On a Clear Day I Can't See My Sister
Goo Goo Gai Pan
Mobile Homer
(Mr. Burns runs over the Cat Lady, Comic Book Guy and Hans Moleman)
Hans Moleman: At least I'm out doing things.

(At the Counsulate of China)
Clerk: And don't forget--your husband must go with you to China to pick up the baby.
Selma: All right, here I go…Writing the name…(Struggling to keep her composure as she writes Homer's name on the form)
Clerk: Excellent! You are Mrs. Homer Simpson. He is your soul mate and lover.
Selma: Yes…Homer Simpson is my whole world…I love him! (Sarcastically disgusted)
(Moments later at the nuclear plant cafeteria with Carl and Lenny, Homer shudders)
Homer: Oooh, I just felt a chill go through my very soul.
Lenny: Yeah, those Sloppy Joes will do that.

(The family is about to leave the hospital)
Homer: Come on kids, we should go. Goodbye, Selma. (Covers her with a blanket)
Selma: I'm not dead, idiot!
Homer: I know. That was for the other patients. (Selma punches him in the crotch) OW!!! Oooh, oooh, OWWW!!! My thingies!

(At a Krusty Fried Chicken cart)
Madam Wu: You shall be back in the land you love soon. Tomorrow we'll give you your baby.
Selma: Oh, my God! Really? My life begins at last!
Madam Wu: That is quite an insult to your other children.
Bart: We understand, ma'am. We're pretty lousy kids.

Marge: Selma, I didn't realize you wanted a child so badly.
Selma: I didn't want to get pregnant and lose my looks.
(Homer hides his laughter.)

Robert Wagner: (In the video) So let's all give menopause a round of men-applause. "Men-aplause?!?" I'm not saying that!

Dragons: (singing Chinese opera style) American Jerks are going home...Now we sleep for a thousand years...When we wake the world will end...

Madam Wu: Lisa, soon you will have a Chinese baby sister who will surpass you academically.
Lisa: I don't know about that. I'm considered pretty smart.
Madam Wu: Well, Tibet was considered pretty independent. How'd that work out?
Lisa: (Gasps) How dare you make light of that brutal…
Marge: (Restrains her) Mind your manners, Lisa.
Madam Wu: Such loving discipline. Maybe someday, someone will love you too, childless servant. (Marge makes a restrained angry growl)

Bart: What the hell's menopause?
Homer: Son, menopause is when the stork that brings babies gets shot by drunken hunters.

Pilot: If you look out the left side of the aircraft, you will see our monument to warrior, and spicy chicken pioneer, General Gou.
Homer: Wow, it makes Lincoln Memorial look like crap.

Madam Wu: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on Wu!

Homer: Wow, the fortune cookies here really are more accurate.
(Homer reads fortune that says "We will take Selma's baby.")

Fake Bart: Feast on my shorts, stupid father man.

Season 15 Season 16 Quotes Season 17
Treehouse of Horror XVAll's Fair in Oven WarSleeping with the EnemyShe Used to Be My GirlFat Man and Little BoyMidnight RxMommie BeerestHomer and Ned's Hail Mary PassPranksta RapThere's Something About MarryingOn a Clear Day I Can't See My SisterGoo Goo Gai PanMobile HomerThe Seven-Beer SnitchFuture-DramaDon't Fear the RooferThe Heartbroke KidA Star is TornThank God It's DoomsdayHome Away from HomerThe Father, the Son and the Holy Guest Star
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