Feeling worthless at work, Homer volunteers to be a school crossing guard. But when his safety squad receives too much funding, the crossing guards become a force to be feared.
Plot[]
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The episode begins, showing Otto having a hallucination about a troll-fighting hero, then some men, presumably his friends, talking about how he should not have ate a whole pan of acid-covered brownies.
After that, the school talks about how Otto has gone missing with the school bus. At first, Principal Skinner suggests organizing a carpool for the parents to drive their kids to school. The parents instantly reject that, and Principal Skinner says that the kids will have to walk to school.
The school decides the kids will walk to school, however, they need a parent to volunteer to be a crossing guard. Homer seems to volunteer, but he had his earbuds in, and had no idea that he volunteered. He tried to protest, but it was too late.
At work, he tells Lenny about that, and warns Lenny to never have kids. Lenny says he does not need to worry about that, as he was born without a- suddenly, Lenny's warning system goes off. Homer notices that when Lenny's safety console signals an emergency, Homer's does not. Homer points that out, and Lenny admits that Homer's is fake.
At home, Homer and Marge make love, but Homer realizes that he is not even good at that after Marge pointed out that Homer didn't get an erection. He says he will just stay home tomorrow, but Marge points out he has to get up early for his crossing guard volunteer work.
The next day, Ralph is in the middle of crossing the street. As he is driving, Barney realizes he is late for his AA meeting. Suddenly, he is distracted by a bottle of Alcohol on the floor. He almost hits Ralph, but at the last second, Homer tackles Ralph, saving him from being hit. Ralph says his life flashed through his pants, meaning he probably peed.
On the news, Kent Brockman talks to Homer on the news. While watching, Mayor Quimby decides to give crossing guards an actual budget. Later, Homer and the other crossing guards talk to Principal Skinner.