- “My name is Hans. Drinking has ruined my life. I'm 31 years old!”
- ―Hans Moleman[src]
- “Hello, this is Moleman in the Morning. Good Moleman to you. Today, part four of our series of the agonizing pain in which I live every daaaay.”
- ―Hans Moleman[src]
- “A poem by Hans Moleman. I think that I shall never see, my cataracts are blinding me.”
- ―Hans Moleman[src]
- “No one's gay for Moleman.”
- ―Hans Moleman[src]
Hans Moleman (also known as Ralph Melish, born August 2) is a mole-like man with extremely bad luck. He is best known for his 10-second short film Man Getting Hit by Football in "A Star Is Burns". There is a running gag in the series of him getting killed by various accidents, yet returning unharmed later on. Because of this, some fans refer to him as The Simpsons version of South Park’s Kenny McCormick, or "The Kenny of Springfield".
Biography
Moleman first appeared in the Tracy Ullman short "Scary Movie" without glasses sleeping in the cinema, but wakes up when Bart screams. He was silent then. He looked different in that short, showing a prototype version of him. He was officially introduced as a speaking, unlucky character in the episode "Principal Charming"; however, his driver's license listed his name as "Ralph Melish".
He has cataracts and is almost entirely blind (which has severely impaired his reading ability). He carries a brown cane with him everywhere, which was once shown to contain a hidden sword.
Hans was once mistaken for Bart and accidentally had his brain "re-programmed" (Homer and Marge had hired a cult re-programmer, hoping to convince Bart to move out of Mr. Burns' mansion and back in with them), apparently leading him to believe he is the son of Homer and Marge.[2]
Homer once stumbled across Hans Moleman as the leader of a race of Mole People in an underground fortress complete with earthquake machines.[3] In the opening credits for The Simpsons, Marge strikes Moleman with her car. He has some jobs such as a mailman and a janitor (in the episode where Homer gets good luck).
His home address is 920 Oak Grove, Springfield.
Like most of Springfield's residents, Hans Moleman is of the Protestant Christian faith and is frequently seen at church. In "The Springfield Connection", he is seen with Reverend Lovejoy before his execution.
Hans Moleman once attended Springfield University for a short time, only so that he could have somewhere to sit. It is unknown how long he attended the school and whether he gained any credits.[4]
In Walking Big & Tall, it is revealed that Hans Moleman was once the mayor of Springfield.
Deaths
- Homer's Triple Bypass: Driven off a cliff by Homer while hauling Edgar Allen Poe's exploding house.
- Terror at 5½ Feet: Killed in a car explosion.
- The Last Temptation of Homer: Murdered by a Fossil Fuels Goon.
- Bart of Darkness: Gets torched by a sunbeam.
- The Springfield Connection: Executed with the electric chair (sometime at night).
- Mother Simpson: Buried alive in the Springfield Cemetery.
- Team Homer: Gets drilled in the brain by Mr. Burns.
- The Joy of Sect: Suffocated by the Rover guard balloon.
- The HΩmega Man: Dies when the French government detonates Springfield with a neutron bomb.
- Children of a Lesser Clod: Gets trapped inside of a morgue while still alive.
- Connie Appleseed: Gets sucked into quicksand.
- C.E. D'oh: Falls to his death after getting thrown out of a window.
- Reaper Madness: Gets killed by Homer's touch of death.
- 'Tis the Fifteenth Season: Gets eaten alive by wolves.
- The Ned Zone: Gets eaten alive by alligators.
- Million-Dollar Abie: Dies of a sudden heart attack.
- The Simpsons Movie: Gets run over by Homer's car.
- E. Pluribus Wiggum: Gets crushed by a large piece of concrete.
- The Debarted: Suffocated by an airbag.
- Double, Double, Boy in Trouble: Gets sucked up by the Vac-U-Bots.
- Mypods and Boomsticks: Drowns to death after driving his truck into the ocean.
- Don't Have a Cow, Mankind: Gets run over by a car after being turned into a zombie.
- The Squirt and the Whale: Gets crushed by a piece of an exploding whale.
- War and Pieces: Murdered by Colonel Ketchup with a letter opener.
- The Fool Monty: Gets run over by Smithers' car.
- The Falcon and the D'ohman: Gets struck by Homer's car.
- The D'oh-cial Network: Gets struck by Homer's car.
- Exit Through the Kwik-E-Mart: Gets crushed by Lard Lad's donut.
- A Test Before Trying: Dies when his life support gets unplugged.
- The Man Who Grew Too Much: Gets crushed by Sideshow Bob's block of concrete.
