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The Trouble with Trillions
Girly Edition
Trash of the Titans

But I have a certain respect for that whole "truth and hard work" thing that you do.
Bart Simpson
You know, Bart, if we combine your showmanship with my integrity, we could make kids really care about the news.
Lisa Simpson

"Girly Edition" is the twenty-first episode of Season 9.

Synopsis

Bart attempts to upstage Lisa when the pair land anchor seats on a Children's educational news program. Meanwhile, Homer exploits Grampa to obtain a helper monkey, which he quickly puts to work looting donut shops.

Full Story

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Krusty the Clown's show is coming under criticism by the FCC for not providing enough educational material for children, so Channel 6 agree to put a mini-series in to avoid further trouble. They choose to make it a children's news program and the producers look toward Springfield Elementary for staff. Meanwhile, Groundskeeper Willie takes away Bart's skateboard for messing up the leaves he just raked and as revenge, Bart fills Willie's shack with creamed corn, destroying it, and leaving Willie homeless. Bart then obtains his skateboard. Lisa is chosen for head anchor and has to pick the rest of the staff, including Milhouse and Nelson (whom she admits hired him because they used to date). Marge forces her to make Bart part of the show and while hesitant at first, she agrees. During the first show, Bart upstages Lisa with his over-the-top Sports report. Lindsey Naegle observes this and makes him co-anchor much to Lisa's horror.

Meanwhile, Homer goes to the Kwik-E-Mart to see that while Apu is healing from multiple wounds, he has a helper monkey to run the store. Homer is perplexed by the idea and goes to buy one himself, calling it Mojo. However, the monkey becomes as big of a slob as Homer is and Homer has to give him back to the store when Mojo becomes overweight from overeating and lack of exercise, even Marge can't stand Mojo.

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Bart overhears a conversation between Lisa and the producer where he hears her call him "dumb". To prove her wrong, he tries to read the headlines of the newspapers but ends going to the comics no matter what he tries. After that he goes to Kent Brockman for advice for help with his report. Kent shows him some of his emotional stories, inspiring Bart to create his own segment, "Bart's People", on the next show. Everyone who watches is touched, but Lisa sees through Bart and realizes the words he says are disjointed, even in his second edition he acts as if he doesn't know that veterens have two holidays, which Lisa points out annoyingly. Lisa tracks down and tries to do emotional stories as well but all she does it get into trouble. To make matters worse, Bart gets all the fan mail even though all he does is make the audience cry. Lisa has now become increasingly jealous and furious, she then gets revenge on him and tells Bart about a poor immigrant taking refuge in the dump. When Bart does his live report Willie comes out of nowhere, but Lisa comes to save Bart. They see that their disagreement will get them nowhere and the plan to retool the show to make it better, but it gets cancelled and replaced with "The Mattel and Mars Bar Quick Energy Chocobot Hour" much to Lisa's dismay.

Citations

Season 8 Season 9 Episodes Season 10
The City of New York vs. Homer SimpsonThe Principal and the PauperLisa's SaxTreehouse of Horror VIIIThe Cartridge FamilyBart StarThe Two Mrs. NahasapeemapetilonsLisa the SkepticRealty BitesMiracle on Evergreen TerraceAll Singing, All DancingBart CarnyThe Joy of SectDas BusThe Last Temptation of KrustDumbbell IndemnityLisa the SimpsonThis Little WiggySimpson TideThe Trouble with TrillionsGirly EditionTrash of the TitansKing of the HillLost Our LisaNatural Born Kissers