Jaws Wired Shut
Half-Decent Proposal
The Bart Wants What It Wants
Artie Ziff: You can't spell "party" without "Artie". ...if you misspelled "Party", or... "Artie"...

(On the video Homer has left for Marge)
Homer: Don't worry about the kids. I'll drop them off with Patty and Selma.
Bart: (on the tape, but off-camera) Patty and Selma? Screw that!
Homer: Just run the camera, you little...! (lunges for Bart, knocking the camera over) D'oh! (grunting while strangling Bart) Good-bye, my darling. (resumes grunting and crying while strangling Bart)

Homer: Oh, I'm so sorry. (snores)
Marge: Are you snoring while you're awake?
Homer: Uh (snores) huh! (snores)

Homer: Oh! I can't take his money, I can't print my own money, I have to work for money. Why don't I just lie down and die?

Homer: (to Artie Ziff) Okay, Ziff. You get her for the weekend, but no funny stuff. And by funny stuff I mean hand-holding, goo-goo eyes, misdirected woo which is pretty much any John Woo film.
Artie Ziff: Your wife's virtue shall remain as untouched as Bill Gates' weight room.

Homer: Hee hee hee. Unguarded breakfast, the sweetest taboo.

Lenny: There's nothing on that helicopter for me.
Carl: (Pokes his head out of the helicopter) Don't be so sure!
Lenny: (Gasps and turns around) Carl Carlson!

Taxi Driver: That'll be $912.
Marge: Send the bill to Baron Von Kiss A Lot.
Taxi Driver: No problemo.
(Cut to a castle in Germany. Inside, a servant carries a letter)
Servant: This just arrived, Herr Baron...
Baron Von Kiss-A-Lot: (reveals his enormous lips) Okay, who's the wiseguy?

Season 12 Season 13 Quotes Season 14
Treehouse of Horror XIIThe Parent RapHomer the MoeA Hunka Hunka Burns in LoveThe Blunder YearsShe of Little FaithBrawl in the FamilySweets and Sour MargeJaws Wired ShutHalf-Decent ProposalThe Bart Wants What it WantsThe Lastest Gun in the WestThe Old Man and the KeyTales from the Public DomainBlame it on LisaWeekend at Burnsie'sGump RoastI Am Furious (Yellow)The Sweetest ApuLittle Girl in the Big TenThe Frying GamePoppa's Got a Brand New Badge
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