees their world is more cruel and sadistic. The boys embark in a chair fight as Lisa claims she is glad she is a girl and is good at math. Skinner is reinstated as principal in The Monkey Suit.

Meanwhile, Homer gets himself in hot water with Marge as his male-dominant behavior makes her enraged. He ends up sleeping on the couch for his comments and laments the fact that women invented it. It is also revealed that Marge used to like math, but thanks to passing so much time with Homer, she can't usually do housekeeper-like math problems. The next night, Homer tries to apologize for his sexism, but lacks both intellect and sensitivity to this and is once again, forced to sleep on the couch. He then insults Santa's Little Helper and literally ends up in the doghouse.

Songs[]

"King Of Cats"[]

  • Itchy, Scratchy, Itchy, Itchy, Scratchy
    Itchy, Scratchy, Itchy, Itchy, Scratchy
    From the day you are born in the alley
    To the day you are hit by a car
    There's cream to drink
    And mice to eat
    And great big balls of yarn
    It's the circle...
    The circle of...knife.

"It's Symbiotic"[]

  • [Sung by Itchy and Scratchy]
    Scratchy:
    I don't know why I trust him
    I guess some cats just never learn
    Itchy:
    I feel so good when I have crushed him
    Or left him mangled, maimed, and burned
    Both:
    I supposed it's symbiotic
    And perhaps a bit erotic
    Scratchy:
    'Cause pain is my narcotic
    Itchy:
    You really liked it?
    Scratchy:
    Yes, I loved it
    Both:
    And that's why we're always...
    Itchy:
    Fighting

    Scratchy:
    and Biting
    Itchy:
    And dynamite igniting

"Knives Finale"[]

  • It's the circle
    The circle of knife
    Yes, the circle
    The circle of knife

I Know What Boys Like (The Waitresses)[]

  • I know what girls like
    I know what guys want
    Sucker, (laughs with the teeth and mouth closed)

Broadcasting Information[]

US/Canada

  • 1st Airdate: Sunday, April 30, 2006
  • 2nd Airdate: Sunday, July 9, 2006

UK

  • 1st Airdate: Sunday, September 17, 2006

Australia

  • 1st airdate: Tuesday, 15 August 2006

Citations[]


Season 16 Season 17 Episodes Season 18
The Bonfire of the ManateesThe Girl Who Slept Too LittleMilhouse of Sand and FogTreehouse of Horror XVIMarge's Son PoisoningSee Homer RunThe Last of the Red Hat MamasThe Italian BobSimpsons Christmas StoriesHomer's Paternity CootWe're on the Road to D'oh-whereMy Fair LaddyThe Seemingly Never-Ending StoryBart Has Two MommiesHomer Simpson, This is Your WifeMillion-Dollar AbieKiss Kiss Bang BangaloreThe Wettest Stories Ever ToldGirls Just Want to Have SumsRegarding MargieThe Monkey SuitMarge and Homer Turn a Couple Play
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