Hans Moleman (also known as Ralph Melish, born August 2) is a mole-like man with extremely bad luck.
He is best known for his 10-second short film Man Getting Hit by Football in "A Star Is Burns". There is a running gag in the series of him getting killed by various accidents, yet returning unharmed and alive later on. Because of this, some fans refer to him as The Simpsons version of Kenny McCormick.
Hans Moleman first appeared in the Tracy Ullman short "Scary Movie" (without glasses) sleeping in the cinema, but wakes up when Bart screams. He was silent then. He looked different in that short, showing a prototype version of him. He was officially introduced as a speaking, unlucky character in the episode "Principal Charming"; however, his driver's license listed his name as "Ralph Melish".
He has cataracts and is almost entirely blind (which has severely impaired his ability to read and drive, which is why he always fails his vision test at the DMV). He carries a brown cane with him everywhere, which was once shown to contain a hidden sword.
Hans was once mistaken for Bart and accidentally had his brain "re-programmed" (Homer and Marge had hired a cult re-programmer, hoping to convince Bart to move out of Mr. Burns' mansion and back in with them), apparently leading him to believe he is the son of Homer and Marge.[1]
Homer once stumbled across Hans Moleman as the leader of a race of Mole People in an underground fortress complete with earthquake machines.[2] In the opening credits for The Simpsons, Marge strikes Moleman with her car. He has some jobs such as a mailman and a janitor (in the episode where Homer gets good luck).
His home address is 920 Oak Grove, Springfield.
His original driver license, which said he was born in 1921, was voided in "Principal Charming". He got a new one in "Black Widower", presumably the one voided in "Selma's Choice", which listed his year of birth as 1961.
Hans Moleman may have been a food proprietor, or at the very least was willing to participate in the A Taste of Springfield event, as he had a stand called "Hans Moleman's Gruel. However, this stand ended up blown up by Homer in a failed assassination attempt against the latter involving a poisoned eclair, with the resulting explosion being potent enough to leave a smoking crater behind (though Moleman himself survived, albeit covered with gruel, promptly participating in a massing and resulting beatdown of Homer afterward partly as a response to his destroyed gruel stand).
Like most of Springfield's residents, Hans Moleman is of the Protestant Christian faith and is frequently seen at church. In "The Springfield Connection", he is seen with Reverend Lovejoy before his execution.
Hans Moleman once attended Springfield University for a short time, only so that he could have somewhere to sit. It is unknown how long he attended the school and whether he gained any credits.[3]
In "Walking Big & Tall", it is revealed that Hans Moleman was once the mayor of Springfield.
Deaths[]
"Homer's Triple Bypass": Drove off a cliff, when Homer rammed him for going slow, while hauling Edgar Allen Poe's exploding house that caught on fire. A major contributing factor was his glasses being knocked off his face in-transit due to Homer's ramming him, forcing him to get his eyes off the wheel to try and find his glasses.
"Terror at 5½ Feet": Rammed off the road by Otto. His car stopped before hitting a tree, but exploded anyway.
"Hostile Kirk Place": Gets taken away by an eagle, presumably to be eaten alive.
Age[]
There appears to be a continuity error involving his age:
Although seemingly an elder, Hans Moleman once claimed that he was only 31 years old, implying in the process that his appearance is due to heavy drinking and not a result of old age.[4]
His date of birth on his driver's license has been inconsistent. "Duffless" showed his date of birth to have been August 2nd, 1961, making him 31 when that episode aired. However, in an earlier episode "Principal Charming", his license said that he was born on that date in 1921, which would have made him 69 as of the airdate.
He was apparently the mayor of Springfield 30 years ago, which casts his statement about being 31 years old into doubt, implying that he is well over 50.
In "Little Girl in the Big Ten", one of the college girls refers to him as an "80-year-old man", although she was most likely only referring to him by his appearance.
A younger and healthier version of Hans Moleman is featured in "Lisa the Boy Scout", before getting mutated into his regular form by a glowing uranium rod. This implies that Moleman's elderly-like appearance was due to a radioactive mutation, rather than old age or alcoholism.
Trivia[]
In early episodes, his skin color was inconsistent and would range from yellow to brownish-yellow.
In the "Treehouse of Horror XVI" segment: "I've Grown a Costume on Your Face", Moleman was humorously turned into a mole, despite not wearing a costume.
He had an affair with Lars Ulrich's grandmother and is considered by Metallica to be a "real fan".[5]
According to Homer, kissing him on the forehead is similar to kissing a peanut.[1]
He is one of the Springfield residents to appear in a Tracey Ullman short, the others are Krusty and Abe.
He is one of the Seniors who appears in the song "Adults/Kids".
According to his license, he is 4'4" (132cm) and weighs 140lbs (64kg). Such a weight at this size would make Hans extremely overweight. However, he only appears slightly chubby.
Mega Moleman X is the only Mega Man reference in The Simpsons franchise overall.
Tributes[]
In 2015, nerdcore rapper MC Lars created a song and music video as a tribute to Hans Moleman titled "The Ballad of Hans Moleman".
Simpsons short – "Scary Movie" (Cameo)
