Radioactive Man
Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodly
Bart Sells His Soul
Lisa: Mom! You mother us too much!
Marge: Enjoy it while you can kids! Because when you are grown up and I am dead, you will have no one to look after you!
(Bart and Lisa leave for school. Homer enters the living room)
Homer: Marge! A spider got near the car keys!
Marge: You did the right thing in coming to me, Homie.

Homer: Papa Bear has a present for his Mama Bear.

Homer: {to Marge} Come on, honey. You work yourself stupid for this family. If anyone deserves to be wrapped up in seaweed and buried in mud, it's you.

Springfield Elementary. Miss Krabappel's class is having their picture taken.
Edna Krabappel: Children, stop fidgeting! Bart Simpson, why are you scratching so much? Oh my goodness, you have head lice! How could this have happened?
Flashback to Van Houten residence. A monkey is atop Bart's head.
Milhouse: We found him asleep inside a wicker basket we bought at Pier One!
Springfield Elementary.
Bart: {talking to himself} Hey, how come I got lice and nothing bad happened to Milhouse?
Milhouse is suffering from ultra-low body temperatures and is shivering.
Milhouse: {talking to himself} So very cold.

Principal Skinner watches as Groundskeeper Willie burns Bart's lice-infested clothes.
Willie: See you in hell, you wingless bloodsuckers.
Lots of little screams are heard as the clothes burn.
Skinner: What kind of parents would permit such a lapse in scalpel hygiene?
Willie: Well, ye'd better check out his sister. She could be rife with them bugs ["boogs"] too!

The social workers notice a sign saying "I'm a stupid baby" taped to the back of Maggie.
Social Worker: Stupid babies need the most attention!

(Ned Flanders allows Bart and Lisa to watch Itchy and Scratchy. As usual, the Simpson kids enjoy the cartoon, but Rod and Todd are pale white, shocked at what they have just seen)
Rod: Daddy, what's the red stuff coming out of kitty's ears?
Ned: Uh, er, that's just raspberry jam!
Todd: Dad, should I poke Rod with a sharp thing like the mouse did?
Ned: No, son. No sirree BOB.

Marge: I miss how Bart would say something and end with "Dude."

Bart: Here you go, Todd, the city edition.

Ned Flanders: The bridal feast of Bethchedruharrezeb?

Lisa: Everything has a Pat Booneish Quality.

(In the Better Parenting class)
Cleatus: Uh, Pa, I cut myself on the screen door again.
Homer: Why, you COTTON PICKIN'!!!.... (strangles Cleatus, then realizes the class is watching) No, I gotta pass this class for my kids. Son, let's stop the fussin' and the feudin'.
Cleatus: I love you, Pa!
Homer: I love you, Cleatus! (both cry in each other's arms)

Teacher: If you leave milk out, it can go sour. Put it in the refrigerator, or, failing that, a cool, wet sack. And put your garbage in a garbage can, people. I can't stress that enough. Don't just throw it out the window.
Marge: This is so humiliating.
Homer: [taking notes] Garbage in garbage can. Hmm. Makes sense.

Homer: Now, wait a minute! Okay, I'm not gonna win Father of the Year. In fact, I'm probably the last guy in the world who should have kids. Uh- W- W-Well, wait- Wait. Can I start again? Fathering children is the best part of my day. I'd do anything for Bart and Lisa.
Judge: And, uh, Margaret?
Homer: Who? Lady, you got the wrong file.
Marge: It's Maggie.
Homer: Oh, Maggie. I got nothing against Maggie.

Bart: Ha-ha, you're gonna be Lisa Flanders!
Lisa: You're gonna be Bart Flanders.
Bart: (screams)
Maude Flanders: Oh, relax Bart, your sister Maggie isn't scared.
Bart: That's because she can't talk!
Maggie removes her pacifier.
Maggie: Daddily doodily!

Ned has called Rev. Lovejoy in a panic over having just learned that the Simpson kids aren't baptized.
Rev. Lovejoy: Ned, have you considered any of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same.

Marge: The only thing I am high on is love! Love for my son and daughters. Yes, a little L.S.D. is all I need!
Homer is shocked by what Marge unintentionally said and ushers her out.
Homer: Come on Marge, let us get out of here before they change their minds about us!

Homer: Dad! We leave you here with the kids and then the government takes them away from us?!
Grandpa: Oh, bitch, bitch, bitch!

Season 6 Season 7 Quotes Season 8
Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two)Radioactive ManHome Sweet Homediddly-Dum-DoodilyBart Sells His SoulLisa the VegetarianTreehouse of Horror VIKing-Size HomerMother SimpsonSideshow Bob's Last GleamingThe Simpsons 138th Episode SpectacularMarge Be Not ProudTeam HomerTwo Bad NeighborsScenes from the Class Struggle in SpringfieldBart the FinkLisa the IconoclastHomer the SmithersThe Day the Violence DiedA Fish Called SelmaBart on the Road22 Short Films About SpringfieldRaging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"Much Apu About NothingHomerpaloozaSummer of 4 Ft. 2
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