- School is Hell: Gets axed in half by Beelze-Bart.
- There Will Be Buds: Gets impaled by a sword.
- Haw-Haw Land: Dies of kidney failure.
- King Leer: Gets crushed by a folding bed.
- Geriatric Park: Gets crushed by a dinosaur's foot.
- Daddicus Finch: Gets stuck by Brockman's car.
- Bart vs. Itchy & Scratchy: Gets crushed by a boat.
- Gorillas on the Mast: Drowns to death after Maggie destroys his surfboard.
- The Fourth Thursday After Tomorrow: Gets run over by a pizza delivery vehicle.
- Treehouse of Horror XXXI intro: Killed by a robot.
Trivia
- In early episodes, his skin color was inconsistent and would range from yellow to brownish-yellow.
- There appears to be a continuity error involving his age.
- Although seemingly an elder, Hans Moleman once claimed that he was only 31 years old, implying in the process that his appearance is due to heavy drinking and not a result of old age.[5]
- His date of birth on his driver's license has been inconsistent. "Duffless" showed his date of birth to have been 2 August 1961, making him 31 when that episode aired. However, in an earlier episode "Principal Charming", his license said that he was born on that date in 1921, which would have made him 69 as of the airdate.
- He was apparently the mayor of Springfield 30 years ago, which casts his statement about being 31 years old into doubt, implying that he is well over 50.
- In "Little Girl in the Big Ten", one of the college girls refers to him as an "80-year-old man", although she was most likely only referring to him by his appearance.
- The ending of "Wild Barts Can't Be Broken" implies that he is over 70 years old.
- In "Gorillas on the Mast," Hans Moleman claims that he is 88 years old and never learned how to swim.
- His age of being only 31 is reinstated in The Simpsons: Tapped Out.
- In the Treehouse of Horror XVI segment: "I've Grown a Costume on Your Face", Moleman was humorously turned into a mole, despite not wearing a costume.
- He had an affair with Lars Ulrich's grandmother and is considered by Metallica to be a "real fan".[6]
- According to Homer, kissing him on the forehead is similar to kissing a peanut.[2]
- He is one of the Springfield residents to appear in a Tracey Ullman short, the others are Krusty and Abe.
- Hans Moleman is the unknown thief who stole Peter Griffin's car in "The Simpsons Guy".
- He is one of the Seniors who appears in the song "Adults/Kids".
- According to his license, he is 4'4" (132cm) and weighs 140lbs (64kg). Such a weight at this size would make Hans extremely overweight. However, he only appears slightly chubby.
Tributes
- In 2015, nerdcore rapper MC Lars created a song and music video as a tribute to Hans Moleman titled "The Ballad of Hans Moleman".
- In 2019, Vulture published an article titled "The Enigma of The Simpsons’ Hans Moleman".
Gallery
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Appearances
The Simpsons: Season Two | ||||
"Bart Gets an "F"": | "Simpson and Delilah": | "Treehouse of Horror": | "Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish": | "Dancin' Homer": |
Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent |
"Dead Putting Society": | "Bart vs. Thanksgiving": | "Bart the Daredevil": | "Itchy & Scratchy & Marge": | "Bart Gets Hit by a Car": |
Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent |
"One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish": | "The Way We Was": | "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment": | "Principal Charming": | "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?": |
Absent | Absent | Absent | Minor | Absent |
"Bart's Dog Gets an F": | "Old Money": | "Brush with Greatness": | "Lisa's Substitute": | "The War of the Simpsons": |
Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent |
"Three Men and a Comic Book": | "Blood Feud": | |||
Absent | Absent |
The Simpsons: Season Three | ||||
"Stark Raving Dad": | "Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington": | "When Flanders Failed": | "Bart the Murderer": | "Homer Defined": |
Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent |
"Like Father, Like Clown": | "Treehouse of Horror II": | "Lisa's Pony": | "Saturdays of Thunder": | "Flaming Moe's": |
Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent |
"Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk": | "I Married Marge": | "Radio Bart": | "Lisa the Greek": | "Homer Alone": |
Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent |
"Bart the Lover": | "Homer at the Bat": | "Separate Vocations": | "Dog of Death": | "Colonel Homer": |
Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent |
"Black Widower": | "The Otto Show": | "Bart's Friend Falls in Love": | "Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?": | |
