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Half-Decent Proposal |
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- Artie Ziff: You can't spell "party" without "Artie". ...if you misspelled "Party", or... "Artie"...
- (On the video Homer has left for Marge)
- Homer: Don't worry about the kids. I'll drop them off with Patty and Selma.
- Bart: (on the tape, but off-camera) Patty and Selma? Screw that!
- Homer: Just run the camera, you little...! (lunges for Bart, knocking the camera over) D'oh! (grunting while strangling Bart) Good-bye, my darling. (resumes grunting and crying while strangling Bart)
- Homer: Oh, I'm so sorry. (snores)
- Marge: Are you snoring while you're awake?
- Homer: Uh (snores) huh! (snores)
- Homer: Oh! I can't take his money, I can't print my own money, I have to work for money. Why don't I just lie down and die?
- Homer: (to Artie Ziff) Okay, Ziff. You get her for the weekend, but no funny stuff. And by funny stuff I mean hand-holding, goo-goo eyes, misdirected woo which is pretty much any John Woo film.
- Artie Ziff: Your wife's virtue shall remain as untouched as Bill Gates' weight room.
- Homer: Hee hee hee. Unguarded breakfast, the sweetest taboo.
- Lenny: There's nothing on that helicopter for me.
- Carl: (Pokes his head out of the helicopter) Don't be so sure!
- Lenny: (Gasps and turns around) Carl Carlson!
- Taxi Driver: That'll be $912.
- Marge: Send the bill to Baron Von Kiss A Lot.
- Taxi Driver: No problemo.
- (Cut to a castle in Germany. Inside, a servant carries a letter)
- Servant: This just arrived, Herr Baron...
- Baron Von Kiss-A-Lot: (reveals his enormous lips) Okay, who's the wiseguy?