Minor | Absent | Absent | Absent |
The Simpsons: Season Four | ||||
"Kamp Krusty": | "A Streetcar Named Marge": | "Homer the Heretic": | "Lisa the Beauty Queen": | "Treehouse of Horror III": |
Absent | Absent | Cameo | Absent | Absent |
"Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie": | "Marge Gets a Job": | "New Kid on the Block": | "Mr. Plow": | "Lisa's First Word": |
Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent |
"Homer's Triple Bypass": | "Marge vs. the Monorail": | "Selma's Choice": | "Brother from the Same Planet": | "I Love Lisa": |
Minor | Absent | Minor | Absent | Absent |
"Duffless": | "Last Exit to Springfield": | "So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show": | "The Front": | "Whacking Day": |
Minor | Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent |
"Marge in Chains": | "Krusty Gets Kancelled": | |||
Absent | Absent |
The Simpsons: Season Five | ||||
"Homer's Barbershop Quartet": | "Cape Feare": | "Homer Goes to College": | "Rosebud": | "Treehouse of Horror IV": |
Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent | Minor |
"Marge on the Lam": | "Bart's Inner Child": | "Boy-Scoutz 'n the Hood": | "The Last Temptation of Homer": | "$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)": |
Absent | Cameo | Minor | Minor | Cameo |
"Homer the Vigilante": | "Bart Gets Famous": | "Homer and Apu": | "Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy": | "Deep Space Homer": |
Absent | Absent | Absent | Cameo | Absent |
"Homer Loves Flanders": | "Bart Gets an Elephant": | "Burns' Heir": | "Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song": | "The Boy Who Knew Too Much": |
Absent | Cameo | Minor | Absent | Cameo |
"Lady Bouvier's Lover": | "Secrets of a Successful Marriage": | |||
Cameo | Minor |
The Simpsons: Season Six | ||||
"Bart of Darkness": | "Lisa's Rival": | "Another Simpsons Clip Show": | "Itchy & Scratchy Land": | "Sideshow Bob Roberts": |
Minor | Minor | Absent | Minor | Absent |
"Treehouse of Horror V": | "Bart's Girlfriend": | "Lisa on Ice": | "Homer Badman": | "Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy": |
Absent | Cameo | Minor | Absent | Absent |
"Fear of Flying": | "Homer the Great": | "And Maggie Makes Three": | "Bart's Comet": | "Homie the Clown": |
Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent |
"Bart vs. Australia": | "Homer vs. Patty and Selma": | "A Star is Burns": | "Lisa's Wedding": | "Two Dozen and One Greyhounds": |
Absent | Cameo | Minor | Absent | Absent |
"The PTA Disbands": | "'Round Springfield": | "The Springfield Connection": | "Lemon of Troy": | "Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One)": |
Absent | Minor | Minor | Absent | Cameo |
The Simpsons: Season Seven | ||||
"Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two)": | "Radioactive Man": | "Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily": | "Bart Sells His Soul": | "Lisa the Vegetarian": |
Cameo | Cameo | Absent | Cameo | Absent |
"Treehouse of Horror VI": | "King-Size Homer": | "Mother Simpson": | "Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming": | "The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular": |
Absent | Absent | Minor | Absent | Absent |
"Marge Be Not Proud": | "Team Homer": | "Two Bad Neighbors": | "Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springfield": | "Bart the Fink": |
Absent | Minor | Absent | Absent | Cameo |
"Lisa The Iconoclast": | "Homer The Smithers": | "The Day The Violence Died": | "A Fish Called Selma": | "Bart on the Road": |
Cameo | Absent | Absent | Absent | Absent |
"22 Short Films About Springfield": | "Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"": | "Much Apu About Nothing": | "Homerpalooza": | "Summer of 4 Ft. 2": |
Minor | Absent | Cameo | Absent | Absent |
Citations
- Male characters
- Alive characters
- Characters
- Season 2 first appearances
- Characters voiced by Dan Castellaneta
- Minor Characters
- Recurring characters
- Citizens of Springfield
- American Characters
- Adults
- Singles
- Moleman family
- Characters with multiple jobs
- Unlucky Characters
- Characters with Disablities
- Business Proprieters
- Tapped Out Characters
- Military personnel
- Politicians
- Fat characters
- Hans Moleman
- Christians
- Ex boyfriends of Selma Bouvier
- Criminals
- Alcoholics
- Smokers
- Beer Drinking Characters
- Fathers
- Ex-Boyfriends
- Divorced characters
- True Neutral
- Laymen
- Characters that wear Glasses
- Bald Characters
- Revived Characters
- Janitors
- Ralph Wiggum's Enemies
- People that have black eyes
- Kings
- Characters who died but have appeared since
- Seniors
- Immortally Alive Characters
- Homer Simpson's friends